Dank
by nadiak
Summary: She wants a thrill and she finds it in the bad boy from the dangerous side of the tracks. Watch them both intertwine themselves into worlds they never even belonged in. Learning the best lesson there is. We're all different but yet the same.
1. Turbulence

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

**BEWARE OF THIS STORY**

** It's not fluffy. It deals with hard drugs and the real shit that we hate to see happen in life.**

**These kids are lost souls. You'll hate to love them. **_  
_

**I've taken Stephenie's babies and put my twist on them.**

**This is a story about two very different individuals finding themselves entwined in worlds they never belonged in. It'll be a bumpy ride folks!**

**Extremely OOC.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE:**

**TURBULENCE**

_"We think we are different_

_But we all share the same lives_

_That teaches us the same lessons of love_

_Not just loving someone else_

_But loving yourself."_

* * *

**BELLA POV : **

"Mike, you need to stop with that crap." I chastise disapprovingly, failing to keep my curious eyes from seeking his out. He seems to be back to his degenerate hobbies again, and I already don't like the mood that dealing with these drugs has put him in.

"Shut up, Bella." He hardly gives my censure any mind, spreading the small baggie of weed out on the coffee table that separates us. His tone is undoubtedly irate. I watch the way his brows scrunch in frustration. "This is some fucking bullshit."

"What's wrong?" I ask, surveying the crumbles of greenery as if I could spot some type of fault in the quality of it. I know less about marijuana than I even know about the reason why Mike wastes his time with the stuff. It is incredibly potent. The distinct aroma lingers in the air and will alert his mom of her son's debauchery as soon as she walks through the front door. Though the quality seems correct, there is something else that has obviously upset him.

"I paid thirty-five dollars for this." Mike looks up, his brows are still strained with displeasure, an unmistakable violence awakening in his eyes. "I knew that bag felt light. That bastard ripped me off."

"Who'd you buy it from?" There are a lot of people who dabble in the art of selling and buying drugs. I tend to stay clear away from that crowd of people however. Partly because my father is chief of the town's police department, but mostly because those are the type of people who you just don't want to get involved with.

They're ruthless, and violent, and can't be trusted. Every time you look around someone is getting mugged or beat up by someone who runs with that bunch. They're always getting arrested and causing the town chaos. Gang violence is one of the number one reasons for crime in Forks now.

"Eric sold it to me yesterday." He snatches the baggie off of the table and begins scooping the bits of weed back into its plastic concealer, taking great care not to knock any of it onto the floor. His parents would have a fit if they were to catch him. They are both well-off lawyers and expect nothing less than exemplary behavior from their prodigal son. I think that is one of the reasons why Mike tries so hard to rebel. He hates living the structured life his parents have mapped out for him. "Do you still have his number in your phone?"

I nod my head, allowing the faintest hint of apprehension to dance across my facial expression.

"Text him and tell him to come over here." Mike shoves the baggie back into his pocket, casting me a wry sideways glance when he sees my hesitation. "And don't tell him that I'm here. Tell him I went to the store or something."

I'm slightly lost for words, opening my mouth to decline his request, but nothing actually comes out. Mike's unrestrained outbursts of anger intimidate me. Being his girlfriend gets me no special treatment with him. I've learned that just going along with what he wants is best, but sometimes I have to put my foot down and draw a line somewhere.

I refuse to be the pawn between him and Eric. That will only weaken the ties that I have with Eric and he happens to be one of my really good friends.

"Well, what the fuck are you waiting for?" Mike asks impatiently, focusing the steel of his ice-blue eyes on me. The intensity inside of his gaze makes my moral determination falter. I'd rather see Eric on the receiving end of Mike's wrath than myself. "Are you going to do what I asked you to do?"

"What are you going to do to him when he gets here?"

"Why are you suddenly so concerned about Yorkie?" His eyes narrow slightly, I notice the frightening possessiveness around the contours of his stern expression at once. "Are you fucking him Bella?"

I scoff at his crude accusation, no one in Forks has enough gall to even look at me the wrong way. Everyone knows that I belong with Michael Newton. They respect him and they respect that fact. Eric is quite possibly the last person he has to worry about straying my attention away from him. He's spineless.

I guess that is something we both have in common.

"You still didn't answer my question." He grabs my face between his hands forcibly, not putting much effort into making his actions gentle. I think he likes to see people cowering underneath him. It gives him a power surge, an ego boost, a sense of self-worth. "Are you forgetting that your pussy belongs to me?"

I close my eyes, hoping that when I'm forced to reopen them Mike won't be staring into me so indignantly. He wasn't always like that. I remember a time when Mike was sweet and innocently endearing. We'd been infatuated with each other all the way through grade school and junior high, but we did not officially start dating until we became freshmen. He'd been the perfect boyfriend at first and all the girls resented me for his faithfulness.

He didn't become this person until the middle of sophomore year, and I have absolutely no idea where the transformation came from. It started with him missing significant amounts of school, then the thing with him frequently losing his temper began, he got into smoking and going to parties, and before I knew it he was a completely different person.

"Tell me." He demands, and I am slightly taken aback by his tone. "Tell me that it's mine."

"It's yours." I mumble quietly, barely even audible against the silent background that encompasses us. I do not like being objectified by Mike, but I've also learned that it's not at all about what I like. Keeping Mike happy is first and foremost.

"No, open those pretty, brown eyes." He insists, running the back of his hand along my warm cheek. His touch is soft and it forces my heart to beep quite rapidly. "Look at me and tell me that it's mine."

Mike and I are not so different. I've come to understand that our similarities are what attracts us and not our opposites. My mother and father divorced when I was a little girl. Renee moved back to Florida with her mother and Charlie got us a comfortable home in Forks.

Over the years, he's kept a very good eye on me. School and responsibilities have always come first, values and abiding the laws are my oaths, and living above the influence has been stuffed down my throat since I hit puberty. I guess growing up in such a strict household has made me crave thrill in some way or another. I'm not allowed to go to parties, I'm barely allowed out on school days, and Church is a must every Sunday morning.

While I don't appreciate Mike's domineering behavior when he takes it too far, I have to admit that knowing he can easily dominate me gives me an adrenaline rush like no other.

My cheeks deeply redden, the tingly feelings in the pit of my stomach spread through me, and my eyes lock onto his accordingly. I peer up at him coyly and through a fringe of dark lashes. I can tell he likes this because the corner of his mouth twitches.

"It yours." I say this surely, relishing in the way he can make me feel so alive.

"That's a good girl." He commends appreciatively, he presses his lips to mines for a brief kiss. "Now do what I told you to do."

With an effortless release, my will is gone. "Alright." He is a manipulator and I know I'm probably only valuable for his entertainment.

But that doesn't stop me at all.

**...**

An hour later Eric is knocking on Mike's front door, unaware of the wrathful boy that's awaiting his well-anticipated entrance.

Mike is on top of me, disheveled and aggressive. He's attacking my mouth with a ferocity that is stemmed from his previous irritation. We're sprawled out across his mother's posh white sofa, and he's nestled right between my legs where I want him to be.

The knock on the door distracts Mike and he pulls away from me. I am immediately disappointed and I want to pull him back. I have better sense than to complain about it though. The door is unlocked and Eric finds his way into a situation he had not been prepared for.

"Hey Bella." He sees me first, sitting on the couch breathlessly and swollen-lipped. Mike is on the other side of the wall waiting for him to take the first few steps into the house. "What did you call me over fo..."

Eric does not get to finish his sentence before Mike has rushed into him and knocked all of the breath out of his lungs. Mike shoves him against the wall violently, they're supposed to friends but I see no evidence of this now. He is pinned against the wall by Mike's strong arms.

Wide-eyed and startled, he tries to shake his head. "Bro, what the fuck did I do?"

"Give me back my fucking money." Mike snarls viciously, widening Eric's fearful eyes even more. "Or I swear to fucking..."

"I don't have it!" Eric says quickly, casting his panicked eyes in my direction. It's obvious that I helped Mike set him up. There isn't much accusation on his face. I think he knows how domineering Mike can be when it comes to getting his way. I still send him a very apologetic look.

"What do you mean you don't have it?" Mike shoves him into the wall harder. Eric's back welcomes the hard, granite wall warmly. A whoosh of expelled air follows the brute impact. "Who the fuck did you give it to?"

"I got the weed from Jasper Hale." He explains quickly, innocently shaking his head. "I gave him the money."

"So, Cullen and his boys are up to no good again?"

The mention of the name "Cullen" immediately sends an alarm off in my head. Mike may have a reputation of being a trouble maker but that is nothing compared to Edward Cullen and his gang. Edward is the most volatile person that I've ever known of. He's hot-tempered and explosive, he has mercilessly beaten people who've approached him the wrong way, and he's from the deep burrows of Kirkland, Washington.

That is the most dangerous part of Washington state alone, where the crime rate is uncharted and steadily rising. Only the most daring of people venture out of the safe boundary lines that Forks set to meet up with the risks that Kirkland indisputably provides.

Forks is the wealthier side of Washington. It is where all of the doctors, lawyers, and real estate agents live. This is where the kids from Kirkland would live if their lives were just a little bit less misfortunate.

Edward Cullen and his gang go to school in Kirkland. Since most of the high schools down there are losing their accreditation however, the two towns have made an agreement to let some of Kirkland's students attend Fork's High for half a day. This makes sure they'll have just as much of an equal chance of graduating as we do.

"I've got a few words for him when I see him tomorrow." Mike says threateningly, releasing Eric from his stoic grip.

Eric looks rather relieved of the fact that Mike has planned to direct his anger elsewhere, but equally horrified that Mike thinks he has enough nerve to approach Edward Cullen.

"Are you out of your mind?" I question curiously, there is no way in hell that Mike will end up leaving with the results he wants. If Edward Cullen doesn't beat him near to death, then the members of his crew sure will. "You're going to get yourself murdered."

"Your confidence in me is astonishing." Mike says this sarcastically, a little bit of irritation lacing his tone at the thought of someone thinking he is able to be beaten in any way. I do not want to agree with him just to pacify his ego. Souping his head up about this particular thing can seriously get him hurt with people like Edward Cullen. "Do you think I'm afraid?"

"It's not the matter of being afraid." I try to reason with him, hoping vainly that some of this might sink into his head. "You just have to think about what could happen."

"Do you think Edward's going to beat my ass?" He scoffs at the absurdity of this, I look towards Eric for help but he remains as silent as I knew he would.

"Mike, they're not people to be toyed around with." That is true. I've heard that their gang has killed people before. Of course I can't be sure if this is the truth or not, but from what I have seen of them in person it's definitely not that hard to believe.

"Bella, listen to me." I can tell that he is getting offended now. His tone is indicating that this is the end of theconversation. It's his decision to make and not mine. "I don't give a fuck about that shit. They're not about to play me for some damn fool and get away with it."

"They're gonna know that I told you." Eric says suddenly, fearing how this will affect him. Cullen and his boys have been known to jump people. It's a vengeance and respect thing. They've established themselves as the "all high" around Forks. Of course, there are other gangs around here that challenge them. La Push, Forks, and Kirkland have all been disputing since the dawn of time. But no one has ever been able to trample over Kirkland.

They have what seems like the widest expansion of black market customers, they have the largest gang in the state, and they have claimed ownership of territory that is not just limited to their part of town.

Mike doesn't need to get into that mess, and he definitely shouldn't jeopardize anyone else because of his brashness.

"Yeah, so what? You're my boy." Mike says, slapping his hand down on Eric's back in encouragement. I see nothing but the wincing fear that has caught ahold of Eric's expression. "You think I'm going to let anything happen to you? I got your back."

"Mike maybe you shouldn't try to appro..."

"Did I ask for your opinion?" And just like that Mike pushes him away in frustration. "I'm going to make all of my doubters see that I'm not afraid of shit."

"You don't have to prove anything." I try one last time to assure him that this plan needs to be abandoned. My words are futile. He brushes me off quite easily.

"I'll show you Bella." He nods his sandy-brown head, smiling in what seems to be some sort of brute determination. "I'm the one who shouldn't be toyed with."

...

The next day when Mike picks me up for school I do not mention what he planned to do last night. Maybe he slept on it and decided that it was a shitty idea. I am secretly delighted that neither does he bring up the subject. We ride in a comfortable silence that I openly invite.

We make it into the school just before breakfast is ending. Mike walks me to my locker where all of our friends have gathered around. Eric, Tyler, Angela, Jessica, and Lauren all greet us accordingly. We sort of make up the in-crowd that's associated with our school. It's a very pretentious thing to ponder upon. I don't complain about it though, because everyone knows that my association with Mike is the only reason I am even welcomed to be a part of it.

"What's up, bro?" Mike greets Tyler and Eric cheerily, this is a first. He's usually not so friendly in the morning. "Did you get my text last night?"

"About Cullen?" Tyler asks curiously, cocking his dark brows in curiosity.

My heart just about drops into the pit of my stomach at the sound of this. I had hoped that all of this talk about approaching Cullen would blow over. It seems that Mike is still severely determined to get his point across. He wants to be glorified and I think that it's a very stupid price to pay for superficial veneration.

"What about Cullen?" Jessica asks excitedly, she is not able to restrain her profound interest in him, her intrigue revealing itself in the brightening of her face. "What has he done now?"

"Damn Jessica, could you be any more desperate?" Mike snaps crossly, frowning at her obvious enchantment. It's been a known fact since Edward Cullen emerged from Kirkland that Jessica has wanted to wear him on her arm, much to the detestation of Edward's current girlfriend Tanya Denali. "Close your fucking mouth and stop drooling."

Jessica knows her place. She glowers at Mike with baleful eyes, but her only response is the curt crossing of her arms.

I have to stifle a chuckle at her expense.

"So, you're still going on with this ridiculous plan?" I ask unenthusiastically, knowing that if he hasn't changed his mind by now then he never will.

"What ridiculous plan?" Lauren questions curiously, but less erratic than Jessica had been. She looks completely past me and focuses her startling blue eyes upon Mike instead. "And why wasn't I briefed about this?"

Mike only offers her a slight chuckle, lifting his shoulders in an act of pure nonchalance. "Edward had his boy Jasper rip me off. I'm gonna get my money back."

I watch all of their eyes widen with the content of his words. It is the same reaction that he received from me and Eric last night. They all think that he has lost his mind. They won't dare step out of line though. Their mouths remain shut and their true opinions kept to themselves.

"Well, you know that I'll hold it down for you." Tyler says with some kind of psuedo representation of loyalty. "If any of his boys try to jump in I got you."

"And I just want that bitch Tanya to try something." Jessica adds in, rolling her eyes indignantly at the thought of the blond-haired vixen.

"See, that's what I like to hear." Mike nods his shaggy head, confident in all of his vices. I still think that he should reconsider but I'd be wasting my breath if I spoke it into existence one more time. "We got this one. No need to worry Bella."

That does not stop me from worrying at all. I try to push it to the back of my mind as Mike walks me to my first period class, and for the most part I keep myself stress free all the way through English.

By time I get to my second class of the day however, the halls are teeming with rumors about the notorious beef against Mike Newton and Edward Cullen. Gossip spreads so quickly around the suffocating halls of this dismal school building. It is the only way these spoiled, rich kids can get some excitement into their lives.

They take simple stories, twist and mar them until they are ugly scandals, and take fun in defacing someone's reputation and social status. It's a sad truth that I try my hardest not to get involved in. Try as I may, I am still subjected to listen to it if it happens to float near me. When lunch comes around I can not believe what these people have already begun to spin the truth into.

_Mike is going to fight Edward Cullen because he found out Edward was flirting with Bella..._

_ Edward Cullen stole five hundred dollars from Mike so now they're going to fight..._

_Jessica Stanley slept with Edward Cullen now Tanya wants revenge..._

The students from Kirkland do not arrive at our school until the second half of school begins. That means they spend the first four hours at their respective schools. Which ultimately means, they arrive just in time to catch lunch here.

I am not surprised to feel the eyes that linger on Jess, Lauren, and I when we enter the cafe. Being associated with Mike inadvertently renders us all part of the supposed conflict. We head over to the lunch line to grab something to eat before we take our spots at the table.

We always sit in the same place every year. People know that it is our table. Only the exclusively invited are allowed to sit with us.

"Everyone is staring at us." Jessica mentions the obvious, as if we can't feel the heat of the entranced eyes that are boring into our backs. "Even Cullen is looking this way."

"They must have heard the gossip as soon as they walked into the building." Lauren comments offhandedly, pushing green leaves of salad around her plate.

I perk up at this news but not with excitement. My eyes lift up to seek out the secluded table near the big, bay windows that overlook the picnic area outside. They are like us. They sit in the same spot everyday and no one dares to try and join their covenant.

It consists of Jasper and Rosalie Hale, Garrett Pattinson, Peter and Victoria Nomad, Emmett McCarty, the Denali sisters, Alice Brandon, and none other than Edward himself. They omit an aura of aloofness. It tells most people to stay away from them. They're not a force to be reckoned with. But some people don't like their haughty attitudes and that leads to senseless disputes.

Where Cullen and his crew always ends up on top.

Jessica is not lying when she says that Edward is looking over here. His eyes are unmistakably green and directed upon the three of us. The boys have not arrived yet and maybe that is who he's waiting for. Tanya Denali is sitting beside him and her mouth is moving slowly. It's evident that she is talking but from across the room I cannot hear what she is saying.

Eventually, she looks up at Edward and realizes that he is not paying her very much attention. She hits his chest in irritation before she turns to see what has him so entranced. Her piercing eyes narrow slightly upon mine but she quickly smirks, as if she knows something incredibly funny that I do not. She makes Edward look at her and presses her mouth against his with a protective confidence that practically leaks out of her pores.

"Damn she's one lucky girl." Jessica sighs, alerting me that I am not the only one amazed with how aggressive they are with each other. "If only I had one night with him."

"You wouldn't even know what to do with him." Lauren teases playfully, but underneath her smile is a challenge. That is what the in-crowd is all about. It teaches girls to be competitors against each other. Even though you're friends, when you're popular, you all secretly hate each other. "I bet he fucks Tanya so good."

My breath catches at that and I don't know why. Before I can ponder it, Mike and the boys walk through the double doors. All attention is on them now. Some of Edward's crew even stop what they're doing to watch them meander towards our table. Mike doesn't make any moves so I guess they're planning on waiting until school is over to approach Cullen. Maybe by the end of the day someone will have talked some sense into Mike.

That's rather unlikely now that he has an audience though. Now he has a reputation to live up to. He can't have people seeing him back down. This is all about his ego. It has nothing to do with the thirty-five dollars. Money doesn't mean anything to Mike. He's just putting on one big show. It irks me how impossibly shallow he is. Sometimes I wish that he'd see what the important things in life really are.

"Hey Bella." He greets me with a pleasant kiss to the cheek, he takes the seat next to me that is inexclusively reserved for him. "How's class?"

I tell him about my day. I like this part of him. There are still some pieces of his old self left somewhere in the remains of what he is now. That is what I like to tell myself when I question why I stick with him. He's still the only person who really listens to what I have to say. I'll always appreciate that out of him.

"So, I heard people talking in the restroom." Lauren taps Mike's shoulder to get his attention, I cannot help sagging inside of my chair with irritation. It is almost as if I am entirely forgotten. Lauren and whatever she has to say about Edward is now his first priority. That really pisses me off. Especially since I know Lauren likes to purposely snatch the spotlight from people. She's an attention whore. The very definition of it.

"What were they saying?" I roll my eyes at his supreme display of interest. There's nothing she can say that we all haven't heard already.

"Jasper's been saying that he gave you that short bag of weed on purpose." Lauren nods her dirty-blond head, pushing back the frizzy bangs that keep falling into her face. "You know he's still put out about that stunt Tyler tried with Alice Brandon."

"It's not like they're dating." Tyler defended angrily, recalling the way Jasper had approached him last week.

There was a party last Friday night at Jacob Black's house. He lives in La Push but everyone around Washington knows him. He's a party boy and no one misses any of his renowned rendezvous. Of course Charlie had not allowed me to attend. I only know the story through what others have told me.

Tyler was supposedly a little more than tipsy when he'd approached Alice Brandon for a dance. I guess she said yeah to his advances. He could be charming when he wanted to be. So they went to the dance floor and started doing their thing. Knowing Tyler, I wasn't surprised to hear that he'd taken their dancing too far. Apparently, he started touching Alice in a very inappropriate manner and grasped her too roughly for Jasper's liking.

There was no talking, just a swift punch to the jaw, and a threat to stay away from Alice if he knew what was good for him. Since Mike rolls with Tyler, I guess Jasper gave him the short bag to spite them both. In this world, people are guilty by association. If one person doesn't like someone in a group, then all of that person's friends don't like them either, and they also don't like anyone else that is in that group or associated with that group.

"Yeah, but you know how they are." Angela replies, referring to Edward Cullen and his crew. "They're all freakishly protective of each other."

"Fuck them." Mike frowns, raking a hand through his light hair. He is blonde-haired and blue-eyed. He's the epitome of what the all-american-boy should look like. The outside however, doesn't mean anything. It's the intense dominance that bakes his nerves on the inside. That's who he really is. "We'll have our time."

"When the last bell rings." Tyler agrees, eager to redeem himself from last week's humiliation. The gossip about that had just died down before this new dispute brought it back to consciousness.

Eric and I share apprehensive looks with each other. We are apparently the only level headed ones in this situation. Lauren probably can't care any less about all of this, Angela's just going along with it because she likes to stay on Mike's good side, and Jessica is egging it on because she has more than a few unfavorable feelings towards Tanya.

The next four hours drag on. I find myself watching the clocks on the walls more than not. There is big anticipation about what's said to happen when school lets out. People are making wagers on who the winner of the fight will be like this is some exciting ordeal that should be encouraged.

When my last class ends, I grab my items and hurry out of the class room. I have to get my things out of my locker and quickly run to the restroom, before I make my way out to the courtyard where Mike and the others will undoubtedly be waiting.

"Bella your boyfriend is gonna get his ass kicked." A random girl says nastily, she saunters up to me while I am washing my hands in the restroom. I think I recognize her from the junior class or something. Not that I care. She is utterly and totally irrelevant. "You should have advised him to stay inside of his lane."

"Oh yeah, well I advise you... " I turn to face this chick, hands secure on my hips, with the "bitch face" fully intact. "To suck it easy and stay in _your_ lane."

With that I leave her. I don't know why I even bother to defend Mike's foolishness. It's not like I support what he's doing. It's definitely not like that girl hadn't been telling the truth. I make it outside where Mike and the others are gathered around his car.

Everyone else is lingering around to act as the speculators. Usually, we're all fighting to speed out of the parking lot. Today people are ready to see some action. They have nothing better to do with their lives than see a stupid, nonsensical fight. Tomorrow the gossip will be flooding the school with the results of today's dispute.

"Where are they?" I ask curiously, scanning the courtyard for any sign of them. They'd be pretty hard to miss. They stick out against us. We can tell that they're different just by looking at them. It's not prejudice. It's just the way it is.

"We're waiting for them." Mike answers, deep voiced and concentrated. All I see is a haughty boy when I look at him, but there is a small bead of sweat gathering at the edge of his brows. The people around him don't make him less confident in his abilities, but their eyes do make his level of anticipation rise.

"Oh, wait!" Angela taps my shoulders excitedly, I don't know what's fueling her energy up so high. What we are about to witness will not be pretty. At all. "There they go."

They're just now exiting the entrance doors, talking amongst each other without a worry in the world. None of them seem perturbed. Mike is a threat that they easily flick off of their shoulders. They know no one can beat them. They know they're the only ones who actually deserve to be haughty.

Edward and Tanya walk in the front. They're hand in hand and looking more fierce than any two people I've ever seen. Alice is skipping along the side of Tanya, Jasper meanders on the other side of Edward, and the others easily fall in line behind them.

Edward spots Mike and he does nothing. His greens eyes liven with mischief and a small smirk adorns the corner of his lips. Everyone's eyes follow Edward and his crew as they trail over to their cars. They have to drive a Volvo and a Jeep to fit all of them. That is where they post up.

Edward leans against his silver automobile and Tanya leans against him. Everyone else finds a place. They're waiting for us to approach. I know this when Edward arches his eyebrow in Mike's direction. He lights a cigarette and wraps his right arm around Tanya's slender torso.

This is the moment I see Mike realize that he cannot turn back now.

We do what we're supposed to do. We follow Mike's trek. Our eyes lock with theirs. We're rivals even though this is not our fight.

Tanya squints her feline gaze at me in an unabashed humor. Strawberry-blond curls sit against her fair skin like fine silk. She is beautifully ferocious and I find that to be the most intimidating thing about her.

We stop a few feet away from them. I feel that dangerous aura radiating between us all. They don't react to our presences. In fact, they give us little to no active response. Edward merely cocks his head to the side with curiosity.

"What do you want, Newton?" Edward is naturally the first one to speak, his voice is flat with boredom. The rich, deep tones that vibrate from within his throat marginally widens my eyes. I have never been this close to him or any of them for that matter. He is so much more appealing up close than from the clipped glances I get of him from time to time.

His hair is sun-kissed and bronzed. It's messy and effortlessly falls around his head in many different directions. The vivid color stands out against the starkness of his ivory skin. Despite his pale pallor, I can see a ghostly trail of freckles collecting around his nose. His eyes are dark green and heavily lidded, with eyelashes so thick and black that it seems like he is always looking out from under them. His facial structure is sharp and prominent. He's all cuts and angles with plump lips and a slightly crooked nose. He's toned and slender, lanky even, but not lacking muscle definition. Tanya is a lucky girl. Even though she's every bit of gorgeous as he is handsome. They're made for each other.

"My bag was short Cullen." Mike's voice is clipped, he keeps his expression stormy. It doesn't seem to be working effectively. Edward is unphased and it shows in the way he shrugs his shoulder so dismissively.

He takes a drag from the cigarette. The ultimate disrespect would have been to blow the smoke right into our faces, but he simply tilts his head back and lets the sky have it.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

It's pretty evident that he does. The smug look behind his neutral mask is not hard to see. Even Tanya's lip curls with arrogance. Mike does not like this at all.

"Look Edward, just give me my money back." He makes this proposition slovenly, tilting his head with a darkness that would have made anyone else cower. "And there won't be any problems."

"No Newton, you look..." Edward has lost all pretenses of being cordial. It only takes one second for me to see that all of the small talk had been an act. Edward is not patient and he definitely does not like people approaching him so boldly. His eyes darken, not the color of them, but the intense emotion behind them. "I'm going to give you a chance to walk away and I'll try to forget that this ever happened."

"Fuck you." Mike snaps, taking another step forward. This is when Edward unwraps his arm around Tanya's torso. She steps over to the right, out of Edward's way, as if that was her cue to ease away from the danger zone. "You ripped me off."

"Jasper how much did he give you?" Edward turns his head slightly, to look at his blond-haired friend.

The boy has a collage of different shades of gold running through the curls that sit upon his head. His eyes are violet colored and almond shaped. He shares a striking resemblance with his sister Rosalie. They are identical twins but different genders. It doesn't make him look more feminine, or her look more masculine. There is a beautiful balance between both of them. They too, along with Edward and Tanya, are undeniably attractive.

"He gave me thirty-five." Jasper's voice is husky and tinted with a southern drawl. "And I gave him 3.5 grams."

"See, that's fair." Edward smiles crookedly, in a way that is completely mocking. He knows that Jasper didn't give Mike all of the weed he paid for, but he's not going to give him his money back. That much is evident.

"He didn't give me 3.5 grams. There was no more than a dime bag's worth in that bundle." Mike is beginning to lose his temper now. He's red-faced and steaming, and it's all because his plan is not working. Edward is barely giving him a reaction. Now he looks like an idiot, and he still isn't getting his money back.

"Are you calling Jasper a liar?" Edward asks, watching the way Mike fumes with ease. I think he's getting some sort of enjoyment out of this. "Jasper's one of the most noble dealers I've got."

"Just give him his money back." Jessica snaps at him readily, which inadvertently sets Tanya off.

"You need to keep your fucking mouth shut." Tanya takes a couple of heated steps towards Jessica, ready to pounce at any second. She reminds me of a python. Everything about her is cold-blooded. "This is between Edward and Newton. You don't have anything to do with it."

Edward takes Tanya by her arm and pulls her back to his side. "Easy tiger." He smirks at the menacing look that she is directing towards Jessica.

My friend effectively shuts up.

"I'm going to ask you one more time." Mike growls, ready to threaten Edward once again. He's not given the appropriate opportunity to finish his sentence.

"And I'm going to tell you one more time..." I know that Edward is for real about this, the green of his irises flicker towards me. He smiles lightly at my unease and my breath catches in the middle of throat. "You can leave now before I show your girl what's really under that false bravado you wear so well."

I don't exactly know what triggers him. Maybe it's the taunting gleam in Edward's eye. Or maybe it's the fact that Edward mentioned me. I don't know. But whatever it was, it drives Mike to throw the first blow. He catches Edward directly in the nose. Edward stumbles back from the force of the impact, and blood begins to fall from his nostrils like a waterfall.

I hear the gasps of surprise from the crowd that surrounds us, I see Edward's crew stand a little firmer in case they are willed to jump in, and I see the instant surge of gratification that crosses Mike's face.

Until Edward tackles him onto the ground and all hell breaks loose...

I only get to catch a brief glimpse of what Mike's face looks like after being forced onto the ground, before Edward's fists are covering it with powerful punches. The blow that Mike had previously thrown looks incredibly futile compared to what Edward is dishing out. He moves with lightening fast precision and he doesn't break a sweat. It's because this is what he's been doing for years. He's a delinquent. Fighting is all he knows.

At this point, the crowd is shouting and cheering in excitement. Jessica steps towards the quarrel as if she intends on trying to break it up, but Tanya matches her steps and shakes her head. Indicating that if Jessica gets involved it's not going to end well for her. She takes the hint and steps back with the rest of us who can do nothing but watch as Mike struggles to throw Edward's lumbering body off of him.

I don't know where I get my voice from. It had been stuck in my throat since Edward had flashed that devilish smile at me.

"Edward..._STOP_!" I scream loudly, desperately, but not daring to get remotely closer to where they are scrambling. "Please _STOP_!"

As if my voice breaks him out of his pugnacious rage, he actually stops his maneuvers and looks up at me precariously. Our gazes seem to lock in that instant. I become entranced with him and I can't make myself look away. I see the darkness inside of him leaking out of the holes that Mike's faulty bravery has poked against his armor. Everything about him is dangerous and risky. In that second, his eyes show me all of the depth and truth than any rumor about him ever did. He can hurt me so easily, and truthfully, not halfheartedly like Mike. He is the real deal and my heart speeds up at the way his eyes drink me in.

"Edward, look out!" Tanya's high-pitched voice pulls both of us out of the haze, this is when Mike successfully breaks free of Edward's entrapment and forces him onto the wet pavement. Mike gets a few good hits in before the school's security guard is able to make his way through the horde of rioted students to stop the fight.

When the two are pulled away from each other, it is easy to see who got the upper hand in the fight. Their faces are stark contrasts.

Mike's left eye is swollen shut and purple, his top lip is split, his entire face is red, and there is a huge knot on his forehead. Edward on the other hand, is almost totally unscathed. The left side of his jaw is swollen and there is dried blood underneath is nose but nothing more than that.

"I knew it was a bad idea to let these Kirkland kids into our schools." Officer Clearwater says disapprovingly, standing in between Edward and Mike as he hones his walkie-talkie. "All you ever do is start trouble."

"What?!" Tanya exclaims, voice rising the same amount of octaves her frustration does. It is easy to see that the officer has offended her. Her expression warps into an indignant scowl that does nothing to diminish her beauty. "We're the ones who were attacked!"

"That's a lie!" Mike counters quite believably, even though he is lying through his teeth. "They gang-banged us."

This starts a chaotic argument between the members of Edward's crew and my ego-wounded friends. Everyone is yelling over each other to get their word in, the officer keeps snapping his head from left to right so he can hear both stories, and the crowd behind us is still jumping around and rooting rambunctiously.

Edward is oddly the only person who does not defend himself.

"I'm tired of the ridiculous shenanigans you Kirkland kids keep causing. This time when you get suspended we're sending you away for good. Back where you belong. Back with all of your failing schools. And this time we're getting the police involved."

"We were standing over here minding our own business." Tanya explains loudly, though the disrespectful attitude she is giving makes it hard for the officer to want to take her side. "When this idiot brought his band of followers over to stir up some trouble."

"All I wanted to do was talk." Mike says this earnestly, and Tanya's mouth drops in awe as she watches the officer drink in his story. It all has to do with reputation and the side of the tracks that you come from. They're on the unlucky end and Mike is using his "rich boy" card to his advantage. "Ask Bella. Her dad is the Chief. She'd never lie about something like this."

His eyes turn towards me and I instantly shrink back. I definitely do not like being put onto the spot. It makes me extremely uncomfortable. Now either I have to lie to stay loyal to my boyfriend, or tell the truth and ultimately betray his trust.

"Is it true Bella?" Officer Clearwater asks carefully, glancing down at me with appraising eyes. He looks level and understanding. "Did Edward and his friends start the fight or not?"

I am struck without my voice for a few seconds.

Tanya's piercing eyes lay upon mines. They are fueled with a hatred I've never seen before. Mike is looking at me impatiently. His swollen face is swallowed with frustration. Everyone else is looking at me with similar expressions. They're all curious and waiting to see what I'll say.

Edward is the only one who has this unique sort of look on his face. His brows are furrowed, his lips are pursed, and his head is tilted just marginally in my direction. He's looking at me with a wry expectancy, as if he knows I'm going to lie on him. He's looking at me like he knows exactly who I am, like he can see my weaknesses, like it disgusts him.

"Bella?" Clearwater nudges my shoulder lightly, my gaze drops from Edward's and meet his dull one instead. "Are you going to answer the question?"

I look down into my hands, shaking my head. "Not."

"What?" He asks incredulously, stepping forward to hear me more clearer.

I sigh to myself, disturbed that I have to say it again. I don't dare look at Mike's face, any of friends, or anyone that is in the crowd.

"We approached them. An argument broke out. Mike threw the first punch."

"I see." It is clear to see that he did not want to hear me admit that. He would have much rather liked an excuse to send the Kirkland kids back to their town, than to condemn some of our own. "I guess we'll settle this tomorrow morning then. Be on your way."

This is our cue to depart and everyone effectively disperses. The show is over. Mike lost. Edward won. I'm a traitor.

No one says anything to me on our way over to Mike's car. They are all pissed off and with very good reason. I don't even know why I didn't just lie. It would have been a lot easier than dealing with the cold shoulders and strange stares that I'm going to be getting for the next couple of weeks.

But it was the way Edward had stared at me...

We begin to get inside of Mike's car. Everyone is robotically moving. Before I take my side in the passengers seat, I look back across the lot once more. Edward is not the one I find staring at me like I would have expected. He is over to the side with Tanya, she's touching his face with her soft fingers and kissing his sore spots.

The person that is looking my way is his cousin Alice Brandon. She is a short, little thing with inky black hair. It's delicate, and wavy, and falls to her shoulders freely. All of her features are soft and pretty. She has green eyes that mirror his but they are not nearly as intense.

There is something inside of them though. A glint that shows itself to me when her lips tug into a smile. I am confused but even though it is brief, I know that her smile is meant for me. That is all she offers me before she turns around and joins the rest of her group.

I rejoin my group.

_And then we're all back to our respective lives. Our very different lives..._

* * *

**Additional Author note :**

**I want to state that in order to make the story line work I have reconstructed the map of Washington State. The geographic aspects are not all accurate as some of you who've visited Washington may now. The way Kirkland and Forks are designed in this fic is fictional and on my behalf.**


	2. Anxiety

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* * *

**CHAPTER 2:**

**ANXIETY**

_"We only think that we're different_

_Because we weren't given the same eyes to see_

_The flowers look vibrant to you_

_They look dull to me_

_Well maybe your vision is just getting worse you say_

_No, my vision only speaks the truth._

_It gets clearer each day."_

* * *

"I don't even know what to say to you." Mike shakes his head angrily, his voice is quiet and he's failing to contain himself. This is one of those scenarios where a person gets mad for the wrong reason and in the wrong way. I told him not to waste his time challenging Edward Cullen. It's nobody's fault but his that he got his ass handed to him. "You really surprised me back there."

"What did you expect me to do?" I question, in a tone that is unmistakably derogatory. I am irate with him for good reasons. He brought all of us into a humiliating spotlight that none of us wanted to posses in the first place, except maybe Tyler and Jessica. "Clearwater was threatening to send them to jail. There was nothing they did wrong!"

He slams his fist down onto the steering wheel, "Does my fucking face look like nothing to you?"

I flinch back at his display of anger, feeling the blood and heat leak out of me at once. My heart skips a couple of beats. Mike has only gotten angry enough to put his hands on me once, and then he'd apologized to me profusely afterwards.

It had been one of those times when he'd accused me of flirting with another guy. We'd gotten into a big argument over it, one that I had found trite and had no interest engaging in. I tried to walk away from him but he'd yanked me back by my shirt and tossed me to the ground. I guess he hadn't been thinking when he'd smacked me. It had been a quick and unconscious maneuver, but it stung all the same. I would never forget what I saw on his face when I'd looked up at him incredulously. There was a sick satisfaction there before the remorse showed itself.

A lingering moment of hesitation sits with me before I find the nerve to reply, "You approached them. You're the one who wanted to fight."

"I just wanted my fucking money back." He's not really all that upset that I told the truth. He's more upset with the fact that Edward Cullen tarnished his ego in front of everyone. He'll no longer be seen as unbeatable, he'll no longer be fearfully respected, and even though only a legend like Edward Cullen was able to take him down, people will start trying their luck by challenging him more often.

It'll take him awhile to build his reputation back up. That is how high school works. It is stupid and a waste of time to me. But for people like Mike, being idolized is the only thing that makes life worth living.

"That's bullshit Mike." I call him out even though it is against my better judgement. I know that I am walking on thin ice with him now. "What the hell does thirty-five dollars mean to you?"

"That's isn't the fact that has me pissed. It's the principle Bella. Cullen thinks he can just disrespect me by taking what's mine." He sneers Cullen's name out of his mouth, as if the mere taste of it is revolting. There is darkness crinkling around the edge of his eyes and I can see that this beef between them is not yet over.

Mike is the one to hold grudges. He's also not the one to admit to defeat. He's going to hold this against Cullen for as long as he can. His egocentricity won't let him give up. Edward is unaware that he's just made this the funnest game ever for Mike.

"You want thirty-five dollars? I can give you thirty-five dollars. Maybe then you'll drop the charade." I shake my head at his absurdity, if he lost once what makes him think that he'll win the second time. He just needs to admit it to himself. He's no match for Edward. It's not like he's the only one whose gotten beaten up by Edward or his crew. He falls right in line with the rest of the sorry ones. "You lost Mike. It's over now. What would blaming them have done but added more fuel to the fire?"

"Why do you always take everyone's side but mines?" Mike turns his gaze away from the window he'd been peering out of, it's foggy and the condensation has gathered on the cool glass like whispered moisture.

"You're not always right Mike." I meet his battered blue eyes with warm brown sincerity, this is something that he needs to hear from someone that actually cares about his well-being.

He looks away from me without an ounce of understanding. "Get out."

I am shocked to hear him say this. My eyes widen and I have to ask him to repeat himself to make sure I'd heard it correctly the first time. "Excuse me?"

He does not skip a beat. He turns the key in the ignition and his eyes are ice cold when they land on mine again. "I said get the fuck out."

"But..." I open my mouth, finding that there are no words coming out. I have to look away from the harsh apathy that keeps rewriting itself across his face. "I don't want to leave like this."

"What?" He questions gruffly, frowning as he leans closer to make out what I'd just whispered so weakly.

"I don't want to leave like this." I say again, louder this time. Looking up at him with pleading eyes. "I hate walking away when we're upset with each other."

"Then make it up to me." His face is hard and challenging. Something thrilling seeps into the pit of my stomach. The danger he omits is both unsettling and erotic.

"How?" I ask curiously, tilting my head to the side. Dark hair falls over my face. This is the best way that I know how to be sexy. Mike understands this because his lips purse in appreciation.

"Get in the back seat." He orders blatantly, flattening his tone into indifference. This is still a challenge. He likes to act like he wouldn't care if I refused or if I agreed. "If you want to make it up to me."

"What?"

A small smile turns upon his lips, there is something threatening behind his demeanor. It turns me on just as much as it intimidates me. "I know you heard me."

I waste no more time, crawling into the back seat, I wait for him to give me further instructions.

Mike is crawling over the arm rest next. He's bigger than I am and the space is limited. It takes him more effort to find his way into the backseat with me. His face is still hard with an obvious resentment. I know whatever he's about to make me do is more for his enjoyment at seeing me cater myself to him, than actually the fact of redeeming our tense relationship.

His bruised lips are twisted and his eyes are intently focused upon mine. He reaches out with his hand and uses one of his fingers to lift my chin.

"Tell me you're mine." He likes to hear me say this. At first, I would feel embarrassed to subject myself to him in that way. Giving him all ownership of me and everything I had to offer, it was not the way that Charlie had raised me throughout the years.

"I'm yours." Eventually, I just began to go along with it.

Mike shakes his head with a wry smile, he is still looking down at me with those laughing eyes. "Say it like you mean it."

"Mike, everything I have belongs to you." I make my voice feral, mustering up enough confidence to actually feel sexy when I say this. "I'm forever and unconditionally yours."

"Let me see those lips." He uses his thumb to trace over the perimeter of my trembling bottom lip, swiping soft and easiness across the smooth skin. I watch his blue eyes widen with an undulated interest. "You know that you have the most prettiest set of lips?"

I shake my head doubtful, I know Mike and I know that he's seen tons of other lips that do not belong to me. I do not fool myself into thinking that I am the most impressive that he's ever seen. That's not why he is with me. Instead of being the most impressive, I am simply the most convenient. I don't think any other girl would put up with the shit I go through with Mike.

"Well, you do Bella. They're so pink and plump." This softer side of him does not ease me. It makes me more weary of what he is planning to do. I watch him carefully, not allowing myself to stray my attention from his lilting eyes. "One of them is slightly fuller than the other. No less beautiful."

He leans towards me daringly, pressing the heat of his mouth against my own. His kiss is ardent and with purpose. He grasps me by my hips and pulls me onto his lap. My body reacts to his instantly, flooding all traces of apprehension. I am filled with fire and I throw all that I have into this kiss, matching the intense reverberations that he passes onto me.

My fingers grasp in his hair, tangling around loose sandy-brown tresses, I meld him no closer than proximity permits. We're chest to chest and raging. I can feel all of what he has to offer.

"Bella." He says breathlessly, pulling away from me with hooded eyes. Those burning lips relocate themselves to the base of my throat. My head falls back and I shudder at the electricity flowing between us. "You like to give me what I want?"

I nod my head, it is all that I can do in this moment. I am unbelievably thrilled, hungrily longing. I want to attack him, and devour him, and please him.

"Show me what that pretty mouth can do." He suggests huskily, popping the button on his khaki pants with a slight anticipation.

I hesitate for a few brief moments, gazing up at him with an unsureness I can't quite dispel. He spots my reluctance almost immediately. This is exactly what he wanted to happen. It's all a game to him.

"Of course, if you don't want to..." He reaches for his pants and begins to button them back together, smiling with a fiendish satisfaction when I swipe his hands away.

"I didn't say that I didn't want to." I make this clarification as he kicks his pants away. They fall to the floor, somewhere underneath the driver's seat. I know that this is degrading, not because he wants me to suck his dick, but because I'm doing it just to keep him around.

I'm ordinary and that's the truth. I only have so many tricks to keep Mike entranced with me. I guess I could probably let him go. That would be for the best. But I've grown so familiar with him and the perks that being his girlfriend has gotten me. It's become a comfortable part of my life, and I am engulfed with a horrible anxiety whenever I ponder losing him.

He does not take off his boxers, instead he pulls himself through the opening in the front. His erection sits in front of my face with more anticipation than the expression on his face has. I wrap my right hand around the base and lean over him. My hair falls around the front of my face, leaving a curtain of obscurity between me and this manipulative boy.

There is nothing left to say between us.

I slip my lips half-way over his length, sliding my tongue down his shaft as I bob my head. I feel the guttural groan rumbling deep within him before he lets it flow from between his lips. Mike's fingers lace themselves around my flowing hair, maneuvering my head to push his dick further into my mouth than I'd prepared myself for. He begins to move his hips but I can only deep throat him for a short period, before I feel that familiar sensation of nausea churning inside my stomach.

"Fuck...Bella." He whispers breathlessly, watching me with hooded eyes when I pull away for air. I bide time by using my hands to stroke him, twisting my palms around the slick skin. I pump him at a steady pace, watching his face for every reaction. "That shit feels...so fucking...good."

Eventually, he gets greedy again. He directs my mouth back down to his cock. I want to take his hands and make him touch me, but I know that if he'd wanted to touch me, that would be just what he'd be doing. He wants my mouth, my devotion, and he wants to make a point.

I let him fuck my mouth without much enthusiasm. His hands weave through my hair again, bobbing my head at the same pace his hips rock at. This is not slow and steady. This is wet, and slippery, and erratic. The head of his dick is hitting my tonsils every time he thrusts back into my mouth, I have absolutely no room to breathe, and my throat is begin to ache from the forcefulness he puts into his maneuvers.

"Goddamn!...Shiiittt...fuuuuk!" He's getting close now and I am none but thankful. I can see his face crumbling under the pressure of the ecstasy. He's groaning and shuddering against me. His pace has sped up considerably. I almost have to pull away for air again, before I feel his dick beginning to twitch. "Oh fuck, fuck, fuck!"

It happens quickly and forcefully, his body convulses and after one big heave his cum is spilling into my mouth.

_"FUUUUUCCKK!" _He roars as the orgasm tears him to pieces, slumping back into the seat's cushions when he has no more to give.

I swallow it down because he likes it that way.

"Damn Bella." His voice is lethargic and so is his face. Satisfaction is radiating off of him. "You've got oral superpowers."

I can only force a small smile. I wipe my mouth for any traces of the sad truth. My lips tingle when my fingers swipe across them. "Are you ready?"

"For what?" He wonders, closing his eyes away from me. He puts his arms behind his head and rests on them. I hate the way he looks so casual and at ease.

"Well, aren't you going to come inside?" We're parked in my driveway and Charlie is not here yet. There's no one outside in this type of weather. No one witnessed the sick way that I thrill myself. "We can do some homework. There's still some leftover lasagna from yesterday."

"Nah, I have some things to do." He says dismissively, glowing inside from the sense of superiority he undoubtedly feels.

I look at him balefully. I hate him. I love him. "What the fuck Mike? I'm not some cheap whore."

"No one said you were." He bites back aggressively, pushing past me to get back into the front seat. His curtness has indicated that this is the end of the conversation. He got what he wanted from me and I lost. "So, I guess I'll see you later. Give me a call around seven or something."

"That's it?" I ask incredulously, resisting the urge to start another heated argument. I don't want him to revert back into the state he was in when we'd left the school. At least, there's some kind of calm between us. "I suck you up and you leave?"

"What do you want some kind of trophy or something?" He snaps tersely, moving his eyes from mines to gauge the time on his clock, the heat from his smoldering gaze is beginning to cool now that his attention is not directed upon me.

"Why are you acting like this?"

"Like what Bella? I have things to do." The irritation from earlier is quickly resurrected, the expression on his face is nothing but different forms of that irritation. I see that his patience is wearing thin. "I told you to call me later. What the fuck is so absolutely important that we have to talk right now?"

"Nothing." I retort sharply, refusing to show him the satisfaction of seeing my feelings hurt.

Our eyes meet. There is truth between us. Resentment and control. We're not bonded with each other because we actually value each other's existences. We're sticking together because this thing we have, it works for both of us.

I roll my eyes and snatch up my things. I can't believe that I didn't expect this. He's done it so many times before. It's just that the way he treats me so coldly, it doesn't give me the same feeling I get when he's dominating me. When he treats me like this, it makes me feel like I'm worth less than the scum on the bottom of his boots.

I know that if I call..._he's not going to answer._

**_..._**

I spend most of the night doing homework and preparing dinner for when Charlie returns. This is one of our weekly rituals. We try to have dinner together at least three times a week. Tonight I am making his favorite and I am glad when he finally gets here.

It gets drab being cooped up in this house alone, and it took him longer than usual to make an appearance.

"What took you so long, old man?" I ask playfully, greeting him with a swift kiss to the cheek. He takes his shoes and coat off at the door, placing his keys in the tray on top the coffee table, and making a beeline for the kitchen table. "The chili almost got cold."

He sighs and murmurs his appreciation when I sit his bowl in front of him, I survey the tire on his face and conclude that he has had another long day at work.

"Got called in to check out a burglary down at Aro's house." His voice is as flat as his face, shaking his head, the frustration on his face is unmistakable. "Didn't get there in time to catch the culprit."

"Do you have any leads?" I ask casually, this is usually what our small talk consists of. Charlie and I aren't that close in terms of our father/daughter relationship. We were a lot more close knit when Renee was still here. We don't like to admit that fact however.

We just go through our days like this. Talking at the dinner table about crime rates and the reason why schools are failing. It is all we have to converse about.

"We can't be for sure..." He trails off vaguely, almost managing to keep most of his professional life evasive enough so I can not interfere. I watch him intently as he spoons his chili, blows the steam away, and swallows it down. These steps are repeated a few times until he realizes that my watching him is due to the fact that he hasn't finished his thought. "But I think those Kirkland kids had something to do with it."

My interest grows at the mentioning of this, I immediately imagine Edward's crooked smile. "What makes you think they're the ones responsible?"

"Come on Bella. You think anybody in Forks has a reason to break into someone's house?" Charlie has a point there. Our parents have money coming out the ass. There's nothing anyone else could possibly have that we wanted but could not get. "Not only were all of Aro's televisions and computers gone, but they also broke into his safe and took ten thousand worth of his savings."

My eyes widen at this information. That is a hefty crime and will definitely result in years of jail time. I try to recall the intriguing faces I'd been so close to this afternoon. I remember the deviousness inside of their eyes and I wonder if they truly are capable of committing such a crime.

"I'm making it my mission to take them down." Charlie declares quietly, displaying a sort of fortitude I'd never seen in him before. "I'm tired of them polluting our town. They need to be behind bars where all the delinquents belong."

"You don't even know if it was them though." I do not know what forces me to come to their defense. This is the third time I've done it today. It seems to surprise Charlie just as much as it surprises me.

He looks at me questioningly, suspiciously. I do not pretend not to see the disapproval that reveals itself in Charlie's stern gaze.

"I heard about what happened in school today."

"Of course you did." I keep my tone light even though I am mildly irritated by this admittance. I am not the same little girl that he devoted so much time into protecting. I appreciate his efforts. But the more strict he is on me, the more it makes me want to break loose from his control. "Keeping tabs on me?"

"Just making sure you're doing what you're supposed to do." There is something underneath the casualness he's holding onto, there is a reason why he even brought this up. I think I know exactly where this conversation is heading. "Your boyfriend got in an altercation with Edward Cullen?"

"Yeah." I say, no point in lying. He already knows the truth and maybe even exaggerated bits of it.

"And you claim that Edward was just defending himself?" He raises his bushy eyebrows, seeking out my eyes across a dinner table that is not the only thing separating us.

"It's not a claim if it's the truth." I clarify, a little too curtly. "Mike wanted to fight Edward. It was a macho thing."

"You know..." He trails off, taking note of new defenses that I've just recently thrown up. "You don't have to feel sorry for them."

"I don't." I say quickly, I don't even know them.

"Good." He says carefully, adverting his eyes away from mine.

I sit for a few more moments, pushing chili around my bowl with a profound lack of appetite. "I think I'm done here."

Charlie looks up at me, as if I've pulled him out of a deep thought. "Okay, are you going to call it a night?"

"I guess so."

"Alrighty, kid." He offers me a small smile, one that I force myself to return. Something about tonight has put me in a very impersonal mood. I don't know if it is my vexation with Mike resurfacing from earlier, or if it has to do with something completely different. "Oh, and Bella?"

"Yeah?" I stop near the sink, dumping my dishes, not bothering to take kitchen duty tonight.

"Stay away from those Kirkland kids. They're bad news." For some reason this does not sit right with me, but I try not to show my disapproval. I don't want Charlie getting any ideas. That would only prompt him to restrict me more tightly on the leash he has secured around my neck. "You know that right? You know they can't offer you anything positive?"

I nod my head. I am quiet when I reply. "I know dad."

**...**

Even though we aren't on the best of terms Mike still picks me up for school in the morning. There's a tension between us. Neither one of us has the desire to address it. I'm sure that it'll pass sooner or later. It always does.

Mike is dreading walking into the school building. He has a behavioral hearing with the principal concerning his punishment. I'm pretty sure she's only going to give him a couple days of out of school suspension. Though, the punishment he is going to get seems like the least of his worries right now.

Mike is dreading feeling the judgmental eyes sizing him up after his defeat, and hearing the ruthless gossip that's going to swarm the school like a colony of killer bees.

"Just ignore it." I advise encouragingly, squeezing his hand as we exit the car. It starts instantaneously. Just as I knew it would. Everyone stops what they're doing to watch us walk towards the entrance doors. "They have nothing better to do."

"Yeah, I've never seen a bunch of people any more pathetic." Mike says this loud enough for everyone to hear, he's not scared to look any of them in their eyes. They look away when he glares at them but resume their positions as soon as he locks his scowling eyes onto someone else.

"Are you about to go to your hearing?" I ask, once we've made it to my locker. Angela and Eric are the only two here right now. The others must be running late. They're usually all here by time Mike and I make it to school.

He nods his head, raking an unconscious hand through his shaggy hair. He's really bothered right now. I think being suspended sounds like a nice idea to him. "They'll most likely send me home afterwards. Since I'm not going to practice today I'll probably stop by your house."

"Okay." I smile up at him and he pecks my lips before going on his way.

"Yesterday was epic huh?" Eric comments, once Mike is long out of hearing distance. I can hear the smugness that he tries to keep under wraps.

I look at him for a long moment before shaking my head, yesterday was totally detrimental and could have easily been avoided. "He should have just listened to us."

"Mike does what he wants." Angela proclaims offhandedly, throwing this at my face like a baseball. It's meant to be spiteful and heart-wrenching, but people don't understand that Mike's hurt me so much I'm pretty much immune to it. "Bella doesn't have a tight enough grip on him."

"And I suppose you could do better?" I turn towards her fully, witnessing the faint flush that conjures inside her cheeks. She's not anywhere near as confident as she displays. Knowing this, I actually feel sorry for her. I don't want to be the one who exposes the fact of her insecurities to everyone.

"Well, yeah." She nods her dark head, yet I see nothing but the credentials Mike would need to take advantage of her.

She just doesn't know.

"Then go right on ahead." I think she sees all of my sarcasm but none of my earnest, her features are smooth and impervious. "Be my guest."

"Everyone knows that Mike only has eyes for you Bella." She replies promptly, though we both know that she has just easily lied to herself and to me.

"Of course." This is the last thing I offer her before I shut my locker and start towards my destination. Without Mike around, I don't have to pretend like I actually have anything in common with them. They don't have to pretend like I intrigue them in any way. Eric is probably the only tolerable one in the entire bunch. But I still can't spend too much time around him without getting bored. Their influences rub off on him way too much.

My first class is English. It is far easier to concentrate now that I don't have to worry about Mike. The teacher gives us an independent novel assignment to do. It is the first big project that we've had in this class all year, and it is apparently worth two test grades. I'm going to have to spend some excessive amounts of time at the library if I even want to consider passing with an average grade. I've been so busy dealing with Mike that I have not been putting as much effort into my school work.

Now my grades are suffering. Since this is my last year, I really want to go out with a bang. Straight A's and honor roll seem to be out of the question at this point.

My second hour is theater, my third hour is social justice, and my fourth hour is silent cinema. The fine arts teachers have a nationwide meeting today so the first half of my day is typically filled with substitutes and crossword puzzles to bide time.

By time lunch rolls around, I have decided to spend the thirty minutes in the library. Getting a head start on my English project seems a hell of a lot more beneficial than killing my brain cells down in the cafe. I doubt that they'll miss my company much.

I sign in at the librarian's desk and attempt to browse the fiction section for a book to do my report on. I could probably just choose from any of the books I have at home on my own bookshelves, but that would be too easy and I kind of want to challenge myself.

I am busy flipping through a science-fiction novel, when I hear two very distinct voices enter the library. I look up to see Alice Brandon and Jasper Hale sauntering past the librarian's desk. They skip signing in and though Mrs. Cope's face looks disapproving, she makes no move to correct them.

I hold the book up to my face, but peer over it inconspicuously. I can't help but be a little bit intrigued by these two. As if they can feel the heat of my gaze, they turn precisely in my direction. I am immediately taken aback. Their eyes land on me and I know that they are well aware of who I am.

My surprise and apprehension only increases when Alice begins to walk towards me. Jasper hesitates near the computers and watches her with perplexed eyes, before he decides to go ahead and follow her trek. I have to wonder what they want from me now. This is probably the way they do things in Kirkland. They wait to find one of their rivals alone and then they ambush them. I prepare myself for whatever is going to happen. My shoulders square, and I lower the book, and I try to put on a face that seems unintimidated.

Alice's gracefulness comes to a stop about a few feet away from me. She keeps a comfortable distance between us. As if she considered the possibility of me being uncomfortable around her.

Today her hair is pinned up in an elaborate updo. She has strands of wavy hair falling haphazardly, around her face and down her neck. Her face is nude of makeup except for the bold, red lip she sports. This is even closer than I was to her yesterday, and like her cousin, she looks so much more stunning up close.

A moment of silence passes between us, until she offers me a small, closed-lipped smile. "Hello Bella."

I say nothing. I am shocked. Maybe even a little snooty. I can't help but feel like her kind and my kind are not supposed to converse. Something about her approaching me is exciting however. My eyes flicker behind her to where Jasper stands. He's looking aloof as usual but something has warmed within his eyes. Those violet irises don't appear to be so cold anymore.

"I wanted to thank you for yesterday." Alice explains cordially, there is nothing but polite patience loitering her tone. Her voice is soft and melodic. It reminds me of bells and other pleasant things. I find myself wanting to hear more from her. "_We_ wanted to say thank you."

Jasper takes that as a cue. He nods his golden head in agreement. "Thank you." He is more reserved than Alice is but he is no less polite. I am severely shocked. Especially since I thought they were coming over here because they were upset about the Mike situation.

I can't help but think that my astonishment is blatantly obvious, both Jasper and Alice seem at least a little amused by the way I am staring at them.

"You could have done what you're friends wanted you to do. You could have lied on us." Alice's half smile gives away her appreciation, she's being nice to me as if we aren't a part of two very different worlds. "And I'm just really happy that you told the truth. I'm sorry if your friends were mad about that."

"Oh, it's fine." This is the first time that I have spoken. I find it oddly easy. I was for sure there'd been an enormous lump in my throat. "I just didn't feel right blaming it on you. I would have done it for anyone."

"I know." Another silence ensures between us. This one is not uncomfortable. I guess we both just don't have much to say to each other.

"Did Edward get in a lot of trouble?" I wonder, thinking about what Charlie had told me yesterday.

"He just got a few days out." She lifts her dainty shoulders in a shrug. I guess she's happy about that. I honestly don't think Edward should have been penalized at all. Mike was the one who'd started it. "That's nothing compared to what he could have gotten."

"Well, could you tell him that I'm sorry?" Jasper and Alice both give me peculiar looks, they do not succeed in disguising their astonishment.

"Sure, but what exactly are you sorry for?"

"For Mike's behavior." Mike is sort of my responsibility. I am his girlfriend so I have to take fault for his actions. I just wish they knew how adamantly I'd tried to change his mind. "I probably could have done more to stop him."

"He doesn't blame you." She assures quietly, offering me another one of those half smiles. Her teeth are stark white against the red paint that coats her lips.

I don't know if I believe this but I'd like to believe that it is true.

"What are you in here doing? Aren't your friends down in the cafe?" She then proceeds to ask, gazing at me levelly with bright green eyes.

"I have a report to do in English."

Alice opens her mouth to say something else. I find myself wondering what it possibly could have been. Jasper beats her to the chase before she has a chance to get it out.

"We'll leave you to it then." His tone makes it clear to both Alice and I that we actually should not be standing here having this conversation. There are miles of boundaries between us. He knows that and we know that. This cordial conversation does not make us friends, nor does it open up a possibility for us ever to be.

"Alright." I say, there is nothing else but that.

"See you around." Alice goes with Jasper without protest, they walk side by side. They are close but not holding hands. I've heard that they are not a couple, but that doesn't necessarily mean they don't like each other. The connection between them is hard to miss.

After their departure, I get back to my report. I find the book I want to do it on and then I even spend some time on the computer researching ideas. My lunch period passes in a blur. I have three more classes before the end of the day and I could not be happier.

Fifth hour is Journalism 3. This is the class that I share with Eric.

"We missed you at lunch." Eric says, gazing at me as I slide into my seat beside him. There is a slight smile on his face waiting for me. I like the fact that Eric is so jovial. He is polar opposites of Mike and Tyler. "Did you go to the library again?"

"Yeah, I have a project due next week." I start to unload my bag, collecting the things that I need for this class on my respective side of the table. Eric has been my partner for three years. That may be the reason why I find it so much easier to talk to him than anyone else in that group. "What happened while I was away?"

He hitches his shoulders in a shrug. "Nothing out of the ordinary. Cullen wasn't at lunch though."

"He got suspended." I say offhandedly, though as soon as I say it, I wish I hadn't.

"How do you know?" He asks, lifting his eyes toward me in curiosity.

I almost want to lie. I can only imagine the speech and reprimands he is about to dish out to me now. "Alice told me."

"You talked to Alice Cullen?" His eyes are wide and I can hear his disbelief. It is thick inside of his voice.

"We ran into each other in the library." I try to say this as casually as I can.

"Ran into each other? Bella that is a term people use when two old friends just happen to see each other in the same place." Eric does not receive my explanation the way I'd wanted him to, he's shaking his head and disapproving me before I can even tell the whole story. "You and Alice Brandon are definitely not old friends. You better hope Mike doesn't find out about this."

"And what would he do? I can talk to whoever I want." I am mildly insulted that he thinks Mike is in control of my entire life. I have a brain and mind of my own.

"Yeah, right." He scoffs at my attempted bravery, knowing damn right how easily I would cower under Mike's unstable temper. "You're not going be saying that when he's making you eat his fist."

I am quiet for a short while. His words rumble something nostalgic and melancholy. "That wasn't very nice."

"I'm sorry Bella." I believe him. There is nothing but remorse and worry on his face. I know that he is just holding my best interest at heart. "I just don't think you should talk to her anymore."

"You act like I'm going to try to start being her friend. It was one petty conversation."

"I hope so." He looks at me carefully but decides to drop the subject. I am grateful for this.

"Hey, do you have to go to practice today?" I ask

"I have to go to practice everyday Bella." His features are wry. He is the star quarterback of the football team, Mike is the linebacker, and Tyler plays some other defensive position. I know Mike envies the fact that Eric has always been picked over him for quarterback. That is why he tries so hard to bully Eric. There is nothing that Mike hates more than when someone is better at something than he is. "Why do you ask?"

"Because Mike dropped me off at school today and he's not answering my texts."

"Maybe you can ask Jess or Lauren for a ride."

"They both have cheer leading." There goes that possibility. Angela doesn't have a car so she takes school transportation.

"So, how are you going to get home then?" He wonders, trying to think of someone that I can possibly catch a ride with. He knows that I only hang out with one crowd of people though. I'm not in a sport or on a team so my social circle isn't as big as his.

"I'll just call Charlie when the bell rings."

**...**

The last two classes of the school day are always the longest. By the time school lets out, Mike has still refused to answer any of my messages. That is just great. He's never around when I actually need him.

I make my way out to the courtyard and sit at one of the picnic tables near the parking lot. I don't even know why the school has these here. It is never warm enough to come outside and enjoy the weather while we eat. It is always constantly raining and dreary. The weather barely even reaches seventy. That is why it's such a bummer to be stranded here like this. Charlie really needs to work on getting my truck fixed.

I try my dad's cell phone but he does not answer. I should have expected this. Charlie never answers his cell phone when he is on duty. I do not know the number to the station by heart and there is no traces of it saved within my phone.

I try his phone a second time. I am left with the same result. This time I leave a message.

"Hey Charlie, this is Bella. If you get this message call me back. I need a way home from school."

"Hi Bella." I almost jump out of my skin at the intrusion of this soft voice. I'd been too entranced in my phone call to notice her approach at all. I look into the green eyes belonging to Alice Brandon. She's staring at me with a casual smile. "Do you need a ride?"

"What?" I ask incredulously, I cannot believe that she just asked me that question.

"Do you need a ride?" She asks again, patience lifting at the corners of her mouth. "Jazz and I could give you a lift."

I look at her with pursed lips. I am trying to figure her out. She seems like one of those people who are just unable to be understood. I don't know what impression I gave her in the library but I definitely do not trust her enough to get in a car with her.

I think she sees this reluctance on my face, I am not good at hiding the way I feel. My face is a blank canvas until my emotions paint themselves onto my expression.

"I don't know if that is a good idea."

"We're not going to kidnap you." I can tell that she is slightly offended, she knows that I am judging her character off of preconceptions. Of course I am. I have nothing else to go off of. She is from Kirkland and all I know it that people from Kirkland are sketchy. "I'm just trying to be a good person. I owe you."

I am about to tell her that she shouldn't feel like she owes me. I don't want anything in return for my honesty. I definitely don't want her being nice to me because she feels she is obligated to.

My words get caught in my throat when she reaches out and grabs my hand. I have an automatic instinct to pull away from her but I do not. Her grasp is soft and gentle. She tugs me to my feet and smiles lightly.

"Come on Bella, getting a ride from us can't be worse than being stranded in the rain."

I can't find it in myself to refuse her another time.

_And then we are on our way towards her car. Our lives so divergent that they collide..._


	3. Believing

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* * *

**CHAPTER 3:**

**BELIEVING**

_"You say we come from two different places?_

_Well unless you're from a different planet_

_We were born in the same place_

_We're the same_

_Fleetingly, temporarily lost."_

* * *

Jasper adorns the driver's seat and Alice is the rightful passenger. I sit quietly in the back. I'm anxious and turbulent. They look almost as much out of their comfort zones as I am. I don't think Jasper likes the fact that Alice invited me along for the ride without asking him.

He's not being rude, but he's definitely not making an effort to break the ice. He keeps his eyes directed on the rode that's blurring past us. It is silence inside of the car but I doubt that's how it would've been if I hadn't been there.

"Hey Bella." Alice says suddenly, turning around to look at me with wondrous emeralds. It's the first time I have been addressed since entering the car. She has a pleasant expression on her face. "Would it be okay with you if we stopped and got something to eat? We'll be quick in the drive-thru."

"Sure, that's fine." I nod my head, waving her away indifferently. I don't want her to know that I don't trust a bone in her body. She's been so nice to me so far. I can't help feeling like I should give them a chance. "Where are you going to stop?"

"The burger place near the highway." She smiles at me and rolls her eyes. "It's Edward's favorite. He just texted me and asked if I could pick him something up."

"So, he lives with you?" I know that Alice and Edward are cousins and that is the maximum of what I know about them. The people from Kirkland stay so much to themselves that they're a mystery. That is why everyone in Forks is so obviously intrigued with them.

She looks down for a few moments, as if she's trying to find the right words to say without saying too much. The fact that her evasiveness is so obvious makes me want to know the answer a little more. She's an enigma. And it's dangerous that she intrigues me at all.

"Yeah, temporarily. Edward and his little brother are staying with us."

"I thought Edward was an only child."

"No, he has a brother who's ten." Something inside of her changes when she starts talking about them. There is a smile on her face but the smile is not for me. It seems to be a reminiscent gesture, an endearing indicator of how much her family means to her. "He looks exactly like Edward. No joke."

"I bet he's gonna be breaking hearts when he's older." If any of Edward's influence rubs off on him, I already feel sorry for the girls that are constantly going to be flinging themselves at him.

"When he's older? That little dude is probably already the world's youngest womanizer." We both laugh at this. It is definitely not hard to believe. I'd like to see the sight of that little boy swaggering around with his brother's attitude and confidence. It must be amusing to see. "He already has all of the little girls around the neighborhood bringing him candy everyday."

"Must learn from the best." I offer casually, coming to realize that on some level Alice and I are connecting. It is not nearly as uncomfortable as it had been when I'd first stepped into the car. Of course, this still feels weird and I know that I should not be doing this. But I am starting to care less and less.

I'm no longer sitting at the far, left end of the car. My face is not pressed against the window and I'm not counting the seconds until my escape. I am more towards the middle now, leaning towards the space where the driver and passenger's seat meet the armrest. I can hear what Alice has to say more clearly this way.

"No doubt." She agrees, nodding her head. There is something lilting about her when she speaks of her family. It is easy to see that they mean a lot to her. I don't know how to relate to that. I can't remember what it feels like to be close to someone, let along a family member. But the warmth from the love she has for them is undeniably radiant. I can feel it by just being near to her.

"So, are you related to Edward through your mom or dad?"

Alice is right back to being hesitant again. Her brows furrow, slightly meeting each other in the middle of her forehead. There is worry evident at the corner of her pursed lips. I think Alice may be like me, but just in the opposite way. I've always wanted to ask them questions and maybe she's always wanted to answer our questions. In Forks, they're not welcome. They're like aliens. They're inhuman. There are probably a lot of untrue rumors and misconceptions about them. We never really know what the truth is, but since they don't try to clear anything up, we have to believe what we hear.

Alice has never seemed more human to me than now. "Edward's mom is my dad's older sister."

I know that I should probably take her previous signs as an indicator to stop asking her questions. It's only making her uncomfortable. I'm not usually this forward and I don't know what has come over me. I guess it is the fact that she's given me an opening, one that I may never get again, and it's no point in pretending like I haven't always longed for the courage to ask them about their lives. "Why don't Edward and his brother live with their mom?"

"She's in rehab." She seems to immediately regret saying this, after letting it slip from her itching tongue. My eyes widen at the information but I am not given the chance to comment.

"Alice." Jasper hisses her name in disapproval, causing her to jump back from the startle.

He actually takes the time to rip his eyes away from the road to look at her. He is upset that she is giving away so much personal information, especially to someone like me. He doesn't say anything else. He only shakes his curly head very slowly. It is evident that he's telling her not to answer any more of my questions. He has cut our small-talk to an abrupt end.

Jasper still realizes and never forgot that I do not belong here with them. Not in this way.

_We are two worlds apart. That fact will always remain._

The discomfort and nerves that I've been trying to cast away are beginning to make a path back into the pit of my stomach. I shrink into my seat, swallowing my urge to ask how long it's going to be before I get home.

Alice becomes quiet as well, she relaxes into her seat with a small frown adorning her expression. I think she feels bad for upsetting Jasper. Her loyalty sits with him, not with me. I see her reach over to him, she places the flat of her palm against his pallid cheek. He sits up straighter, almost as if he's startled that she touched him, but eventually he leans into her touch. His head turns slightly and he puckers his lips against her hand, kissing it softly, reminding her that he is always and forever on her side.

Jasper does nothing to lessen the tension between him and I however. I don't think he even wanted to agree to giving me a ride. I know the only reason he did it is because of Alice. His frigid demeanor is affecting me. I can feel the thick waves of tension rolling off of his back. It is literally very suffocating in the cramped space of this car.

We pull into the drive-thru ten minutes later. I am happy because this means we are now inadvertently closer to my destination.

Alice already has a list of things that she is going to order. She seems to be buying food for a house full of people. Otherwise, Edward is just a really greedy eater. I doubt that however, considering how lean and toned his body is.

"Do you want anything Bella?" Alice turns around to peer at me again, raising her sleek eyebrows in a sincere bout of curiosity.

My immediate instinct is to decline her offer, despite the fact that I am practically starving at this point, I open my mouth to say no.

The abrupt ringing of her cellphone cuts me off before I can get the timid word out of my mouth. I am grateful for this distraction in our conversation. I feel like every thing I've said so far has only made the atmosphere between us more uncomfortable.

She shows me an apologetic smile before turning to retrieve the phone out of her bag.

Alice doesn't even get to answer the phone with a cordial hello before someone has already kick-started into an erratic conversation.

"Carlisle...wait! Slow down..." I can hear the person on the other end of the receiver talking very loudly. In fact, they are just about yelling inside of Alice's ears. I have to say rest in peace to her ear drums. "I don't know what you're talking about..."

The hectic conversation goes on for more than a couple minutes with the person talking erratically into Alice's ears. I feel my face crumbling. I am bewildered and intrigued by the way Alice shrinks as this person chastises her. I am surprised that this person hasn't passed out yet. They've been talking nonstop without taking a breath. Her chance to talk is a long time coming.

"What? Are you sure?" Alice asks, perplexed like and startled.

I can't make out what the person on the other end is saying to her. They're still speaking at about a mile a minute. It's a wonder that Alice can even keep up with them. By the look on her face, I can tell that she is confused. I can also tell that something is very wrong.

I watch Alice's eyes widen into saucers and it frightens something within me. "I counted the money. It was a little over fifteen grand."

I have to keep myself from gasping when I take this in. Jasper turns slightly to look at me, unsure if he should cut into Alice's conversation to keep me from hearing it. This is definitely not something I should be apart of and upon hearing what I heard, I now know that Charlie is right about them.

They really are criminals. There is no way they just have fifteen grand laying around their house. I do not pretend to believe that they obtained that amount of money legally. They are thieves, and drug dealers, and probably even murderers.

"I didn't take any of it. You know I would have told you if I needed to." She says quickly, reassuringly. She turns to look at the golden-boy with curious eyes. "Jazz, did you take any of it?"

Jasper silently shakes his head.

"He said that he didn't take any either. I don't know who could have done it."

The person she is talking to hasn't calmed down since Alice answered the phone. They sound very threatening and dangerous. I am wondering who this person possibly is. Is it their drug lord, the kingpin, someone who'll kill them if they snubbed some of his money without consent?

"Okay, I understand how serious this is. We're on our way..." She is trying to get her point across but he keeps cutting her off. She cannot give him a thorough explanation. He's not even trying to hear her out. "We just have to make a stop first."

The person on the other end finally explodes. Alice winces and has to pull the phone away from her ears because he's talking so loud. He's giving her orders that need to be met now. He doesn't care about what she's doing, what stops she needs to make, or how she feels about him obstructing her plans.

If he's telling her to get home now, he means NOW.

"I know Carlisle but..." She tries to reason one more time but her sentence is cut off by the abrupt sound of an unexpected dial tone. She sinks back into her seat in shock and dread fills my stomach at once.

I'm stuck in the car with a bunch of first class criminals. This is what I get for not heeding Charlie's warnings, for being indignant and wanting to think that I was a _know it all_. This situation can't get much worse.

"Alice, what's the word?" Jasper asks, touching her shoulder gently. His violet eyes search hers out for understanding, but she looks so far away from where we are now. "What did Carlisle tell to you?"

Apparently, I am wrong. This situation can get worse and it does when five measly words slam all of the breath out of me. "We have to go home."

I immediately perk up at this. She can't be saying what I think she is.

"We can't take her with us." Jasper says, there is surprise inside of his voice for her even suggesting it. Alice only now seems to remember that they have an additional passenger in the back seat.

"There's no time Jasper. He wants us there now." She turns around to look at me, I know she can see the fear that has swallowed me. My eyes lock on hers and it seems that we get stuck like that. I see the admission of guilt on her face and she sees the ridicule in mine. This is probably where we both realize that this whole thing was a mistake. We should have never tried to dabble inside of each other's lives. She should have never tried to pretend that we could be compatible. "I'm so sorry Bella. I'll get you home as soon as I can."

"Wait, you're taking me to Kirkland?"

They both are silent and without words. They seem to have drifted away again, only coming out of their stupor when the blaring sound of an impatient car horn pulls their attention back. We have been sitting in this drive-thru for several minutes now, holding up all of the other customers, and now they are getting rowdy behind us.

There's no time wasted. When that stupor is gone, they're in a whole other zone. This shit is real and I'm right in the middle of it.

Jasper shoves the gear into drive and peels out of the parking lot, accelerating to at least eighty before we hit the corner that takes us to the highway. The silence that fills the car is charged with several different things. They are not paying attention to me any longer. They have long forgotten the suburban girl that is trembling in the back of their car.

Their demeanor is rigid. It is painfully obvious that they too are consumed with fear and worry. They keep their eyes focused on what is in front of us. The obscured colors of the cars we blur past, the glow of directional lighting along the sidelines, the lumbering signs hanging above our reach; indicating how far away we are getting from everything that is familiar to me.

Kirkland's exit is more than a few miles down the highway. It has to be an approximate twenty to thirty minute distance from Forks.

I find myself holding my breath as Jasper merges onto the bridge that leads us into the depths of the neighborhood I never thought I'd find myself in. The moment we are off of the highway and on the streets, I see the startling difference between the urbs and the suburbs.

The neighborhood looks dark. It is uninviting. I'm not just saying that because I'm pretentious. There literally are no signs of street lights. I think the only reason Jasper can navigate his way through the winding roads is because he knows this place by heart. It is almost pitch black, apart from the lights that the car provides.

The obscurity makes it hard to see the houses. They are all small. That is the most observing I can do with the little time I am given to see them before we're already zooming down the next road. There are no two-story houses at all. They all look like they're made out of brick, like castles, like forts. The yards are small and over-grown. There are no gardens, no willow trees, no tire swings.

This is the type of neighborhood where kids aren't allowed outside often. Parents fear the consequences of what could happen from a simple bike-ride around the corner.

When the speed of the car gradually begins to slow down, I realize that we are getting closer to our destination. Jasper pulls up in front of a white-bricked house. It is one of more medium sized homes that adorn the cramped streets. There are already three additional cars parked inside of the curving driveway. I recognize one of them as Emmett's towering jeep.

We are forced to park our car beside the curb because there is no more room to park anywhere else. I turn to study the house we are in front of. There is loud music coming from the inside, the front door is wide open but you'd have to be exceptionally close to see what was through that door, and Emmett is standing on the porch with Rosalie. They're leaning against the wooden railing, faces matching the timid expressions that my two abductors wear, and scouring the streets as if they are looking out for something.

What they are looking for, I do not know.

They can't see inside of the car because the windows are tinted. I am glad they can't see me. I can only imagine what their reactions will be.

Alice and Jasper are still silent. I am waiting for them to speak, to say something, to say anything. If they don't I know I'm going to burst or have a meltdown.

"Are we going to go in?" Jasper tilts his head in Alice's direction, indicating that he is only extending the invitation to her and himself. He tries to forget about me completely. I don't that is fair considering the fact that Alice was the one who offered me the ride.

I didn't even want to accept her offer. She's the one who pressured me. So she should be the one that he decides to shun so callously.

"We can't just leave Bella in the car, Jasper." She looks at his face, at his violet eyes, and shakes her head at him.

"We can't take her in either." Jasper retorts evenly. His voice and tone are level, but it is easy to see that he is irritated. "Carlisle will blow his gasket Alice."

"I'm not leaving her." Alice says firmly, giving Jasper a look that says she won't back down from this.

I expect Jasper to argue with her more and he completely surprises me when he doesn't. He's the passive-aggressive type. I see that when he opens his car door and stalks away, leaving me and Alice behind. He doesn't even greet Emmett and Rosalie when he transcends past them.

"Don't worry about Jasper. I swear he has a mood-disorder." She says this as a joke. It's not funny though. It's also not hard to believe.

"What's going to happen now?"

Her voice is just as quiet as mine. We're both mouses, both afraid of our own shadows, both afraid of everything that is bigger than we are. "You're going to have to come in with me."

I shift uncomfortably where I sit. That house is filled with people who do not like me, and they're going to treat me the same way that Jasper did. Some of them might not even be passive. I don't belong here. She looks like she wants to say something to reassure me, but she knows just as much as I do what a mistake this was.

So she simply says, "Just keep quiet okay? I'll explain everything to anyone who has a problem with you being here."

With that Alice opens her car door. The world has become a ballerina dancer. It spins around me tauntingly, reminding me that I'm in the wrong place. There is no courage inside of me. There is nothing but dread. I guess that's because the only thing I can do is follow her.

I am immediately unwelcomed. I feel it as soon as I take the first step out of the car. Rosalie and Emmett are the first two people who spot me. Their eyes flicker from between Alice and myself. Emmett is looking confused and maybe even a little amused. Rosalie, on the other hand, is beyond livid. Her arms are crossed over her chest and though she is not glaring, there is a glare inside of her eyes that threatens me before her words get a chance to.

"What the fuck is she doing here?" To my horror, her eyes land directly on mine. She's staring at me as if she expects me to be the one to answer her question. I have lost every trace of my voice however. All I can do is look at her dumbly, cowering under the waves of hostility that she sends my way.

"She's with me Rose." Alice says rather bluntly, wrapping her hand around mine to give me some comfort. "Come on, Bella."

Alice's defense widens Rosalie's violet-eyes before a horrible scowl completely and utterly swallows her facial features.

"What do you think you're doing?" She says through her teeth, glaring at Alice balefully. Emmett has to wrap his arm around her waist when we make it to the porch steps. I can see her vibrating with anger. Her teeth are locked together, grinding so hard against each other, that I know it must be painful. "She's not going in there."

"Well, she can't stay outside." Alice amends, looking up at Rosalie with hopeful eyes. I see that Alice does not want to fight with Rosalie. She knows that she is wrong, that this is her fault, but she refuses to leave me on the back-burner at her mistake.

"Take her back where she belongs." She sneers down at me, voice snippy and unabashed. She doesn't care about being mean. She doesn't like me here and she wants that to be known. This is her territory. Not mine.

"Rosalie, you know I can't do that right now." Alice shakes her head, looking over to Emmett for some sort of support.

He looks worried about Alice and about Rosalie, but he knows whose side he has to take if this argument escalates into anything more than a disagreement. I can see that he is bothered by that. My presence is perturbing to him and he probably just wishes that I wasn't here right now. That would have saved a lot of confusion.

"Just let them pass." Emmett says into Rosalie's neck, rubbing his large hands over her slender shoulders. She seems to react to his touch. But she only relaxes marginally, never taking her fiery eyes away from us as we move past her.

Alice pulls open the screen door and we enter the next stage of discomfort...

I feel a profound heat burning inside of my cheeks when I take in the next sight. Tanya and Edward are laying on the crisp leather couch. She's in front of him with her back pressed against his chest. He seems to be sleeping. His face is buried in her mass of tangled blonde hair. I don't know how he can sleep at all with the music box playing so loudly by his head.

Their clothes are shamelessly discarded around the floor. Edward is in his boxers. That is all I can say about that. Tanya on the other hand is completely naked. There is nothing but a small blanket wrapped around her body.

Alice doesn't seem surprised by this. In fact, she pays their compromising position little to no mind. Tanya turns her head towards the sound of us entering the house, her blue eyes land on our emerging bodies. She doesn't say anything. The moment that passes between us isn't nearly as intimidating as Rosalie's encounter.

Tanya only raises her eyebrows at Alice, there is a look of amusement on her face, but the evidence of boredom is hard to ignore. "We're taking the revenge on Newton a little too far aren't we? You kidnapped his girlfriend? Couldn't you have brought along someone more interesting?"

I look away from her condescending eyes uncomfortably. The smirk on her face is smug and evident. It is a wonder how someone like her can make me feel so damn insignificant at all. I shift my gaze towards anything that isn't her. My attention lands on the large television that's embedded inside the center of the wall. It's only now that I take note of how different the interior of this house is from the exterior.

Inside there are plush white carpets, dark maroon walls, and sleek black furniture. The couch set is made of expensive leather. It is a wrap around, with two additional recliners, and a love seat. They're all situated in a way so that the television can be seen no matter where a person chooses to sit. The large entertainment center under the television is the home to three game consoles. There is a Nintendo Wii, an Xbox 360, and a PlayStation 3. There's a computer and a beat box stationed over in the corner of the room that looks close to brand new. The thing that really catches my eye is the exquisite artwork that's so craftily plastered along the walls.

I try not to let the astonishment show on my face. How they managed to obtain all of these things is beyond me. Though, there is no doubt in my mind that they did it illegally.

Tanya begins to shift in her position, turning even more to get a better look at us. Her moving disturbs Edward's shallow slumber. It's not long before he's stretching out and waking up. I am even more nervous to see his reaction than anyone else's.

He sits up slowly, dragging his hand through bed-ridden hair, there's evidence of a daze inside of his emerald eyes. His attention focuses on Alice first, and as if my awkward shifting alerts him to my presence, his head cocks in my direction.

"You brought the chief's daughter?" His bushy brows knit together copiously, something twitches at the edge of his mouth. The way his eyes rake over me makes shivers run down my spine. "Now, this is going to be an interesting night."

**...**

There is about a thirty minute wait. Alice tells me that there are other people who need to arrive. There's been an impromptu meeting called by a man named Carlisle. I learn that this is Alice's father and Edward's uncle. That is all the information I am given. Everyone keeps their talking to a minimum, careful not to say too much since I am here.

Everyone who enters the house all have the same perplexed reactions to me. Some of them are warmer than others, some make it known that they do not appreciate me intruding their safe haven, and others simply watch me from a distance. Their interest is not daunted.

Here in Kirkland, I am the alien.

After a half hour passes there are more than ten people sitting around the living room. Alice, Edward, and Tanya sit on the couch. Jasper leans by a wall near the entrance to what looks like a kitchen. Garrett, Peter, and Emmett sit along the wrap-around, playing the Xbox against each other. Irina and Kate are looking at something on the computer. Victoria is the last person to arrive. She walks in with Rosalie, hair blazing, and grey-eyed. She completely ignores me and goes to sit by her brother.

"Who are we waiting for now?" Emmett asks, he isn't talking to anyone in particular. His attention is on the game. They all look so normal and comfortable around each other. They look like a family.

"Carlisle said that he's gonna be here in five minutes." Edward answers casually, holding something that looks like a bong up to Tanya's pink lips. She eagerly wraps her lips around it, excitement in her eyes when Edward holds the flame of his lighter towards the end of it. The smell of marijuana is prominent in the air. This is nothing out of the ordinary to any of them. "He's the last person that needs to get here."

I watch curiously, not so much conspicuously, as Tanya draws Edward attention towards her mouth. He looks at her with a dark mischief and leans forward to press his lips against hers. The moment they touch she falls into him, eyes closed, mouth open. He takes all of the smoke inside of her mouth for himself.

"Stare much?" Rosalie bites, from where she stands beside Jasper. I immediately blush because I had not known she was watching me. I don't want to look at the fury on her face but I can't help but glimpsing at her. She stands beside her brother and they're identical as ever. But they are very distinct in personality. He is mellow where she is harsh.

His violet eyes regard me, not with anger or curiosity, but as if he's sizing up how big of a threat I can pose to them. Rosalie eyes are close to being black now, her anger has darkened the color of her irises. She's staring at me with ridicule. She wants to make me squeamish, she wants to make me choke up, she wants to make sure I never step foot in Kirkland again. I've never seen a girl more terrifying than she is. There are layers of ice around her.

Edward chuckles lightly from where he sits, blowing 'o' shapes into their air with dilated pupils. He's high. That much is evident in the lopsided smile he flashes in Rosalie's direction. "Be a nice kitty, Rosalie."

"Bite me." She snaps back, her voice is silken savagery. She unwaveringly levels her acidic gaze on him.

"I don't think Tanya would appreciate that very much." Edward pays no mind to Rosalie's vast annoyance. He is amused by it if anything, and this only proves to upset the blond-haired beauty even more.

"Actually, I'm cool with it Edward." Tanya says to him playfully, crawling over the length of the couch to situate herself inside of his lap. He leans back with bright eyes, watching her straddle him, the lustful energy that charges between the two of them is astonishing. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it before. "As long as you let me help. I've always had a thing for Rosalie."

"We can drop the clothes right now and make it an orgy." Emmett suggests from across the room, waving his eyebrows in Rosalie's direction. His playfulness is the only thing that has put even the slightest trace of a smile on her face since I've been here. She rolls her eyes at him but I can tell that she appreciates his boyishness. She must find it endearing. "Of course, I don't think our guest would like that very much."

I almost wish Emmett wouldn't have mentioned me. It only brings Rosalie's wrathful attention back onto the fact of me being here. She sneers at me, straightening her chin, locking those violet orbs onto me once again. She doesn't say anything and for that I am glad.

"Or maybe we should invite her to join?" Edward keeps the joke going at my expense, flashing his gaze towards me. There is a dark challenge underneath his lazy expression. He may be high but he is still fully aware of what he's saying.

I blush. I can't help it.

Tanya snorts in contempt, quickly grasping his face between her manicured fingers, she forces him to look up at her. They hold each other's gaze.

She raises her blond eyebrows and there is nothing but confidence on her face. "That virgin wouldn't know what to do with you even if I explained it to her in detail."

"Is that right?" His lips twitch with amusement but he doesn't offer her a smile. He wraps his fingers around her hair and yanks her head back, not hard enough to really hurt her, but just rough enough to send a stint of adrenaline spilling across her rosy cheeks. "You think you know what to do?"

"I don't think." Her voice is breathy as he nips at her exposed neck.

I find it odd that they partake in this kind of sexual behavior in front of everyone. Nobody is even paying them attention. It must be a normal thing. They have absolutely no boundaries and I find that exciting somehow. Edward does whatever he wants and since Tanya is his girl, she isn't bound by any restrictions either. He's made her into a monster.

There's nothing else but sex appeal and arrogance that makes up her personality. "I know for sure."

"Would someone please get these two a room?" Alice asks, curling her lips mockingly. She is subject to their escapades because she is sitting right beside them. "Isn't anyone else tired of watching them rape each other?"

"Nah." Emmett answers, he shrugs his shoulders. Just as I thought, they are used to it by now. "It's something I expect to see daily."

"Well, I'm tired of it."

"Shut up Alice..." Tanya says, pulling away from Edward's hungry mouth. He attacks her lips again, before she is even given the appropriate chance to finish her thought. Her lips are swollen and red. They both are hooded and charged. They look like they're one tongue kiss away from fucking right there. "You're just mad that Jasper hasn't given you any dick yet."

There are a few chuckles sounding around the room. More people chime in to tease. It's all lighthearted. They are just making fun. Alice's face is flushed though, she refrains from looking at Jasper, who has a hint of amusement on his face as well.

Before anyone can contribute anything else to the conversation, the front door is swinging open. The man who walks into the house is nothing like I expected. I was looking for a burly man. Someone who was gruff, bearded, and struck intimidation upon a glimpse.

The man I see is neat and clean-shaven. His honey colored hair is a stark contrast to his daughter's dark waves. He has a compassionate face. Everything is smooth on him. His eyes are clear and the same verdant hue as Edward's and Alice's. It must be a trademark that runs in their family. He is wearing crisp black slacks, a navy blue sweater that wraps around his toned torso, and a complementing cashmere scarf.

There is nothing that screams danger about him, there is nothing out of the ordinary about him, nothing that indicates that he deals with any sort of illegal business. In his right hand, there is a suede suitcase and in the other hand, there is the hand of a young boy.

"Sorry, I am late." His voice is even soft, he's definitely not what I pictured when I heard him yelling at Alice earlier. "I had to pick Masen up from baseball practice."'

Alice had not been joking about before. The boy is the spitting image of his older brother. From the intense green eyes and bronzed hair, all the way to the long limbs and freckled skin.

"Hey Edward." He kind of speaks softly too, but there is energy inside of his youthful tone. He is bright-eyed when he walks past me to reach his brother. "You're coming to my game right?"

Edward pushes Tanya off of his lap and straightens up, he reaches his hand out towards Masen and the two of them engage in some sort of secret handshake. It's easy to see the bond between the two of them. Edward's face has a softness to it now, one that is not evident when he's around anyone else, even Tanya or Alice.

"When is it?" He asks curiously, running his fingers through Masen's hair in endearment. The little boy beams up at him. "I have stuff to do this weekend."

"Well, it's on Thursday night." Masen answers, looking hopeful. Edward must be his inspiration. The idolization is not hard to see. "I've been practicing those moves that Jazz and Peter showed me."

"That's awesome, I'll tell you what..." Edward nods his head, offering his brother an easy smile. "I'm gonna try my absolute hardest to make it."

"My girlfriend is going to be there. You have to meet her." Masen waggles his eyebrows suggestively.

This causes Edward to burst with laughter. "I just met her last week."

"No, I'm talking about the other one." Masen replies, rolling his eyes as if it should be obvious that he has more than one girlfriend.

"Yeah, is that right?" Edward ruffles his head again. "You need to get your head away from those girls. School is the most important thing in your life right now."

"I thought we were gonna take our girls on a double date though?"

"I meant when you were old enough to help pay for the date. Girls are expensive creatures Masen." Tanya hits Edward's shoulder but he ignores her. He's just playing. "Don't you have some homework to do? You need to get on that."

"Okay, okay." Masen says playfully, bumping fists with his brother again before chuckling at his brother's sternness.

The real discussion begins after Masen retreats down the adjacent hallway.

"I see we have ourselves a guest." Carlisle is the first one to speak. He doesn't miss my presence like Masen had. His eyes are focused on me. His mouth is stern and his eyes are hard around the edges. "And it's the chief's prodigal daughter?"

He's unhappy with this. He doesn't have to be blatantly disrespectful like Rosalie for me to recognize his displeasure. His expression and the tight tone of his voice is enough to express it. No one says anything. I don't know if it's out of intimidation or respect.

In the car, Jasper and Alice had appeared to be afraid of him. Or at the very least, they appeared to be weary of him. He must be like Edward. A calm before the storm. Underneath his placid demeanor, there must be something startling to witness.

"Alice is the one who brought her here." Victoria is surprisingly the one who tosses Alice under the bus.

Carlisle looks at his daughter, eyebrows raised questioningly. "You thought it to be the appropriate time for unannounced guests?"

"I was trying to tell you on the phone..." Alice begins to explain, timidly at that. Her eyes are contrite.

"That you were riding around with a liability?" Carlisle finishes her sentence for her. His voice isn't raised but there is a distinct power inside of it. That power is what's rendering everyone into reticent silence. Even Edward is refraining from looking Carlisle inside of the eyes.

"She needed a ride home. There was no one else around." Alice exhales loudly, wringing her fingers inside of her lap, and I'm horrified that she's being castigated because of me. No one comes to her defense. They all rather watch Carlisle focus his disapproval on Alice than themselves.

I want to say something, but I just don't have the voice.

"You think she would have done the same for you?" Victoria asks, and I'm unsure of why her hostility is focused directly upon Alice. "Bella and her little suburban friends would have left you drenched."

"You can't always be a good Samaritan, Al." Emmett is less harsh with his words. He isn't reprimanding her. He's just letting her know the truth. I definitely can't picture him offering me a ride. He knows better.

"Fuck being a good Samaritan." Rosalie snaps rapidly, no less vexed than she was before. I think she is finally glad that someone is as upset about me being here as she is. She and Carlisle don't express their anger in the same way though. She's all glares and frostiness. He is silent turbulence. "She's got so much evidence on us now. We'll be lucky if we're not thrown in jail by tomorrow night."

"I couldn't just leave her out there." Alice tries one more time to reason. It's still not getting her anywhere. They are all decidedly against her.

"You put everyone else in danger from your idiotic decision." Peter now speaks up, his red hair blazing. He shakes his head in her direction, following the suit of his sister's anger.

Carlisle also shakes his head, pinching the bridge of his nose to contain what looks like frustration. "It was very moronic and gullible of you Alice. I guess you are willing to take the blood of all of your friends on your hands?"

Alice doesn't speak but surprisingly Edward does.

"She won't say anything." He insists quietly, causing the shift of attention to turn in his direction. I guess he doesn't like the fact that everyone is ganging up on Alice. His eyes are still red. He's probably still high. But there is a seriousness inside of him. "I don't know if it's out of fear or common sense. She'll keep her mouth shut though."

Carlisle and Edward engage in a stare down, in which the two of them hold each other's smoldering gazes for what seems like an eternity. Carlisle is quietly frightening. Even Edward seems to think so. He doesn't waver however. Another silence charges the room. I don't know if they're brewing up to explode or if the issue is going to be resolved.

"Are you sure about that?"

Edward looks my way wearily, now even he's getting himself tangled up in confusion because of me. I want to nod my head or give some sort of indication that they can trust me, but I don't for a number of different reasons. I don't want to enrage anyone or hype the argument back up. Not when it's just beginning to cool down.

"I don't know much about her. But she proved me wrong before." Edward glances back towards Carlisle. "I'm hoping she'll prove us wrong again."

"Well, then it's settled." Carlisle clasps his hands together, narrowing those threatening orbs in the direction of the two people who stood up for me. "The burden is Edward's and Alice's to hold. If any of you are implicated you know who to blame."

Edward and Alice are quiet at this. Both of them are wearing similar expressions of exasperation and concern.

Carlisle drops his suitcase onto the floor with a resonating thud. "Now, we can discuss the mishaps that have occurred in the last twenty-four hours."

"Wait Carlisle, she's already seen too much." Rosalie stops him incredulously, which makes him turns his icy gaze towards her. His intensity makes her shrink but it doesn't kill all of the fire inside of her. "We're just gonna discuss business in front of her?"

"You're right Rose, she's seen too much." Carlisle shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly, casting an accusing glance in Alice's direction. She's still as quiet as a mouse. "It's too late to go back now. So, we're discussing business right here. Right now."

Rosalie crosses her arms across her chest indignantly, she must be fuming inside. I don't think she's used to not getting her way. Her mouth is otherwise kept quiet. I don't even think she has enough gall to oppose Carlisle a second time. She barely went through with it the first time.

"According to my records, I seem to be missing twelve grand. I checked the bank account this morning and was unpleasantly surprised to find out that my balance is sitting at three thousand. Fifteen grand was supposed to be deposited yesterday night. What the fuck happened?"

The room stays pitch still. No one utters a sound. I feel constricted and uncomfortable. Everyone else seems to feel the same way. They all are holding their breaths.

For what, I do not know.

Carlisle waits five seconds, before he slams his fist down onto the coffee table that's perched beside him. I can't help but jump at the thundering bang that shoots across the tense room.

"Where the fuck is the money?!" Carlisle roars menacingly, shaking with anger he'd been containing since he arrived. His fists are balled at his sides, eyes half closed, and teeth snarled. "Who hit the lick on Aro's house?"

From school and Charlie, I know the meanings to at least some slang terms. I am aware that "Hit a lick" means to steal something or commit a burglary. This is the final confirmation that I need to draw my conclusion. Charlie, Mike, Harry, and everyone else who ever scorned Kirkland's name...they had always been right.

"It was me, Jasper, and Garrett..." Edward announces, taking the lead once again. Carlisle's eyes are blazing when they land on his. Edward sees Carlisle's fury rising and quickly finishes his sentence. "But we loaded up the cars, grabbed the money, and drove down to Port Angeles to match with Emmett and Peter."

Carlisle turns his ridicule onto Emmett, whose dark eyes instantly widen. "You and Peter were down there delivering the codeine and promethazine syrup, right?"

"Yeah." Emmett nods his head. "We got the money from the client, Edward gave us the ten grand, and then we went to the trap house to drop the money off with Alice."

Alice immediately perks up, ready to deliver her defense. "I counted the five hundred Emmett gave me, the ten thousand from Aro, and the forty-five hundred that Edward brought back later that night. It was fifteen grand."

"Where did you, Jasper, and Garrett go after you left Port Angeles?" Carlisle asks thoughtfully, turning towards Edward again.

"We had to drop off the heroine in La Push. That's where we got the additional forty-five hundred from."

Carlisle seems to accept this. Edward, Jasper, and Garrett are clear. Emmett and Peter also appear to be off of the hook. He forgets about them and turns back towards Alice, regarding her as if she is not his child but as if she is his employee. "Who picked up the money?"

"Vicky, Rose, and Tanya came around midnight." Alice explains, looking towards her father with eyes that mirror his own. "They picked it up to take it to the bank."

Carlisle exes Alice off of his suspect list. Tanya, Victoria, and Rosalie are now being focused upon. "Did you make the drop?"

Tanya nods her blond head, curls springing to the front of her face like a halo. She peers at Carlisle with crystal-blue sincerity. "We met up with Felix and then made the drop."

"Felix? Since when does _Felix_ make runs with you?" Carlisle repeats the name wondrously, green eyes hardening upon the mention of it. "What the fuck did Felix have to do with anything?"

Tanya's eyes widen when she realizes that she is the one who made the mistake. "He called us when we were half-way there. He said you called him in. I thought he was a part of the mission. He knew the credentials to the account and everything."

"He had the pin number?" Carlisle asks incredulously, he is fuming now. His hands are raking through his smooth hair and his face is crumbled in anger. I feel sorry for whoever Felix is. I can sense everyone holding their breaths again. They are waiting for Carlisle to explode. "I make sure not to give him information to the accounts when I call him in."

"Since last time, when he stole our money." Peter snarls, curling his lip.

This Felix guy is an unfortunate character. He'll be lucky if he gets away with his life intact.

"That is exactly why. The bastard is a little schemer." Carlisle's voice is gruff. The tension in the room has lessened, now that everyone is out of the way of Carlisle's immediate scrutiny. "I bet he was the one who took off with the twelve grand."

"I just saw him today." Irina says, her voice is butter-cream light. This is the first time that she's spoken all night. She has similar features to Tanya's but she is nowhere near as striking. She's lacking the zest that Tanya reverberates with. "He was on Grove Street making sells."

Carlisle has scrunched brows, there is a frustration that still hasn't disappeared, even after finding out where his money wandered off to. "I need to get that money back. It wasn't mines. That was the money I owed to those Volturi pricks. If I don't have it by Friday night they're going to start fucking up my shit."

"Then we'll go question Felix." Emmett says with determination. It is appreciated by his leader. Carlisle offers a slight smile in his direction.

"We'll definitely do that Emmett." Carlisle nods his head, pursing his lips in consideration.

Edward stands to his feet, stretching his long limbs, probably readying himself for whatever is to happen next. He's still in his boxers and Tanya is still nakedly wrapped in a blanket. I try not to let my eyes linger on him. I don't need another reason for Rosalie to jump down my throat.

His green eyes seek out his uncle's. "By now he has it stashed somewhere we'll never discover in a million years."

Carlisle is three steps ahead of Edward's sharp thinking. "That's why I need some of you to go make runs tonight. We need to be on our game double time now."

"Alice, I want you and Rosalie to go to the trap house." He begins to give them their orders. I've never seen a systematic arrangement like this before. I am still timid, still uncomfortable, and I haven't dare let my guards down. I can't deny that I'd give anything to be home right now. This situation I am in however, is the most thrilling and intriguing thing that I've ever been a part of. "As a matter of fact, take Victoria and the Denali sisters with you."

"Me, Peter, and Jasper can go deal with Felix." Emmett offers, smiling deviously, in a way that alerts me to just how viciously Felix will be dealt with. Playing with someone's money is dangerous. If Felix doesn't get killed, then he'll be beaten close to it.

"That's good." Carlisle agrees to this. "Edward and Garrett, I need you to go make some runs in Spokane."

"What about Bella?" Alice is the only one who regards my presence. Everyone else just seems to have forgotten about me.

Carlisle looks in my direction. The fire in his eyes is unruly. He cocks his head to the side in consideration.

"I can take her home on my way." Edward says firmly, he has a game face on now. Yet there are no games being played. This is his life. Their world is centered around drugs, danger, and dirty money. We're so many worlds apart. "I have to pass through Forks anyway."

"That's settled." Carlisle nods his head. His confirmation means everything to them. "Garrett take my car. You and Edward can just meet up down there."

_And then we're all unsure how the night will end. Our lives unbalanced on compromised scales..._


	4. Barricades

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* * *

**CHAPTER 4:**

**BARRICADES**

_"If it was up to me_

_we would all have leopard spots._

_"But no two leopards have the same spots._

_It's always a controversy, a difference._

_Some people are worthy and some are not._

_Some leopard's spots are circles and some are ovals."_

* * *

There is one thing I never thought I'd find myself saying.

I had gone to Kirkland, Washington tonight. I'd seen what life looks like for the people across the tracks. I know what type of environments they are born into. It's a crazy whirlwind and I just have to say how glad I am to be fortunate enough to have someone that shielded me away from those kind of dangers all of my life.

No kid should have to grow up with a lifestyle like that. I feel bad for what Masen will become when he's older. Another criminal, another juvenile delinquent, another Kirkland statistic...

"So, I suppose you think you know us now." I am surprised to hear Edward speak over the soft tones of the radio. We have been cruising down the highway for at least ten minutes now, and he hasn't said a single word to me since we left the house. "You think you have us all figured out right?"

I had not expected for him to engage in any conversation with me. He'd seemed very preoccupied with his thoughts. There is some sort of mission he has to go on after he drops me off. Carlisle is sending him to Spokane, Washington with three duffle bags full of unmentionables. I thought that alone would have been enough to keep him pondering to himself. I definitely had not planned on starting a chat with him.

I've seen too much of his life now to still look at him as if he's better than the villainous reputation Forks has attached to him. He is everything that Forks ever said he was, and he is right about his daunting assumption. I am no longer fooled, blinded by forced benefits of the doubt, or willing to look the other way for his sake. I know him for who he really is.

I've seen it all.

But I know I can never tell a soul. I owe that much to Alice at least. Still, it makes me feel weird to know this secret and to keep it under wraps. I have the answers to all of the questions everyone in my world has ever asked about them. I can put the mystery to a quick rest, the boundaries between Kirkland and Forks can become bolder, my town can become safer, and then we can all just get back to our respective lives.

I however, just can't betray Edward and Alice's trust like that. They put themselves on the line for me. Keeping their secret safe is what will wipe the red out of my ledger. I won't owe them anything else and the same will be vice versa.

"You don't have to act all timid and stuff like you're scared of me." I unwillingly pull my gaze away from the comfort of familiar surroundings outside of the window, something inside of his voice makes me settle my attention upon him. "When it's obvious that you want to fuck me like all of the other girls who crave a bad boy in their lives."

"Excuse me?" I question his audacity, raising my eyebrows slightly and trying not to feel offended by his disrespectful theory.

"Oh, don't be daft Bella. You may be pretentious but you're certainly not dumb like some of your other friends."

Words are spewing from him lips without a filter and that is exactly what he's used to. He says what he wants because he has no one to fear. His impertinence is bewildering but I expect no less out of someone like him.

"All the people in Forks ever do is judge us. They sit around and turn their noses up at the way we live but don't really know shit about us. And even what they do know or what they _think_ they know...they still find some tiny part of themselves wishing they were us."

I try not to scoff. I don't know what I want to mock more. His audacity or his arrogance. I don't know anyone in Forks who would rather give up quiet neighborhoods, trite dinner parties, and boring piano recitals for the temporary thrill of living their life on the edge.

We are comfortable the way we are.

"Who in their right mind would want to have any part of the bizarre lifestyle you and every other unlucky soul in Kirkland has to endure?" My voice is quiet when I say this, I don't know what depths I am able to pull the courage from. I guess it may be from the fact that I am tired, nerve stricken, and just ready to be back to my normal life. I've had enough unorthodox adventures for tonight.

Though, the silence that fills the car afterward, almost makes me regret spiting him. My words seem to hit him like a brick.

Just when I thought that he was through talking to me indefinitely, he opens his mouth and speaks again.

"Your sorry excuse for a boyfriend. That's who." Something taunting flashes across Edward's face. I spot it before the blaring lights on the sideline forces it away. "I bet he doesn't even fuck you right."

I inhale sharply, wide-eyed, and extremely taken aback. There is heat crashing into me. Embarrassment has to be an understatement when it comes to how I'm feeling. Edward says this so knowingly, even if it is only to get me back from earlier, it definitely hits home. Just like he knew it would.

"Well, that's none of you're business."

"I know it isn't my business and I actually couldn't care less." He says easily, hitching his shoulders in an act of pure nonchalance.

He's just like Rosalie but way less harsh. He doesn't care how he makes people feel with his words.

"The fact of the matter is, your boyfriend wants to be like us. And the only reason you're even with him is because you want the closest thing you can get to a bad boy."

I am silent to this and he welcomes it.

"People tell you to stay away from the delinquents because they're bad people and will hurt you. You know it's wrong but you still can't help yourself from staring whenever one of us walks past you."

Edward's voice is level, his tone and the volume. He is speaking in a way that dares me to interrupt him or disagree. He is so calm and calculated, and I am trembling with the profound urge to dispute with him. Partly because he's extremely out of line but mainly because I have no idea if what he's saying is true or not. And it's scary when someone who doesn't know you, knows more about you than you know yourself.

"Everything about us invites you in. Our faces, the way we dress, probably even our smells. You know that if you were given the chance to fuck any of us and no one would find out...you would take it. Any one of you would. That's because the people in Forks are too controlled. You get those dopamine releases whenever thrill finds it way into your life. You crave it and you know it."

"You don't know what you're talking about." I say, scrunching my eyebrows in confusion. My heart is beating rapidly, I can feel it thudding against my chest. Edward's words are making me itch.

"I don't wanna hear the bullshit Bella. In fact, I am only saying this to give you a warning. I've seen it happen so many times before."

"What?" I wonder what he is talking about.

"Someone gets a taste of what it's like to live a reckless life. Then they keep coming back because it intrigues them. Before they know it, they're now apart of the reckless lifestyle. And It's only when the recklessness is no longer fun when they realize that this is not some big joke."

"Joke?" I ask, studying the way his green eyes pulsate. They are no longer tinted red. There are no traces of his previous high. He's all well aware and back to his normal self, not the mellow person that I'd witnessed lounging on the couch an hour ago.

His voice is serious now and his face matches the tone. There's some point that he is trying to get across to me. One that I may be refusing to grasp.

Now, I know what it feels like for someone to think that they just know everything about you. It is frustrating and insulting.

"Yes Bella, the people in Forks might be going off of blind rumors but they know we're dangerous. They're right about that. All I can remember growing up is drugs. All I remember is learning the names of them, how to cut and distribute them, measuring grams, ounces, pints, and kilos. My father never taught me how to ride a bike. My mom didn't tuck me into bed at night with promises of good dreams. You're right, who would want to live this life?"

He doesn't expect an answer out of me. The question is mostly rhetorical anyway. I know I wouldn't have been able to offer him anything coherent even if he had been expecting a reply. The intensity that reverberates his voice is rendering me silent.

"We only do because it's not a choice for us. We don't have shit. The only thing we have that's worth glorifying is each other. Our bond. And you're for damn sure if I have something to fight for then I'm gonna fight. I have my brother, Alice, and all of the other people who depend on me."

Silence swallows me completely whole. I am looking at this boy with appraising eyes, wondering how one person can be so irritatingly intriguing. I can't stop myself from feeling sorry for him but I am sure to keep that out of my expression. I don't think Edward is the kind of person to receive sympathy very well.

His words make me realize the depth of things. They make me see him in a more clearer light. My opinion keeps changing. It's clear that he's not an innocent. None of them are. But does that necessarily make them bad?

He is right. I do not understand them. I don't know about their life. I can't judge them. I am not in the position to do so. We don't know what they go through. It's clear that he's not just a thug. None of them are. But does that necessarily make them good?

"It's not pretty at all. I could get killed tonight in Spokane. I'm aware of that. I've got kilos of cocaine stashed in the trunk of this car. That's a fucking felony. If the law catches up to me I'm going to straight to prison. I didn't want to be born into this kind of shit. Maybe I wanted a fucking fireplace, a two-story house in a nice neighborhood, or a dad to keep me out of trouble with strict rules."

Edward quiets down a little, merging the car down the road that will take us directly to my house. I don't have to ask him how he knows where I live. I am aware that he has his ways of knowing these things.

"I find it stupid and incredibly annoying when people like you and Mike Newton totally disregard what they have, and still long to be a part of this existence that you know nothing about. It makes me realize just how stupid and ungrateful you spoiled _'rich'_ kids really are."

I open my mouth to retort but his head shake is enough to keep the flurry of aggressive words from spewing out. We've arrived in front of my house now. It's shaded and dark, towering into three-stories, protected by the quintessential white picket fence. Charlie's cruiser is not parked inside of the driveway and I am happy about this. It means I won't have to explain where I've been all of this time.

I wonder if Edward is the one who feels out of place now. There is no evidence on his face that indicates that.

"You're daddy's little princess. Go tuck yourself away inside of your frilly, warm bed." There is contempt inside of his voice but it is not profound. He tilts his head towards my house and a small smirk lifts upon his lips. "You're back where you belong. You're back inside of your world. So stay away from mine."

I do not linger. I open my car door with a dazed mind. I am still trying to process the conversation that Edward and I just had. There are may things rummaging throughout my head, many reasons why I need to take a hot shower and head to bed.

"Thank you Edward." I nod my head appreciatively. "For the ride, I mean."

He offers me nothing in response. There is no "your welcome", no goodbyes, or polite smiles. He puts to car back into drive and skids off. Towards a destination that is unknown to me.

The only thing I can hope is that he makes it home safely back to his brother.

I turn towards my house. Somehow it looks bigger than it's ever been before.

**...**

Since Mike is suspended from school, Charlie has to get up earlier to give me a ride. He mentions the message that I left on his phone yesterday, and asks me how I managed to make it home. I am not a good liar. All I offer is that a friend took me, knowing that if I tried to make the tale more elaborate or more believable, that he would immediately spot something that gave away the lack of my truthfulness.

"You were out late again." I comment lightly during the ride, it's fresh and crisp outside. The morning is new and everything is in order. I want to have an easy early, morning conversation with my father.

But it never quite works out that way.

"I'm still working on Aro's case." Charlie replies gruffly, eyes red from the lack of sleep he rewarded himself last night. My chest constricts slightly. He's going to run himself ragged trying to solve this case, and it hurts to know that I could easily help him. I try to refrain from making a reaction. I let him continue to talk. "We're collecting all of the evidence now."

"Did you find anything noteworthy?" I am just curious. Just to see how safe Edward actually is.

"Well, it seems that the culprits had been staking out Aro's house for a while. They didn't just go in on a whim. They had this well planned out and organized."

I can see that Charlie is not happy about this fact. It's going to make his job that much harder. Even with his diligence I doubt that he'll ever link the crime back to Edward or to Kirkland in general. Carlisle is precise and all of the jobs he sends his boys on are probably done meticulously with clear-cut instructions.

"How do you know they were staking the house out?"

"They knew Aro's schedule down to the tee. When he slept, when he left his home, and when he came back. They made sure to come just after the sunset. That was Monday night and Aro teaches art classes down at the reservation on Monday and Wednesday."

He keeps his eyes focused on the road but they are strained. Kirkland has attachments from many cases that are open now and being investigated. The Aro burlgary is definitely not the only thing Charlie wants to pin on them. It seems however, that there is never enough evidence gathered to bury them in. I have to wonder how many crimes they've committed and gotten away with already.

"All we know is that their point of access was through the window that led to Aro's basement, and here is the killer part of the whole scenario. They'd previously visited the house. They had to have done so several times. On one of their visits they made sure to lodge a tiny rock in the window. That prevented it from closing all of the way. Alarm systems do not arm if any of the protected windows and doors are left open."

"Why did Aro have his basement window open anyway?"

"He said that he was airing out his house last week." Charlie rolls his eyes in irritation. He's never had a thing for Aro. He's always thought the man to be queer. "Apparently, he'd cleaned for some house guests and needed to let out some of the fumes."

"So, they had been there watching him?"

"It seems that way. They entered the house only minutes after he left. The televisions in the living room, den, and master bedroom were taken. The two computers in the basement and his personal laptop were taken. Then finally they made it to the safe in his library."

"How could they possibly have known his combination." I don't even think Edward is devious enough to crack a lock's code. It would have taken them hours to go through the extensive amount of combination possibilities.

"They didn't know it." Charlie clarifies, shaking his head. He is also surprised at the level of accuracy of this crime. The fact that it was so well-performed makes him want to solve it more. "They broke into it."

"Broke into it?" I raise my eyebrows in nothing but curiosity. Edward had not been joking when he'd said that his whole life consisted of crime. He's been getting trained for stuff like this since he was a kid. It must be second nature to him now.

"Mind you that most methods of breaking into a safe require years of experience and training. In addition, extensive knowledge of brands and the countermeasures manufactures build into the safe to protect against brute force are needed."

"So, how did they do it?"

"They knew the safe's blueprints. They knew the easiest route of entry and they used a set of tweezers and a measly paper clip." Charlie shakes his head in exasperation, taking one of his hands off of the wheel to rub his disgruntled face.

Those two simple tools were able to break into an expensive safe, and those Kirkland boys were smart enough to plan out the elaborate ploy. It's just too much. It gets my head reeling.

A rock, a paperclip, and a set of tweezers...

"I do have one thing on whoever the culprit was though." The hope that gathers itself inside of Charlie's tone makes me eye him intently. Something cold flushes throughout me. I think that it's the fear of Masen losing his brother to crime.

"What is it?" I ask, turning to look forward, my tone is bored but not over done. I don't want him to know that I am absolutely drinking in the information that he's been giving me so trustingly. I must be the worst daughter on the face of the earth.

"One of them dropped some sort of necklace behind. It was a locket but there was no picture inside. On the outside, there was some sort of lion with a hand and trefoil at the bottom. It looked like a family crest."

"Did it say anything on it?"

"There was a 206 engraved on the back of it. That is Kirkland's area code and that's what those thugs go around representing themselves with when they vandalize the city with their graffiti."

It's evidence. It's something to go off of. It definitely has solidified Charlie's judgment. He's not backing down from his beliefs of Kirkland being involved. I don't think it is enough to pin anyone though. It's just a necklace. Everyone in Kirkland could have one for all that he knows.

Our conversation comes to an end when he pulls up in front of the school. There is excitement and vibration coming from the students that stand and chat around the parking lot. They're already buzzing with what seems to be today's gossip. I'm just glad that my name is out of the line of fire now.

I kiss Charlie's cheek goodbye and am on my way to class. I don't want to stop by my locker because I know that Eric and the others will be waiting there for me. I'm just not in the mood to engage in meaningless small talk today. I've been carrying some sort of weight around since my conversation with Edward last night. I thought that it would go away once I'd slept it off, but when I woke up this morning I was surprised that the feeling was still sitting in the pit of my stomach.

It's putting me on some sort of edge.

I am one of the first people to arrive for English class. There are two other girls sitting in the back of the room. It's quiet enough for me to make out most of their jittery morning conversation. The excitement that is floating around the school seems to be coming from the fact that there is going to be a party tomorrow night.

That is all I can gather before the bell rings. After that, the class is being flooded by the excited student body. There's no more time to listen to petty gossip. I couldn't have concentrated on it if I'd tried. I decide to take out the project that I failed to start last night, and I get to work, trying to take my mind off of the series of events from last night.

My first few classes are one in the same today. I am alerted about the news of a party over and over again. I don't know what the big deal about this particular party is. Someone throws one at least every other weekend.

Today, I decide that I have to make an appearance in the lunch room. I don't want word getting back to Mike that I've been acting weird. I don't need him questioning me whenever he's allowed to come back to school. We're on neutral terms right now and I like that. We haven't talked since yesterday morning but I know he's gonna call when he needs something from me.

"Hey Bella." Eric greets me nicely, throwing his arm over my shoulder as he jumps everyone in the lunch line that was behind me. No one says anything to him. They never will. At least he is popular and liked. Everyone else in that group is just popular and feared, popular and envied, or popular and hated. I don't understand how they gain satisfaction from knowing people feel that way about them. "Got home safe last night?"

I nod my head, offering him the smallest smile I can muster. I try not to let my gaze linger in the direction of the table that is calling my name. Everything was normal and copacetic when I walked into the cafe. Alice did not acknowledge me, nor did any of the other Kirkland kids, and I offered them the same disregard.

Edward is not present. Neither is Mike. We're all back to our rightful categories. Nothing that happened last night needs to exist outside of our memories. I know that they will never speak on it.

I definitely won't.

People will immediately start to look at me in a different light if they knew that I had any association with Kirkland. I don't want to be branded with the effects of what their poisonous reputations would bring. I am fine just being normal Bella.

"Practice is cancelled today. So I can drop you off." His offer is friendly, though there is something sitting just underneath that hazy level of platonic attraction. Eric knows what is best for him. He'll never act on those fickle feelings he's conjured from his hormones. I am glad that Mike has him in check because the feelings are not mutual on my end.

I know that Eric can't give me what I want. He just doesn't hold the fire.

"That's great." I think about asking him to take me to the bookstore downtown, but I think the less time that I spend alone with Eric is for the better. If not for my benefit, then his. "I really appreciate it."

"Oh, It's no problem Bells." He waves me away as we walk towards our table. "You know you're the only person in this entire school who has the qualities of a sane human being."

I doubt he'll think the same of me if I tell him all of the truths I hide underneath my facade. That's why I keep it to myself and simply smile at his compliment.

Tyler, Angela, Jessica, and Lauren are already sitting at the table. They're cool and collected. They radiate a haughtiness that makes me want to roll my eyes. Their attention turns towards Eric and I upon our arrival. The enthusiasm that they push against us is alerting. They must have heard about the upcoming party as well.

"It's going to be in La Push." Lauren leans forward brightly, snagging a piece of celery off of Eric's tray. He swats her hand away. It's all good. He doesn't like the veggies anyway. "But this time it isn't at Jacob's house."

"I heard that Sam Uley and Emily are hosting the party." Jessica is next to chime in, tossing her brown waves off of her shoulder. "Everyone is going to be there. Kirkland, The Grove, and of course La Push's wolves."

"Then you know we have to make an appearance." Tyler straightens up when he says this, beaming arrogance in its narrowest definition.

I know that I am the only one he isn't extending this invitation to. I never attend parties with them. Charlie doesn't condone that type of activity. But for some reason, the mentioning of Kirkland being there makes me want to check out the scene.

"I already talked to Mike." Jessica admits, fiendishly delighted to be relaying this information. I feel her smugness smack me in the face. It's ironic that she hears more from my boyfriend than I do. "He texted me last hour. We're going to be there."

"What's so great about this party anyway?" I have to question the group for this information. I just don't see why everyone is breaking their necks to get there.

Lauren shrugs her shoulders, indicating that she doesn't care why the party is going to blow up, just that she is going to be there when it does. "Just the fact that Sam Uley's house is practically a mansion. His parents are always out of town. So you know the party is gonna be scandalous."

"Plus I heard there's some kinda beef going on between Kirkland and La Push." Tyler's face darkens with this, casting a quick sideways glance in my direction. "There is supposed to be a huge fight tomorrow. Maybe even Mike can redeem himself."

"Please don't put those types of ideas inside of his head." I am convinced that this group of people were put onto this earth to drive me crazy. There's no type of sense in Mike attempting to challenge Edward a second time. If anyone knows how badly it could end, it's me. "At least wait until his current sores have healed. We wouldn't want Edward blacking his other eye."

"Then how would he see your pretty face Bella?" I hear Jessica's nasally voice from across the table as she gives me a convoluted smile, her resentment is not unnoticed. She hates every girl that has a boyfriend who doesn't immediately fall to their knees at the sign of her beauty.

Maybe if she had a boyfriend of her own she wouldn't have to crave the gratification of male attention. But she's too busy fucking everyone whose already taken. No one wants to take a chance trusting her. She's a lost soul and I can't find it in myself to return her secret feelings of hatred.

"Exactly, my point." That doesn't mean I have to like her though. I will match her snippy tone from pitch to volume. I am not afraid to give her attitude back. There's nothing that can scare me even slightly as much as being in Kirkland did.

Lunch ends on an average note. Eric and I walk to fourth hour together since we share this class. He's chatting away about the football game on Friday. He really wants me to come. I probably won't since Mike won't be there to play. He's the only reason I ever go to those games.

"So, are you going to the party?" We are slipping into our seats now. Class has started.

"Probably." He replies offhandedly, parties aren't really Eric's thing. He only goes because Mike tells him to. "Are you?"

"Probably." His question had been a joke. He's never known me to attend parties before. My vague answer makes him raise his eyebrows in my direction.

"The chief is gonna let you out?"

I shake my head wryly. Never in a million years. Especially since he's busy dealing with this crime and what not. He'd probably have a heart attack if I asked for permission to attend a party in La Push of all places. "Probably not."

"So, you're going to sneak out?" Eric eyes me suspiciously. I don't like the reprimanding expression that is readily taking on the edges of his features.

"You sure ask a lot of questions." I say simply, keeping my annoyance under the wraps.

"That's because you've really been confusing me lately. It's like you're not being yourself."

"I'm not being myself because I want to have fun for once?"

"Parties are not fun for people like you. Reading books is your type of fun." He doesn't even realize that he is being an asshole. His tone is very patronizing. I'm not a little child. I don't know why Eric, my dad, and even Edward thinks so.

"People like me?" I can't quite stop myself from being offended by his words. I know this is exactly how the people from Kirkland must feel. I don't like to be labeled. I let Eric know this when a frown unwillingly takes over my face. "What kind of person am I exactly?"

"Oh, come on Bella." He retreats, raising his hands in surrender. I know he didn't mean harm. He's just being irritating right now. "You know I didn't mean it that way."

"Well, I'd appreciate if you stop acting like I'm made out of glass. This is my last year of high school. I think I deserve to attend at least one house party before I graduate."

"You're right." He says, after a short moment of contemplation. He nods his inky black head but his eyes seem to disagree with the action. "I bet you've never even been wasted before."

"I've never smoked or drank."

"Do you want to?" I still don't like him asking these questions. It's like he's looking for something within my answers, and I don't think that it's something that I want him to find. "It's not really anything spectacular."

"I don't know. I'll see when I get there."

"If you get there..." He challenges playfully, pulling the end of my pony tail.

He knows how strict Charlie is and he knows how much of a crappy liar I am. It's probably going to take some extensive thinking to come up with a lie to fool Charlie with. Why I am going to put myself through so much trouble just to go to a party, I do not know the true answer of that question. It may be the thrill of lying to my dad, or the thrill of going to a party, or maybe even the thrill of knowing danger is going to be there.

"Charlie is probably going to sniff out your lie before you get the chance to get it all the way out."

**...**

That is why I spend the rest of the class period trying to come up with something that doesn't make me seem blatantly dishonest. Hell, I spend the rest of the school day pondering ideas. Eric gives me a lift home as he had promised. I tell him that I will try to call him later tonight if my homework doesn't get in the way. We leave each other on a good note.

Charlie is surprisingly at home when I arrive.

I enter the house to see him sitting in the living room watching a basketball game. He is accompanied by his friend Billy Black who just so happens to be from the reservation. They have pizza thrown onto the coffee table, queso dip, and a couple of coronas.

I forgot that Wednesday was their 'game' day. Charlie ritually throws this two person party every week. He also makes sure to get off of work early for it. I know that if he has been drinking that means that he is loosened up. I'll most likely be able to persuade him into agreeing with my plans now. It's the most convenient time.

I greet them both cordially and charmingly, before plopping down onto the recliner that's stationed next to the couch they're hooting on.

"Hey Charlie." I say, trying to pull his attention away from the game. He barely reacts to me calling his name. "I need to talk to you about something."

"Bella, can't it wait?" His voice is faraway, brown eyes glazed on the television screen. I am surprised that he acknowledged me at all. I thought for sure that the game had him in a trance.

"No, actually it's important."

Someone makes a shot. It's the opposing team. Billy and Charlie jump up in hysterics. They groan, and nag, and I find their underlying youth endearing. I'm glad Charlie still has at least one person he can bond with since Renee left us.

"I have a project do on Friday. It's a big project." This is the genius plan that I could come up with in such short notice. It sounded relevant enough inside of my head. The main part in succeeding with this story is the way I deliver it. I have to be believable and firm, yet brat-like as Edward would say. "Jessica is my partner. So I was wondering if I could stay the night with her tomorrow. That way we could finish the project."

"On a school night?" I can hear him starting to decline, he sits back against the couch with pursed lips. He hasn't taken his eyes away from the television once.

"Yeah, it'll just be easier that way."

"I don't know Bella..." Charlie's grip on me is way too tight. Sometimes I want to yell at him and demand freedom. All of my other friends have curfews that are past midnight, they don't have to check in with their parents every hour if they decide to leave the house, and they definitely are allowed to spend the night at each other's houses.

Even on school nights.

"Come on Dad, you can trust me." I make sure I am not being disrespectful with my tone, but his suffocating tactics are more bothersome to me now than they've ever been. "I am about to be eighteen. I've never done anything for you to doubt me before."

Using the innocent card is highly hypocritical of me. I am planning on doing the exact thing that he is worried about. I am going to betray his trust. It thrills me as much as it saddens me to know this.

"Oh, let her go Charlie. She's a good kid." Billy claps his hand down on Charlie's back. It causes Charlie to spill some of his beer onto the floor. This is somehow, hilarious to both of them. They start cracking up. "Just be glad that she's not like Jake and those hooligans that he hangs out with."

Jake and I actually grew up together. Our fathers being friends made it impossible not to see each other. He used to be a good kid. He always got good grades, won the school wide spelling-bees, and played with mud pies instead of toy guns.

I don't know what happened to him. But he's wild now and Charlie doesn't allow Billy to bring him over anymore. He doesn't want any _'bad influences'_ rubbing off on me. I can't say that I miss him. He was always slightly annoying to me, but I'm sure it'll be nice to see him again after all of these years.

"I guess..." He begins to say, not very confident in his choice. It is probably going against all of his paternal instincts to deliver me this yes. "I'm trusting you."

I don't show him how ecstatic I am. That would only make him suspicious. I simply reward his permission with a kiss on the cheek and a quick thank you. I retreat into the comfort of my room before he has the chance to ask me any more questions, or possibly even revoke his hesitant consent.

Mike is the first person that I call. He is on board with me going to the party. He is even more excited than I am. I guess he likes to show me off. There's never a better time to show off your goods than during a house party. Jessica is the next person. I ask her if I can stay the night at her house and she agrees after getting the okay from her mother. It's likely not the ideal situation, being stuck with Jessica through the night, but it is something I must deal with. Eric is the final phone call that I deliver through the night. We talk until we fall asleep. About the party, about the game on Friday, about Kirkland, and I never once tell him how much I actually know about what sits so plainly on the other end of those wooden train tracks.

The next day of school is only a whisper to my psyche. Charlie drops me off, classes are eternal, the gossip has reached it's maximum capacity, and this time Jessica is the one who gives me a ride. Today the only thing that struck my interest at all was the fact that the Kirkland table was completely void of its members at lunch today.

I have to wonder what they are up to. It can't just be a coincidence that they all decided to skip school today, when there's supposedly the biggest party ever thrown in Washington occurring tonight.

It's sketchy to say the least.

I have to stay after school with Jessica. Even though football practice was canceled, the cheerleaders still had to meet in the gym. When it is over, we go back to her house. I have my overnight bag already packed and ready. It's going on seven and the party doesn't start until nine.

I'm wired up. I'm jittery. On the inside, I cannot believe that I am actually going through with this. I have never done anything this bold before. It's a wonder what one day in Kirkland has done for me.

"So, what are you going to wear Bella?" Jessica asks curiously, sitting at the white vanity inside of her room. She's staring at her reflection in the mirror, as if being in love with yourself isn't ridiculously superficial. "Since this is your first party you have to make a statement."

I think about the jeans and button down that I'd packed the night before. I wasn't really thinking when I was choosing my clothes. I was too excited by the fact that Charlie was letting me go at all, to even think about coordinating the perfect outfit for my debut.

"I was actually wondering if I could borrow something out of your closet." I say this instead of facing the ridicule Jessica surely would have thrown my way if she'd seen my bland choice of clothes. "I don't have a lot that's suited for a house party."

"Do you want to go casual, you wanna look dressy, edgy, or what?" Jessica turns in my direction, she's probably glad that I am coming to her for help. It'll do well to boost her staggering ego. "You're always painfully casual though. So you should try to pick between the other two."

I almost snap at her intended quip. I decide not to give her the satisfaction. "Do whatever you want with me."

"Oh Bella." She says deviously, wringing her hands together in playful intimidation. "You really shouldn't have said that."

Jessica and Lauren always complain about how much they want to do my hair or make up. They do it so I can think that there's something especially significant that needs to be fixed on me. Mike doesn't seem to think so. But I still agree to let her have her fun tonight. I do actually want to be someone different, someone thrilling, someone that can catch anyone's eye.

An hour and a half later, I am freshly washed and perfumed. My hair is teased, wavy, and pinned to the side so that it falls over the left end of my face and exposes the right side of my neck. I told Jessica to keep the makeup light. I am fair-skinned so I don't like to be bogged down with exuberant colors.

She gives me the cat eye and a nude lip gloss. There is little to no foundation applied to my skin, just concealer underneath my eyes where the sleep circles show.

I am dressed in black, leather leggings. They wrap around my waist like spandex. I am about one pants size larger than Jessica so the tightness of the leggings accentuate the curves of my hips very boldly. I think I look better in them than Jessica ever hoped to. I am wearing a gold, sequenced peplum top with a bustier that has my breasts sitting up and perky. I do not look slutty. It's revealing but in a classy way. I am still for leaving much to the imagination rather than putting everything on full display.

Since I am accident prone, Jessica doesn't stick me with stilettos. She offers the studded black booties instead. They are platforms which makes the heel thicker and easier to balance on. The height accentuates the length of my legs. I am not naturally statuesque like Rosalie, but these booties give off the impression that I am.

I look edgy and sexy, not at all like a little girl. I find myself wondering what Mike will think, or Eric, or Edward.

Jessica looks pretty scrumptious herself. She makes sure to spend delicate time pampering her appearance into perfection. She likes the bold eye as well, her lips are tinted hot pink, and she settles for a lacy skater dress that matches the color of her vibrant lipstick. It is cinched around the waist with a braided belt, doing even more wonders for her waist than the strappy heels on her feet does for her legs. She looks like a beautiful monster, one that shouldn't have to be reminded of how stunning she is by every male in sight.

We spend the next hour or so chit-chatting. This is all we can do to pass the time. Mike is supposed to be picking us up. He is taking his mother's truck so we can all ride together. Jessica tells me that it's all about how you enter a party that will determine how you are talked about after it is over.

Mike wants to enter with his crew and his girl. He doesn't care about the black eye. He's making the statement that nothing can keep him down. I just hope that he doesn't try to fuck up our night by approaching Edward again.

The Kirkland kids have more to worry about than some insecure football player who can't accept his loss for what it is.

"I think Mike is outside." Jessica announces, after we hear the sound of a car horn outside of her house. We look out the window to find Mike's Infiniti sitting in the driveway waiting for us. Lauren, Tyler, Angela, and Eric are already seated inside of the car. "Let's go, so Mike can see how sexy you look."

I perk up at this idea because right now I think I am the shit. There is nothing but exhilaration coursing through out my blood stream. There is enough vigor for me to get drunk off of.

It's not hard to see Mike's appreciation when I approach the driver's door. His eyes rake over mine, in a way that tells me he's glad to claim me as his. The blue darkens.

He leans forward and kisses me roughly, drawing me to his pulsating body with no abandon. A spark flies between us and I wonder if this is how Tanya feels when Edward kisses her.

"Damn Bella." Mike finally says, once I take my rightful spot in the passenger's seat. "You're aiming to turn heads tonight, huh?"

"Only yours." I say it just the way I know he'll like it, a small smile crosses his boyish face in satisfaction.

"I guess I'm gonna have to beat some ass tonight..." He gets the crew hyped up, blasting booming his music and roaring on about how the party is about to crack. "Because if anyone looks at my girl the wrong way it's going down!"

**...**

I've never been to a real house party. I've seen plenty on television. I've heard lots about them. It's exactly what I expect it to be. We can hear the music reverberating through the speakers in Sam's house from three streets over. The road is so packed that we have to park the truck around the corner and walk the rest of the way.

The party house is easy to spot. It is where the hordes of teenagers post around the fences and porch. Some people have yet to go in, some are stumbling along the sidewalk, and some are standing around conversing, smoking weed, and drinking from bottles that hold unholy substances.

The flashing lights are visible from the uncurtained living room windows. Sam's house is very big. La Push is more than a few steps up from Kirkland but only in certain areas. There are some parts of La Push, namely The Reservation, that is just as dangerous as being in Kirkland is.

I am taking all of my surroundings in like a toddler. Everything that appeals to my sense of smell, sight, sound, touch, and taste is going to be soaked in tonight. I am not nervous but I am anxious.

"Sam, what's up?" Tyler greets Sam Uley first.

Sam is one of the people who stand on the porch. Emily is at his side taking swigs from a plastic cup that's probably the house of some sort of alcoholic drink. He looks to Tyler with casual recognition. They're not close friends but they know each other from around the way. They're cool. That's about as defined as it gets.

"Are your parents in Madrid again?"

"Nah, this time they're in Maui." He chuckles lightly, shaking Tyler's hand and pulling him into a brief hug. There is an easiness coming from him. He seems laid-back and not the _'all in your face'_ type. I am grateful for this breath of fresh air. "They'll be back tomorrow night and all of this will be history."

"I can tell this party is crazy. We haven't even stepped in yet."

"Well, go get something to drink. They're passing around some dank inside the kitchen." A mischievous smile captures his mouth. "And there's an abundance of horny females giving themselves away in there."

This is our cue to enter. When we step inside, we do it accordingly. Mike and I are in the front. Tyler walks with Lauren and Jessica on either of his sides. Eric and Angela adorn the back.

The house is like the inside of a gigantic beast. It is grumbling to life with all of the things our parents have tried their hardest to keep us away from. I can feel the bass of the music inside of my chest. The surround sound almost knocks me down with the way it spits out the songs in exemplified bellows. There are a series of very distinct smells churning together to create one redolent aroma cloud over the entire house. Vomit, booze, cigarette smoke, sex, sweat, and god knows what else adorns the air. People are brushing against me as they move past, some are drunkenly stumbling and others are attempting to dance. Some of the faces are familiar but a lot of them are not.

"Do you want a drink Bella?" Mike has to lean in close to me, his lips are right next to my ears and I still have to strain to hear what he says.

"That sounds great." I reply, following his lead as he pushes an allowable path into the horde of gyrating bodies that occupy the entirety of the living room.

The others follow our lead into the kitchen. It it less crowded around the food and drink table, but admittedly not by much. Mike makes his moves by shoving past the people who are in his way. They are either too drunk, too high, or too used to being pushed around by now to get upset by his brashness.

There are wine coolers laid among the tables, beer, vodka, amesterdam, gin, and a variety of fruit juices. No one here is a day over twenty-one. I wonder where they snagged all of this liquor from but it's clear they have excellent resources. There are chips, cookies, and other sugary snacks also. I am not very much in the mood to eat though.

Mike takes two plastic red cups from the stack and picks up the orange juice and vodka.

"This is called a screwdriver Bella." He says loftily, placing the cup up to my lips. He watches me take a small sip from the beverage before handing it over to me. "A few of these will get you fucked up."

The juice to vodka ratio is uneven. I taste more of the bitter tang from the alcohol than the sweetness from the fruit juice. I always knew that liquor was not particularly tasty. It smells strong and tastes even stronger. It isn't that bad. I like the way it slightly burns my throat when it moves through my esophagus. It makes me feel like I'm doing something that I'm not supposed to do.

I feel like a good girl with bad intentions.

"Lets take our drinks to the dance floor." I suggest to Mike, peering up at him from under my dark lashes. He sees the sultry flash within my eyes. It burns into him. I make sure he knows that I want him tonight. I press my lips near the shell of his ear, whispering slowly as I flicker my tongue against his skin. "I want to be wild tonight."

"Are you trying to get fucked or fucked up Bella?" His voice matches my whisper, but he's grinning at me with all of the lustful intent his body can hold without imploding. "Because I can make both happen."

We set off toward the impromptu dance floor, leaving our friends behind to discover their own ways of entertainment. I sip from my drink as Mike and I find a spot to settle into. He leans his back against a wall near the staircase and I lean against him, moving my hips slowly to the beat of the music. One of his hands wrap around my waist to guide my movements, the other hand holds his drink up to his lips.

"So, what made you want to come to this party Bella?"

I don't know the answer to that question. Not the honest one anyway.

His question makes me become more alert. I scan the perimeter of the cramped room for something. I don't know exactly what I'm looking for, but it's definitely not inside of this house yet.

I come to realize that I do not see Edward. Maybe he is who I'm unknowingly seeking out. I find it odd that his presence is void since there was big talk about him being here. I find it even more odd when I spot Tanya and her sisters. They are in the center of the room giving a show to the La Push boys. The way they dance against each other looks like sex with clothes on.

If they came here to capture the audience, then they have surely succeeded.

There are two things wrong about this though : First, I heard rumors earlier today about Kirkland being into it with La Push. If that is the case, why is Tanya's blond-haired trio associating with them at all? Second, where is Edward at? Does he really give Tanya free reign to do whatever she wants, including giving their rivals promiscuous lap dances?

My pondering comes to an abrupt end when Mike yanks my hips flush against him. The roughness inside of his maneuvers excite something inside of me. "You still haven't answered my question."

"I wanted you to show me off." I answer with demure, trying to think of what Tanya feels when she is around Edward, and replicate that sort of superior confidence.

"Yeah?" He likes this answer, his grip tightens infinitesimally.

I nod my head coyly, offering him one of my more duplicitous smiles.

"You wanna make the room jealous Bella?" He asks at my ear, warm breath tickling my nerves, igniting me. "Then give them something to be jealous about."

I start dancing slowly against, letting the slow beat move through me. My ass is rotating on Mike and it is awakening the side of him that gets me flustered. I hear him murmuring things behind me. He says that I'm beautiful, that he wants to fuck me, that I am his.

It ignites me but it doesn't surge adrenaline throughout my entire being. I'm looking for that rush. The one that I felt yesterday night. The one that I am so afraid to feel again.

Jessica bounds up to us just as the song is coming to an end. She has no idea what she is interrupting or that she is uninvited. Her features are slack and twisted. I can tell that she has had way more drinks than Mike and I combined.

"Ooh, I love this song. Can I steal him away Bella?" She acts like her intentions are completely genuine. Jessica is exactly the kind of person that I can see right through. She's the saddest liar that I have ever laid eyes upon. "For just one second?"

"Sure." I consent even though I don't want to. I have to use the bathroom. That is probably the only reason I agree to leave her alone with him. "I'll be back soon."

I meander my way back towards the front of the room, walking into one of the people I had not expected to see tonight. The mass amount of peoples in this house make it hard to seek any one person out. Jacob Black smiles down at me with a smile enhanced by more than just weed or booze. I am astonished to take in the person he's grown into.

He has filled out over the years. He is no longer skinny, no longer excessively lanky, no longer rocking the long ponytail. His hair is chopped and cropped, making it a lot easier to see his striking features. He is so tall that he towers over me, his eyes are dark and kind, he's tan-skinned, and muscular. He's grown up to be a very handsome menace.

"Whoa, didn't expect to see you here. How long has it been? Five years at least?" He wraps his bulky arm around my shoulders without permission. He doesn't feel wrong though. I have no urge to push him away. Underneath all of that sex appeal is still the little teddy bear of a boy that I remember him as. "Charlie actually let you off of your leash?"

"Charlie actually doesn't know."

"So, you're doing it big time now huh?" His laughs are loud and hearty. He is exuberant. I don't usually feel comfortable around strangers, but Jake is a different type of stranger. He's my long-lost best friend. "Who are you here with?"

"My boyfriend and a couple of our friends." I say nicely, leaning towards him more so that we can hear each other.

"Oh, so Newton is here? I guess I'd better steer clear." Jacob is only half-way joking. Mike does have a reputation and it precedes him immensely. Jake never had been the fighting type and I still don't think that he is. He's charismatic and cool. I can't imagine many people wanting to fight him. " I don't want him thinking I'm making any moves."

"It's fine. We're old friends Jake."

He beams at that, swaggering a little to the side. I watch him with weary eyes. Almost sure that he is going to topple over. "Hey, can we exchange numbers?"

"Sure, what is yours?" I pull out my phone, expecting him to answer my question. I forgot that he's high off of his rocks. He probably can't even remember where he lives right about now. "Never mind. Just give me your phone. I'll save my number into your contacts."

"My fingers are too heavy. I crack everyone I get." He hands me a cracked Iphone, grinning widely, when he sees the amusement play across my face. "You think that's funny Bella?"

"No." I put my number into his contacts underneath the name 'Jellybean'. That is what he used to call me back when we were kids. Once the phone is tucked safely back into his back pocket, we stand for a few lingering moments. I find myself with less with things to say and more with an urge to relieve myself. "Jake do you know where the bathroom is?"

"Oh, yeah. There's one right up those stairs to the right." All of the Quiluetes hang out together. Jake has to be one of Sam's best friends. I expect him to know the layout of this house. I probably have no hope of finding Sam himself, and I'd definitely get lost trying to navigate through this chaos without directions. "If it's being used there is also one connected to the first room to the left."

"Thanks Jake." I turn to leave but quickly remember to remind him. "Text me later okay?"

He nods his head and becomes swallowed by the crowd. I think about the debauchery he's going to get himself into tonight and picture Harry's face when he told my father to be thankful that I wasn't like Jake. My chest constricts with guilt but I waste no more time pushing my way to the staircase. The amount of people steadily decreases towards the top of the stairs.

I guess Sam has deemed this part of the house off limits. It makes sense. His parents rooms are on this floor. If anything gets broken or stolen he would undoubtedly be busted.

I rumble with the directions Jacob has given me, towards what appears to be the bathroom. I wriggle a doorknob in my hand that has been locked. I lightly rap on the door, trying to stay attuned to the slurring noises that can be heard on the other side of it.

"Hello?" I call.

The person on the other end doesn't say anything in response. There are grumbling noises, rocking sounds, and even low moans. I step away from the door with warm cheeks, not wanting to think about whatever that person (or people) are doing in that locked bathroom.

I decide to check out the room on the left side of the hallway, the door is slightly cracked, I can't see inside. I suppose if anyone was in there they would have locked the door like those people who are hogging the bathroom. I take the crystal knob between my fingers and push into the room, preparing myself for any obscene situations I may find myself into.

I am not prepared to see Edward however.

He is standing near what looks like a wooden jewelry box. There is is a black Jansport on his back. He is startled by my unannounced entrance, jumping marginally, when the door creaks upon my arrival.

His face is stern at first, expecting to face someone that might be a threat to him. His shoulders droop in surprise when he sees that it is me. He straightens his posture out, less defensive, less ready to make a move upon an opponent.

"What are you doing out of your crib, Princess?" He mocks me quietly, tilting his head towards my direction in amusement. "Isn't it way past your bedtime?"

"What's in the book bag?" I ask curiously, understanding the gist of what I just walked into. Edward is scouring what looks like the master bed room in Sam's house. This room most likely belongs to Sam's mother and father, This is where she keeps her all of her precious jewelry stashed away. This is where she expects her treasures to lay safely.

"Hopefully, not cubic zirconia." He shrugs out indifferently, chuckling as he tightens the straps around his broad shoulders. "Jewels aren't worth much if they're not real diamond."

"Well, don't drop anything." I suggest quietly, finding myself back rooted into the stillness that had captured me last time I found myself alone with him. I am stricken now, at the highest level of adrenaline I could have possibly met in this night. He excites me. The darkness that flares around him makes me lose my breath. He is dangerous.

"What?" His eyes narrow, he questions me challengingly, something serious and ominous lacing the contours of his velvety voice.

"Charlie found a necklace at Aro's house. It has the 206 on the back of it." I don't know why I release this vital information to him when I didn't release any vital information to Charlie. Either way I go about it, the info I keep to myself or say aloud will make me a betrayer on someone's end.

"Fuck." Edward swears under his breath angrily, shaking his head as he stalks over to the dressers to check them out. He pulls upon the drawers and begins sifting through the content that they hold, taking the stuff he finds important for himself. "Carlisle's gonna flip his lid."

"Don't worry. Your crime was executed flawlessly." I still have word-vomit. Things are flying from between my lips before I have the chance to think about the consequences of them. My filter seems to have evaporated around him. "He doesn't have much evidence on you."

Edward only smiles for a short second, before turning to face me with those intense greens. "It's what we do. It's all we know."

"And you're on a mission right now?" I wonder, flickering my eyes to the jewelry box that is now empty and void. I can only imagine what Mrs. Uley's reaction will be when she finds all of her priceless charms gone.

"More or less." This is all he is willing to say about it. He makes sure to keep himself clipped. I take note of his frigidness. It isn't intentionally directed upon me. It's just an aura he omits to people that are not close to him. "Is Tanya still down there distracting those idiots?"

"Proficiently." I remember earlier, seeing her hypnotizing everyone with the way her body was moving so gracefully.

"Jazz and Emmett are scoping every square inch of this house for anything valuable." Edward nods his bronzed head, seemingly satisfied.

I'm standing in the same room with a criminal. I'm enabling him. I'm encouraging him...

I cock my head to the side questioningly, this is worse than the fight I had expected to see to night. This not only affects Sam but it also affects his parents as well. "Is this your revenge against La Push?"

"What revenge?" He rolls the green of his eyes heavenward, dark rumblings of hidden amusement wrack his body. I am confused. I don't not know where he is getting the humor from. "I have nothing against them."

"That's not what's going around the halls at school." I tell him, knowing that he couldn't have been aware of the stories about he and Sam planning to duke it out at the party tonight. None of them had been at school today.

"So, the rumor worked huh?" His brows are raised, there is lightness on his face, smugness in every other part of him. Whatever is going on, seems to be exactly what he'd wanted in the first place.

"I don't understand."

"Well, I needed _something_ to get all of these people hyped up. The house is packed. They're expecting a fight that's never going to come. "

He is explaining this to me with pure arrogance, and I am beginning to see that Edward really is a mastermind. I thought my lying to Charlie had been elaborate. This is just crazy, so systematically devised, so smart and cunning. This is exactly why I have to keep myself from trusting him. He is devious all of the way to the core.

"With all of those people down there, no one paid any attention to me and my boys slipping our way into the restricted parts of the house. Tanya's keeping them occupied, we're getting the goods, and then we're out."

"Why all of this if there's no beef?"

"Because we need to money and we're helping out an ally." He says this easily, as if the reasoning doesn't matter. They're doing it because this is what they decided to do. No one is going to stop them. So who cares what the reason is? "One of Sam's own boys is against him. That's the only way we were able to devise this plan so smoothly."

I wonder which one of them had something to do with it. It is such a harsh reality to see the dirty truth of things. People can't be trusted, danger lurks in the corners of our lives whether we want it to or not, and sometimes we don't understand why we are attracted to some things.

We just are.

I am about to comment on something that he's said, but the chiming of our simultaneous text tones spring into the silence that has arrived around us.

I pull out my phone, assuming that he does the same, assuming that we both got the same message since they just happened to occur so suddenly at the same time.

I only receive one word. I don't even look to see who sent me the text. All I know is that my heart stops.

_COPS!_

The party is about to be raided and I am stuck on the second floor with Edward Cullen. There's no way we can run down the stairs and not get caught. If the police see me, I am going to be in deep shit with Charlie. If the police see Edward, he's probably going to get arrested on the spot.

_And then the world is crumbling around us. Our lives flashing as we sink into the abyss..._


	5. Scalene

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* * *

**CHAPTER 5 : **

**SCALENE **

_"We all want to be special_

_We do the same things in the same ways_

_We do the things that keep us accepted_

_When we're all working for the same goal_

_The same goal of being special_

_None of us are special. _

_And none of us are different."_

* * *

Edward does receive the same text as I did. The string of rugged profanities he spits out of his mouth alerts me to this. I watch him with wide eyes as he rakes his hands through his disarray of copper hair.

"Lock that fucking door Bella." He orders, moving towards the jewelry box again. I rush to his command because the affirmation inside of his voice is hard to ignore. I put the lock into place, pressing my back against the cool wood, as I try to figure out what he is doing.

He shoves the weighty jewelry box out of the way of the large bay window. This surprises me because I had not been expecting that. His sole attention is focused on getting the window unlocked. I am not following his train of logic since we are stuck on the second floor.

When I move closer, I see that outside the window the roof is flat. The kind in the movies where those snobby kids sneak out of their rooms at night and somehow manage to climb down to meet their eager friends. This window is facing the backyard, which is convenient since the fence that leads to the neighbor's house can easily be hopped without being detected.

Edward pulls open the window and doesn't waste time pulling himself out on the other side. His moves are agile and swift. He's already making his way along the length of the roof when I step out of the window. It's like his mind is in overdrive. He's not even paying me any mind. I see him searching around for a way down. There is no ladder, no rope, no handy device that might aid in our escape.

He curses under his breath again. I am stupefied with watching him in action. He begins pacing after a few seconds, pulling at his hair again. A moment hits him suddenly, as if the most genius of ideas crash into him, his pacing stops and he peers down to study how high we are in the air. He takes the backpack from around his back, tossing it into the bushes that are directly below us.

"Wait, Edward." I say in panic, realizing that he is about to do something incredibly stupid. "What are you planning on doing?"

He looks my way, like he only now remembers that I am here with him. "What does it look like, Princess? I'm gonna jump."

"You'll break your legs!" I exclaim, peering over the edge to see how far the drop is.

"It's not that far of a jump. The most I'll do is sprain my ankle." I guess a sprained ankle is nothing compared to doing time in the big house. He looks determined and not the least bit fearful. I feel my dismay rising. This time I don't think it's the word-vomit coming up.

There is no more time given for small talk. He makes his move, stepping back a couple of feet, before kick-starting and propelling himself forward. He stretches the jumps as long as he can and then gravity drags him down to the ground. His body hits the grass with a whoosh of expelling air, the momentum keeps him tucked and rolling uncontrollably for a few lingering seconds.

When he is completely unraveled, he sits up with his hand to his head. There is a small cut on his cheek but he definitely didn't split his head open so that's a plus. It doesn't take him much longer to gather himself up. His moving is delayed because he is winded, and he was dead-on about the sprain, his shuffle is now imbalanced with a slight limp.

His only goal is to retrieve the book bag with the stolen jewels and find himself a safe spot out of the police's unwavering radar. I am horrified and maybe even a little insulted that he doesn't think to help me.

"Edward! Wait!" I scream-whisper his name, frantically at that, when he starts nearing the wire fence that will lead him away from this house. "Wait! Please, Help me!"

He stops near the shadows of the towering trees that lean over the gate from the other yard. His eyes are serious when they lock onto mine. He almost looks like he is about to tell me to go fuck myself, but that expression changes when he sees how terrified I am.

"Jump." He says immediately, as if that's the obvious thing I should have done. "You just have to take the pain."

"Fuck no." I retort, shaking my head at his gall. I'm not a daredevil like him. I can't take pain and I believe that he knows this.

He regards me with perceptive eyes from where he stands, "Well, try to climb down the lattice."

I turn to my left to see the white, decorative wood structure maneuvering its way from the very top of the house to the bottom. It looks flimsy and it definitely wouldn't have held Edward's weight without breaking. I am careful with my steps, less erratic than Edward had been. He hadn't even thought about his decision all the way through before he jumped off of the roof. I have to wonder how much that hastiness gets him in trouble and how much it ends up helping him.

It's not easy finding my way to the ground. The holes in the lattice aren't large enough to make for a good ladder, but I try to make it work since it is the only alternative I have to jumping off of the roof or getting busted. The booties I have on make it significantly more difficult to fit my feet into the little spaces as I try to transcend myself onto the ground. I have to stop several times when it feels like I am beginning to lose my balance, grasping so tightly on the wood that splinters are cutting into my skin.

There comes a part where I must have dazed away or not paid enough attention, my trajectory is off key and I miss a step, a space where I am supposed to put my foot. This sends me skidding down the lattice, trying to grab onto anything that might obstruct my falling, I feel the cool sensation of dread ram into me before I hit the ground.

Only the ground doesn't make it to me before Edward does. I had not even noticed him moving from out of his hiding spot, but he manages to cross the yard in time to catch me before I have the chance to bust my ass. The way I was falling wouldn't have ended in the say way Edward's jump did. I would have really hurt myself, immobilized myself, if his arms wouldn't have wrapped around me in time.

"I got you." He says suddenly, firmly. I realize that my feet are safely on the ground now. I look down incredulously and then back up at him. "You're fine. Come on."

The sound of police sirens is the only thing that I can hear. That and the rambunctious sound of teenagers zooming off in their cars. I wonder how many people were able to make their way out of that party, and I wonder how many people are in handcuffs right now.

Edward clears the fence rather effortlessly, with one hand, and nothing but nimbleness. His sprained foot is not slowing him down at all. He's already moving methodically through the next yard by the time I have finished pulling myself onto the other side of the fence. I realize our stark differences in the way he moves. Edward is strong and agile, where I am soft and slightly bogged down.

"Edward, wait." I call to him softly, it's dark all around us. I guess this makes for a good escape but I can hardly see Edward since he is moving so quickly. The faint sound of chirping crickets is obscured by the leaves that crunch under the weight of Edward's feet. The shadow of his silhouette is vague. It is illuminating and towering. I watch his trudging come to a short stop and he turns to face me as I hurriedly approach him. "What are you doing?"

"Hopping the fences." He replies, wiping his dirty hands over his face. I want to tell him to stop because he is getting muck into the cut on his cheek.

"Why?" I ask, glad that he allowed us to stop and catch a breath. I am tired and charged at the same time. My heart is crashing so loudly against my rib cage, it is a wonder that Edward can't hear the thunderous sound himself.

"Because it'll lead us at least two streets over." He turns to face the next three fences that we're going to have to move over. It doesn't look like a very far distance but I still don't welcome the struggle I know is going to accompany my efforts to get over these fences with platforms on. "Plus it's dark in these yards. We'll have a better chance being unseen."

I look up at him with raised brows, keeping my voice light I ask, "Well, can you try to stop moving so fast?"

"Only if you can try harder to keep up." He retorts, voice like liquid velvet, flashing a wry smile in my direction. "You hop fences like a priss."

"I don't know what else you were expecting." He's only joking, his mocking is partly lighthearted. It still irritates me in some way though. I'm not even remotely like him, or like Tanya, or like Alice. I am not used to these sort of things.

"I wasn't expecting anything." He murmurs softly, against everything that is quiet around us. His attitude is still one of indifference, he still feels impersonal to be around, and I still know that I shouldn't be conversing with him like this. "I was planning on leaving your ass up there on the roof."

"That would have been rather..."

"_Kirkland_ style of me?" He quips with a sarcastic scoff, making his move into the darkness again, without a heads up for me. I fall into step behind him, making sure to move faster and more dauntingly to keep up with his sprightly trek. He doesn't hold up with his end of the bargain because he does not adjust his speed at all.

"I wasn't going to say anything like that." I say from behind him, in a voice that indicates my docile approach. I don't want any problems with him. This is about the third times he's come to aid, and he definitely does not owe me anything. I want to let him know that if he feels like I'm judging him, I am not doing it purposely, it's just something that's been ingrained within me.

It's been ingrained within all of us. It's hard to break away from something that's been shoved down your throat your whole life. I keep trying to draw unbiased opinions about Kirkland and its inhabitants, but the way my friends and family view them and the things that I've seen for myself make it difficult. One moment they're criminals and the next moment they're doing kind deeds.

I don't know which side of them to believe. That is why I stay weary of them. That is why being intrigued by them is not a good thing.

He does not stop or even look in my direction, he keeps straight ahead, silently brewing until he finds the right words to say. "But you were thinking it."

"Oh, so you're a mind reader now?" I question, rolling my eyes at the fact of his hypocrisy. He tends to judge me just as much as I judge him. "I find it thoroughly irritating that you think you know me so well."

His voice is surer than it has ever been. That is why it irritates me so much. "I know you better than you know yourself."

"I doubt that." I reply levelly, doing well to push my growing displeasure towards the back of my mind.

"I am very perceptive." He says this smugly, and it's for damned sure. I've never met anyone more perceptive than he is. I guess that is a proficiency you hone up on when you always have to be quick to understand and discern people and situations.

"Perceptions can easily be distorted." I try to counter this with some logic.

"Not mine." He always has something to say back, something to make the anger inside of me start rising.

This slips from the tip of my tongue before I have the chance to draw it back. It's like acid. It burns so I drop it right onto him. "You're so self-righteous."

My insult doesn't perturb him in the slightest, in fact he throws one back at me almost instantly. "And you're a spoiled brat."

I am rendered silent then. I have no idea where Edward learned to be that rude. The way he delivers his comeback so ardently makes me realize that he really means this. That is really what he thinks of me. My inability to speak is just what he wants. He welcomes it eagerly and without much of a reaction. For the rest of the walk we move in a synchronized reserve.

The last fence we have to hop surrounds the house that sits on the end of a corner. We quietly round the side of the house, weaving through its lush front yard, and coming to an abrupt stop on the sidewalk. Edward slips his phone out of the back pocket of his Levi's. I'm not surprised that there's a small crack across the length of his screen. It's a wonder the glass hadn't shattered completely when he landed so roughly after his jump.

He appears to check some text messages, and send some replies, most likely a conversation concerning the crew's success in this particular mission.

After a couple of minutes, he turns to face me. "You're safe now."

He says this as if it is a parting gesture. My eyebrows find each other in the middle of my forehead as I gauge his expression. He's done a lot of astonishing things tonight. I didn't think there was any room left for him to surprise me.

"So, you're just going to leave me here?" I look around at the unfamiliar setting. I am in another neighborhood that I know nothing about. We're at a crossroads and there are four possible directions to take. I'm sure my friends are riding around looking for me now, but I do not want to stand alone and wait for them to find me.

There must have been something unintentionally uncouth in the tone of my voice because he frowns at me after I am done speaking.

"Look, I helped you get down from the roof. I made sure you didn't get your tiara taken from your daddy..." His eyes sharpen around the edges as he peers down at me. "So, I think I'm pretty much done here. I don't know why you think just because you're from Forks that people are obligated to do anything for you."

"I don't think that." I say quickly. "It's just that I don't know my way around this place."'

"I told you to stay in your lane. You must not be very good at heeding warnings." There is a dark humor on his face as he regards me, eyes leaving a trail of heat down my body where his interest takes me in. I think this is the first time tonight that he's paid attention to how dolled up I am. He'd been too preoccupied to notice before, now I see something twitch onto his expression, an amusement at my efforts perhaps. "What's a princess like you doing at a party like this anyway?"

"I wanted to have fun."

"Or maybe you just wanted an excuse to see me again." He raises his eyebrows. I am blown away by how self-important he makes himself out to be. The look on his face tells me that he wouldn't have believed me even if I'd wasted my breath trying to deny his assumption. "That is a very dangerous notion Bella. Getting tangled up with me will only end badly."

"You sound like my father." I hear enough of that unreasonableness at home. I don't need him to dish it out as well.

"Maybe you should start listening to him." Edward points down the street. It looks to be about a five minute walk. I see a parking lot and some sort of food place. "That's where I'm heading."

"Where's your car?" I don't know what time he arrived at the party but if it wasn't within the first ten minutes, then I doubted he was able to find a parking space close to the house.

"We parked at least fifteen minutes away. The cops were probably tagging every license plate they could find." Of course I should have expected this from him. He is always thought out and calculated.

"Is that a Chinese restaurant?" I ask curiously, straining my eyes to make out the sign down the street. I wonder why he is heading in that direction. What significance is there? I don't ask this question out loud because I am pretty sure he wouldn't have allowed me an answer.

"Looks like it's still open." He nods his head, pushing messy bronze tresses out of his eyes. "You can probably call your friends and wait inside there for them."

I agree to that plan. I don't like being in unfamiliar territories. People may hesitate to bother me in Forks, but my reputation means nothing here in La Push. Even if this is one of the better neighborhoods around this area, I don't want to take the chance of walking into trouble. "Better than standing out here in the open."

"Yeah, because you're sure to attract unwanted attention to yourself while you're dressed like that." His lips mold into a suggestive smirk. "Who were you trying to impress tonight, Princess?"

"My boyfriend." It leaves my mouth confidently but it feels faulty. Nothing I ever say to Edward comes out with the firm or assertion that I would prefer. It's like I lose all of my magma around him, he turns my embers stone cold, because I know that I can't get anything past him without him immediately recognizing the truthful or phoniness of it.

He regards me heavily. "I hope he showed his appreciation thoroughly," He says, grinning through his sardonic expression.

What's underneath his tone is unmentionable, it sends a force rummaging through my vital organs. My lungs stop and I can't breathe. Almost simultaneously, my heart beats come faster. The fire inside of his eyes are giving me a heart attack.

I fight to push the blush that's adamant on giving my uneasiness away back to wherever it stemmed from. Deciding reverently, to change the subject. "I see that you dressed for the occasion as well."

He is doused in all black. From the cuffed skinny jeans, the Volcom hoodie, to the grass stained Vans on his feet. He meant to blend in tonight, to stay under the radar, and it worked out in his favor just like he knew it would.

We start walking towards the take-out place, this time our pace is matched and casual. We're not trudging through the trenches of dense backyards. We're just meandering down the street like any two people. No one would ever tell how faraway we actually are from each other.

"I thought it was funny considering the fact that black is the color La Push represents."

"You like to piss people off..." I state wryly, shaking my head at his unbecoming habit. It is annoying and dangerous. No person of a different gang is supposed to sport the color of an adversary, especially when they are in the territory of that said adversary. That's ultimate disrespect and a surefire way to invite trouble out to play. "Don't you?"

"No, I like when people _let_ me piss them off." He clarifies this as if there is a difference. "It's all about self-control. Most people lack it though. People get mad from being looked at the wrong way. That's petty."

"You're one to talk." I make my accusation lightly, refraining from rolling my eyes at this. Edward Cullen is known for being the king of _'collapsed self-control'._ How can he even begin to ridicule someone else? Self-control is definitely not a word inside of his vocabulary of personality traits. "I've seen what you do to people who piss you off."

"Everyone has a limit. At least I know how to contain myself when the situation permits." He looks at me sideways, explaining his defense with ease, I think he may be a little narcissistic. "Your boyfriend has the fuse of a thirteen year old on her period."

I have to stifle my laughter, I don't want him to think that I agree with him. It may or may not be true. Still, Mike is mines to claim and my loyalty lies with him. I don't want to give Edward the impression that he can just talk about Mike in front of me. I am not okay with that. Edward however, does whatever he wants, and I know that my displeasure is hardly enough to keep him from saying what he has to say.

"It's not even funny." Edward says, more serious now. He's looking straight ahead but his attention is on my reactions. "Newton is unstable."

"You don't know him." This is my immediate response. I jump to Mike's aid without hesitation.

"Oh, but I do." Edward replies drolly, giving my protectiveness little to no mind.

I find it so impossibly irritating how Edward thinks he knows everyone so well. "Then tell me what you think you know."

"Has Mike ever hit you?" He asks casually, though the accusation inside of his tone is barely veiled.

I watch him for a moment, thunderstruck. My voice sharpens at his audacity. "That's absurd!"

"Is it?" The fact that he is so nonchalant and cold pisses me off more.

"Have you ever hit Tanya?" I bite, tossing the words at his face, hoping that they crash into him like a wrecking ball.

Edward only looks at me slightly, shaking his head. I am not prepared for the direction that his train of thoughts lead us in.

"I'm not some prepubescent prick that's lived my whole life underneath the shadow weight of my parent's unrealistic expectations. I'm not teeming on the inside with emotions that I've kept bottled up for too long. I don't need the constant gratification from others to stop contemplating suicide on a daily basis. So what, my parents didn't pay attention to me growing up. That didn't diminish my perception of myself though. I'm not working so hard to create an image that will garner respect from people. I don't want to be glorified, I don't want to be something that I'm not. I definitely don't take my self-hatred and frustration out on people that are weaker than me because I'm not plagued with a need to be superior."

I open my mouth to say something. Soft silence is the only thing we are rewarded with.

"So no, I've never put my hands on Tanya in a way that wasn't immensely appreciated by her."

I cannot believe what he has just said. I'd be fooling myself if I accused Edward of not knowing what he was talking about. There is a thunderstorm of confusion pouring over me. Anger, astonishment, and cautiousness wrap around me snugger than the blanket that had caressed Tanya that night.

We are standing on the black top now. The parking lot is not popular. There are only a couple of distressed cars parked on the lot, and two of them belong to the delivery drivers who work in the restaurant.

"You should go call your friends now." He suggests plainly. It's like he says things and doesn't even realize that they're incredibly life crumbling. He is still as casual as ever, clipped and impersonal like before. Either he does not care or he just doesn't realize how profound his words actually are. "This place closes at eleven. You probably have a good thirty minutes."

I don't know what to say. I don't have much. I'm at a loss. "Thanks."

He offers me a slight nod. That's the last gesture that occurs between us before I make my way into the small Chinese place. It smells like fried rice and grease. The air is stuffy and the lights are dim. Apart from me there are two other teenagers enjoying a late night meal.

I sit at the table closest to the door, while I text Mike of my whereabouts, hoping that no one will bother me for not ordering anything. I can still see Edward from where I am stationed. He is standing against the bus stop that just so happens to be in front of the restaurant. His arms are crossed over his chest, he looks defiant and fearless, like a delinquent. I make a silent prayer that no trouble will commence between the two of them when Mike arrives to pick me up.

_'I'm at the Chinese place near the main road'_

_'How tf did u get there?'_

_'I walked'_

_'Y?'_

_"b/c the cops came'_

_'You r ridiculous. I'm omw'_

I can tell by Mike's text messages that he is agitated with me. I try to think of a story to tell him when he gets here. There is no way I'm going to be able to explain the coincidence of Edward and I being here at the same time. I advert my attention away from my cell phone, turning back towards Edward to take a look at him again.

I am surprised to see Jasper and Emmett. They are just now walking up to him, both of them are carrying backpacks similar to the one Edward is wearing.

They probably have thousands of dollars worth of merchandise inside of those bags. They greet Edward playfully, bounding up to him with mock-serious faces, and putting him in a headlock. Emmett immobilizes him while Jasper ruffles up his hair. The sight of those three play-fighting among each other brings a small smile to my face. Their horse playing conjures up a boyish laughter that I can hear from inside of the building.

They look free and youthful. They look innocent. Even though they aren't.

They couldn't have been standing out there for more than three minutes when two cars pull up on the side of them. I recognize one of them as Edward's Volvo. Rosalie is in the driver's seat but she is the only one in the car. The other person who pulls up is unfamiliar to me. They drive a nice BMW though. It is painted with a fresh black coat, tinted windows, and spinners for rims.

They lower their window down in time for Edward to make his swift approach. The two of them converse for a couple of seconds, then the person is popping their trunk, and the boy's are taking off their backpacks and tossing them inside.

Emmett, Jasper, and Edward hop into the car with Rosalie, and both of the cars exit in the same direction.

That is what the fast life looks like. That is where thrill is born. That's where Edward makes his peace.

Kirkland and Forks are as alike as chalk and cheese.

_But the polars can't stop colliding._

**_..._**

My friends had questioned me all night about how I'd ended up at the Chinese place. I gave them the same rehearsed story every time they demanded to hear my explanation again. It was all accounts of the truth without the mentioning of Edward's name.

A lie by omission isn't necessarily as bad as a blatant one.

I learned that all of them were able to escape through the back door. They'd told me when the first sign of police were sighted, the house had erupted like a molten volcano. Everyone had been trampling over each other to access the escape routes of the house.

Apparently, many people got caught. Licenses were suspended, parents were called, and some people were even taken to jail. All of us managed to getaway though. So, that's probably all that matters.

I spend the night at Jessica's house and we ride to school together the next morning.

"You know what people are talking about now?" Angela asks us daftly. We're walking away from the breakfast line. Jessica didn't have much to eat at her house. I had to get something to put some fuel into me. There is no way I can get through this day without any energy.

I am not ready for the gossip or the rumors yet. I know Angela is going to dish them out to me anyway.

"What?" Jessica wants to know. She can be eager for the both of us. Maybe with her abundance of over enthusiasm no one will notice my flailing lack of interest.

"There's a rumor going around that Tanya's cheating on Edward."

I perk up involuntarily, not much of a change on my face though. Anything about Edward or Kirkland is enough to catch my attention. I do not know what to think of this rumor. I want to say that it is rather unlikely, I witnessed the way Tanya swoons over Edward, but I can never be for sure with that lot.

They're all sketchy in one way or another.

"No way." Lauren chimes in, shaking her head. "She's heads-over-heels for him."

"Anyway, who's tough enough to get down with Edward's girl?" Eric queries from behind us, mouth full of cinnamon roll and disbelief.

"Who cares?" Jessica wants to bask in this one. "As long as Edward's free..."

"Even if he was free, what makes you think you're going to be next on his list?" Angela all but crushes Jessica's feeble dreams with her biting words.

We can't help but take this one and run with it. Jessica's face turns bright pink at Angela's insult. She huffs out her embarrassment but she is not the best with comebacks.

The conversation has moved on before she can even retrieve her self-esteem from the dirt Angela buried it in.

Tyler moves into the convo, adding in the bits and pieces that he knows. This is how people get the truth misconstrued. They only have parts of a story, then they hear different parts from other people, and then they go tell people the parts that they know. It's like everyone is only going off of what someone else told them, and not what they actually know for themselves. "I heard that it was some guy from La Push."

I look in Tyler's direction curiously. "Did this rumor start when everyone saw her dry humping that guy last night?"

Before my question can even be acknowledged, Lauren is throwing another one into the mix. "Where was Edward at? He is usually at all of the parties with her?"

"It wasn't the guy she was dancing with." Tyler comes back to my previous inquiry, casting his dark brown eyes at me. "Someone said they saw her after the cops came. She was on the side of the house talking to some guy named Embry."

"You mean Felix's step-brother?"

My attention is efficiently captured for the second time. I don't know Felix personally but I heard his name brought up on that day I was stuck in Kirkland. There wasn't much said about him except the fact that he was now on Carlisle's hit list.

Why Tanya would be talking to anyone that is associated with Felix for any reason other than to intimidate them is beyond me.

Jessica throws her hands into the air. "Who the fuck is Felix?"

"You don't remember when we did community service down at the rec center last summer..." Lauren explains. "All the guys from La Push used to come play basketball?"

"Oh, yeah." The awareness hits Jessica. She nods. "Felix was the big, dark haired one with the piercings."

"Yeah, he's always with Embry, Jacob, and Sam."

Eric chuckles dryly, he knows that most of the rumors around here are widely-exaggerated and should mostly be ignored. Who knows? This could be another one of Edward's plans at work. "So Tanya is supposedly fraternizing with La Push behind her crew's back?"

"Yep." Angela pops the word out of her mouth, shrugging her slender shoulders.

Eric disregards her. "I'll believe it when I see it."

"Edward's coming back today." Jessica says. "We'll see how they act around each other at lunch."

"How do you know he's coming back?" He hadn't mentioned anything to me about coming back to school, but then again why would he? We aren't acquainted and we definitely aren't friends. Still, it's surprising to know that Jessica is aware of this fact before I am.

"Because Mike told me when I talked to him on the phone." I am not surprised. I ignore the clipped glances that my friends flash in my direction. Eric looks particularly perplexed but he keeps his mouth shut. "They gave Edward one less day than him since Mike was the one who started it."

I walk past them. I've given myself a cue to leave. "Then this should be interesting."

I am anxious to get through the first couple of classes. I want to see Edward and Tanya at lunch today. The rumors will catch up to him as soon as he pulls into the parking lot. People whisper loudly for a reason. Now either someone got their story wrong, or Tanya is testing very dangerous waters. I can't think of any reason why Tanya would possibly want to double cross her friends. They're all so close-knit and bonded. This has to be fluke, just another faulty myth, because it doesn't add up.

Lunch is long awaited. When the bell rings I head to my locker to put up the text books I no longer need and then I head down to the cafe. Everyone is already seated when I approach the table. I am the last person to arrive. They pay my presence no mind however, all of their attention is focused on the group of people who are lounging next to the bay windows.

Everyone is there today. Including Edward. There is nothing out of the ordinary about how any of them regard each other. They are huddled in close, talking in hushed voices, and reenacting the same movie they play for us everyday. Tanya still sits beside Edward, she still glares at any girl who lets her eyes linger on him, and Edward still eases in her direction.

"See." Lauren is now bored. All of that anxiety had been a waste of time. "I told you so."

"Better luck next time." Angela pats Jessica on the shoulder spitefully, only laughing when Jessica yanks away under her touch.

"That is weird because I do remember seeing Tanya talking to Embry." Tyler says. "But I didn't seem them on the side of a house or anything like that."

"Well, talking doesn't mean anything." Jessica says defensively, we all know that she_ 'talks'_ to Mike quite frequently. And I'm not going to lie, it does make her look bad every time it comes to light that they're a lot more close than it appears.

"Yes it does, that's like Bella talking to Edward or something." Tyler jabs his finger in Edward's direction when he says this. I am immediately covered with guilt. "Mike would be like what the fuck?"

"So, if you're a girl you can't be friends with a male outside of your circle?" Then I counter "I didn't know talking was a new form on infidelity."

He shrugs as if the answer to my question is obvious. "It just makes you look suspicious."

"What's suspicious is talking to your friend's boyfriend on the phone every night." I had been the one thinking it, but I am not the one who voices it. We all look at Eric and I think we're all sort of surprised. He's looking directly at Jessica. There is something significant about the way he regards her so intensely. "Especially since your friend doesn't even talk to him that much."

Jessica is immediately offended, putting her hands to her chest in an innocent manner. She wears the sweet look so well. I don't know if it's entirely believable on her however. "What are you trying to say?"

Eric doesn't miss a beat. "I think you're a two-timer."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't try to act bashful, Jess." Eric rolls his eyes when Jessica tries to shake her head. I can feel my stomach dropping onto the floor as the tension around the table rises. I can't keep my eyes from fluctuating between Eric and Jessica. They are both wearing expressions that antagonize each other. "Everyone knows that you're fucking Newton."

"Except Bella." Lauren trolls dryly, now that the cat is out of the bag.

Floundered for words, I feel myself paling and heating simultaneously. My hand finds its way to my cheek, pushing the cool of my palm against my startled blush. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Eric's eyes are less harsh when they find their way to me. "You know it's always been a little weird that Mike and Jessica always find themselves with each other."

"Yeah but..." I trail off because I can't honestly think of another word to say.

This is something I guess I should have known, or maybe it is something I'd always known but simply chosen to ignore because I did not want to believe it. When the horror of it is sitting directly in my face, it makes all of those suppressed feelings of anger and desolation spring to the surface.

"Eric's just jealous because you've never given him the time of day." Jessica says this spitefully, but only because she knows that it'll pierce Eric somewhere deep, and because everyone around the table is staring at her like they're not surprised by her faulty genuineness.

"First, I thought it was just my imagination. I'd see them sending sly glances at each other or touching a little more than usual..." Eric seems to brush Jessica and her insults right off of him, flicking them to the floor underneath his feet where they belong. "But last night just took the cake. Bella when you went m.i.a I saw them dancing, then I saw them making out, then I saw them disappearing."

I turn towards Jessica. Our eyes meet. She is blue where I am brown. We have a special understanding of each other. I know that she is a rotten person, one that smiles in your face with the whitest of teeth but stabs you in the back as soon as she gets the chance. She is selfish and insecure. Really she is the perfect match for Mike.

"It's true." I say, looking past her feigned confusion. "Isn't it?"

She looks contrite around the edges but secretly satisfied inside. It's like getting caught eating a cookie after your mom tells you to wait until after dinner. You may feel guilty for disappointing your mom but you already got to taste the sweet decadence of the cookie. So, it's not really all that bad of a feeling.

"Well, I wanted to tell you but..."

I hold my hand up to silence her because I am brewing to explode. I don't know if I am more angry, sad, or embarrassed. I just can't even look at her face right now, let along hear her sorry excuse for an explanation. I feel like I should be more surprised than I am, I should be flinging over the tables to choke her out, but I am easily able to transfer my anger into numbness because I'd always known this would happen. It hits me but it doesn't knock me down.

And I know this is bad because it means that I have been desensitizing myself to the turmoil I've endured with Mike over the years. I must be insecure myself. Why else would I subject myself to a relationship where the only happiness I could pull from it was through the thrill I would get when he was abusing me in some sort of way? I should have realized that I deserved better a long time ago, before something like this had a chance to happen.

I stand up to leave the table. I have heard all that I needed to hear. It is ironic that we started off talking about Edward getting cheated on, and then it turns out that I am actually the one in the unfaithful relationship. This information leaves me reevaluating a lot of things.

Maybe I've been judging the wrong people this whole time.

Eric and I do not speak much during the next class period. He tries to start a conversation with me but I quickly make it clear that I am not in the mood to talk. He respects my wishes because he thinks that I am sad. I don't tell him otherwise, I let him believe what he wants, but it's not just because I am sad. I'm tired. I'm tired of the same untrustworthy people. At least in Kirkland they stick together. In Forks you can't even trust yourself half of the time.

"How are you getting home today?" Eric asks curiously, he catches me right when the dismissal rings.

I am at my locker collecting my things. He doesn't have his stuff because he's staying after school for practice like he always does.

"Charlie should be out there waiting for me."

"Hey Bella." He's almost bashful. I am dreading the sorry he's undoubtedly been practicing to recite. It's not going to change anything that's already happened. It's a waste of breath and sentiment. "I'm really sorry."

"Me too."

I know this is the truth. I just hope that he is not referring to himself. "You deserve better."

I turn away from him at that. "I know."

The cruiser is parked on the far end of the lot. Charlie does this purposely so we won't have to wait in line to leave. I try to keep my face neutral when I enter the car. I don't want him detecting anything or he'll be questioning me on the entire ride home.

Charlie is warm and gruff, his eyes twitch with endearment when he sees me. His gaze never lingers long. I look too much like my mother. I know I make the memory of her explode into consciousness every time our similarities flaunt themselves through Charlie's perspective. "Hey Kiddo."

I offer him a small smile. There are nerves inside of me. I haven't seen him since Wednesday. The fact that I snuck to the party puts me on edge. "How was your day?"

"Well, I'm only on break now." His voice is casual. That's all there ever is between us. There is never really any connection. Just casualness. "It's been stress free so far."

"Anymore news on Aro's case?"

"Not yet." He shakes his head. There is nothing but hope and diligence eating away at him. This almost disturbs me. I don't really want to see Edward get into trouble. Even though he irks me, I still can't picture someone like him locked away. He is so free. I know that he would be absolutely miserable behind mars. Not to mention how much it would torment his younger brother and Alice. "We're getting there though."

"Where are we going?" I realize that we have taken a left out of the parking lot instead of a right. We're going near the highway but I have no idea why. Sometimes we go to the diner after he picks me up from school but that is usually only on Thursdays. "The house is back that way."

"I was talking to Billy and guess what he told me?"

"What?" I am curious and also scared. What if Jacob told Billy that he saw me at the party last night? What if Charlie is only acting like everything is cool but he's really upset, and is about to bust me in the most humiliating way possible?

"Jacob knows how to fix up cars." His voice is trailing in a suggestive direction. "You know what I was thinking?"

"What?" I ask again, bewildered by the wry smile that twitches upon his face.

"That he could fix up your truck. You need some reliable transportation."

I look toward the roads blurring past us, feeling a small smile climb onto my mouth at the thought of seeing Jacob. He'd been so cool and mellow at the party. It would be a nice relief to chill with someone new for a change. "So, we're going to La Push?"

"Billy said that it wouldn't take Jake long at all to replace the engine and change the oil. I'm going to drop you off. You'll only be there for a couple of hours."

I am more amused than I am shocked. This is a leap of freedom that he's giving me. I wonder what's come over him. "You're dropping me in La Push?"

"I trust you." He says, looking at me briefly, but I know there is something else to it. There has to be. "Besides Billy said that he'll keep a good eye on you."

_And then we're gravitating without reason. Our lives whispering in voices we just won't listen to..._


	6. Ultimate Collision

**Thanks to everyone who supports this story.**

I swear writing about Edward and Bella put me in my feelings!

**IMPORTANT :** I want to let everyone know that I am a senior in high school and I am on winter break. That is part of the reason why my updates are so quick. Starting Monday I will be less able to produce quality chapters if I rush and juggle school.

**That means updates will only come once or twice a week.**

Anyway,** keep reading** please!

**Review**. Leave me some feed back.

* * *

**CHAPTER 6:**

**Ultimate Collision**

_"If you don't care about being unique_

_And you don't try to stand out_

_That's what makes you unique."_

* * *

"I didn't know you could fix cars, Jake." We're in his garage. It's his impromptu workshop and I have to say that it's pretty impressive.

There are car pieces scattered around the floor, all from several different types of cars, some rusted with age and others sparkling anew. Jake tells me that he is working on something he calls _'The Rabbit'. _He is rebuilding an old car that he offered to take off of the junkyard's hands. It's for some local competition that La Push holds every year. He says that this a hobby for him, something to do when he is bored, but it looks more like a passion with the way he effortlessly moves through the car.

He has a good chance of winning. In fact, I'd be surprised if he didn't.

"You don't know a lot of stuff about me, Jellybean." He chuckles lightly, flashing me a wry smile. There is a gleam inside of his brown eyes that never diminishes. He sparkles with something entirely charismatic. I thought that mellow streak I'd witnessed at the party had been substance induced, but that is truly a part of Jacob's character. "The chief made sure of that as soon as he realized I was old enough to get boners."

There seems to be no hard feelings between Charlie and Jacob. When he'd dropped me off, the two of them had a brief conversation with Jacob's father. Jake parties a lot but for the most part he is a good kid. He does well in school and he doesn't offer Charlie half as much trouble as Edward does. I actually think a breakthrough was made today.

"You're right." I admit, watching him lean over the car. This is the quintessential mechanic scene. He is sweaty and oiled up, dirty and smeared with car grime. His tank top is off and wrapped around his neck. It's almost hard not to notice how sculpted his body is. "Is it weird being around me again?"

"Not really." He replies bleakly, lifting his broad shoulders in an indifferent shrug. "You haven't really changed much."

I try to see what his face looks like but it is tucked underneath the hood of the car. I am sitting in a chair near his side but this angle doesn't let me glimpse his expression. "Is that a good thing?"

"It's a very good thing." He makes this clarification easily, his voice flows like liquid thunder. I am glad that he doesn't feel weird after all of these years. I surely don't. I am at ease, despite the drama that has attached itself to my life today. "You're not like other girls."

My eyes widen at his words and my face quickly morphs into confusion.

"I mean...you're more laid back kind of." He explains slowly, his concentration evenly divided between working on the car and our conversation. "You don't always try to be in the center of attention and that's always made me notice you more."

"Really?" I never really thought of myself as being the one to stand out, not when there is so much constant competition always flaunting itself right in front of my face.

"Yeah, you should have heard what the guys were saying about you last night." There is amusement inside of his boyish voice. I can feel myself curling into a blush. Just thinking about the vulgar things those guys probably said makes my cheeks grow warm. "Subtlety is always more interesting. Most girls don't understand that though."

"But those Tanya Denali and Rosalie Hale types are also appreciated right?"

"Well, Rosalie and Tanya are two completely different types." He says this as if it's a very elaborate and complex philosophy. "But essentially with the same assets."

I find myself humorously interested in what he has to say. "Explain this to me please?"

"Boys drool over Rosalie because everything about her is insane. Her body, her face, her hair. She's fucking gorgeous and no one is more aware of that fact than her. Since she is practically every man's wet dream we pine over her. Though, it's not really just her beauty. It's also the fact that she has this attitude like...no one can touch her."

"And it makes people want to touch her even more." I nod my head, knowing exactly what he is talking about. Being around Rosalie makes you feel very small. She can just look at you briefly, nonchalantly, and every insecurity you've ever had will spring back to the surface to remind you of how insignificant you are compared to her.

He snickers quietly. "Exactly."

"And Tanya?" I prompt, reminding him that he has not yet finished his thought.

He perks up with lightness, shaking his head as he recalls what he'd been planning to tell me. "Again, Tanya is beautiful. She doesn't flaunt her beauty in the same regal way Rosalie does though. She's more in your face like _'take it if you want it'. _She isn't trashy but she isn't classy either. She's a ball of energy, she's wild, she's fierce, and she looks like she gives some good head."

Jacob throws the last part in there for amusement purposes. I try not to smile, ignoring his jab at Tanya. Jacob is crazy but he's smart and I like listening to him talk.

"So, are there any girls in your life?"

"There's someone..." He trails off, glancing at me before chuckling to himself. If I'm not mistaken there is a little bashfulness around the corners of his smiling mouth. "She lives near The Reservation."

"What's her name?" I wonder loftily, casting my curious eyes in his direction. He is standing upright now, wiping his dirty hands on his trousers, he meets my gaze with vibrant youthfulness.

"I doubt that you know her."

I am not personally acquainted with a lot of people but I know of a lot of people through Charlie and Mike. "Try me."

He looks down into his hands, smiling a little to himself. "Leah Clearwater?"

He's right. I do not know Leah Clearwater. I have never met her. I've heard about her though and I know she is related to the security guard who works at my school. "You mean...Harry's daughter?"

He nods his head. "Yeah."

"You two just fooling around or what?" I don't want to mention his reputation. He might not like some of the rumors that transpire against him in Forks. Jacob is known as the party boy who flies through girls. I never heard of him to have a steady girlfriend.

"No, I actually like her..." His voice is wry when he says this, as if he knows that I am thinking about the less than favorable things people say about him from time to time. "The problem is just she can't seem to leave her ex alone."

Being a girl myself, I understand Leah's dilemma. It's almost a slap in the face to devote so much into a relationship that ends up crashing and burning. The familiarity and comfort you get from spending time with a person on a daily basis is hard to let go. When the breakup first happens, you feel like there's a part of you missing. Then you go search like crazy to find it. "It's hard to get over past relationships."

Jake scoffs, his lips stretch sardonically. "Even if he left you for your cousin?"

I draw back at this information. I can only imagine how she feels. Now I really understand her. There's probably a constant insecurity war raging on inside of her now. "Wow, that's harsh."

"Tell me about it." Jacob closes the hood of my truck and leans against it with his arms crossed. I hear exasperation, anger, and protection expelling from within him with his calm exhales. "She has to see them together all of the time."

"Her cousin lives with her?"

He nods his head. "Wouldn't that just make you want to jump off of a fucking cliff or something?"

"She must be a strong girl."

"She is. Even though she has some rather morbid coping mechanisms." His stare gets lost behind his adoration. It's cute and refreshing to see Jacob like this. He isn't good with keeping his emotions off of his face. "I try to cut down on the parties to spend more time with her."

"Does she know you like her?"

"She has to know. I don't share my blunts with anyone but her." Jacob flashes me a short grin, wrapping up his tools. I help him put them away into their appropriate spots. The garage may be junky but he shows me that everything goes somewhere specific. "Of course, I wouldn't be opposed to smoking with you sometime. You seem like you'd be hilariously reckless while you're high."

"I've never tried before." I admit, considering the way his reaction shows no surprise.

"Well then, we must fix that." He shrugs his shoulders, twirling a piece of my hair around his finger. "But only if you want to. No pressure."

"Who do you buy your weed from?"

"The Kirkland boys. Edward's _that_ guy."

"What guy?" I smile at the mentioning of Edward's name. They're from different worlds but somehow they managed to come together and bond. Jacob favors Edward. I can tell by the way he smiles Edward name out of his mouth.

"You know, he's real cool and chill. We light up together from time to time."

Of course, he is still from La Push. Even though he is cool with Edward, I still think the Wolves expect him to lay his loyalty down beside them. "Why don't you get weed from the dealers in La Push?"

"Because the quality is shit." Jake and I laugh together at his silliness. "Plus I don't kick it most of the people around here. They're shady as fuck."

"And Kirkland is any better?"

"It may seem like the hard knock life but the people over there have a sense of unity. They stick together and I think that shit is tight." Jacob nods his head admirably, he doesn't have a problem admitting that he likes Kirkland more than he does his own hood. "Me and you need to start ourselves up a little crew, Jellybean."

"You know, I missed you Jake." This is the truth. I don't know how he makes me feel so comfortable. But I'm about to stop questioning it. I've been over here for a few hours now and we've done nothing but laughed and chilled out. I haven't thought about Mike or Jessica since I've been here. Jacob is a real friend. I feel this is the truth and he's not even from the golden town of Forks. "You're not nearly as annoying as you used to be."

"And you're not buck toothed anymore." He teases endearingly, especially like old times. "But you still smell like strawberries though."

"Speaking of strawberries, I am starving."

Jacobs rubs his stomach as if he just now notices that he could well with some food. We've been sitting in this garage since three something. It's only now just starting to get dark outside. "Well, lets order a pizza. We can watch a movie in the front room before you leave."

Charlie told me to head home when Jake was done with my truck, but a few extra hours won't hurt anything. "That sounds great."

"Good, because I wasn't taking no for an answer."

**...**

We're sitting on the floor in the living room. Well, actually I am sitting on the floor. I am sitting against the side of the couch and Jacob is leaning against me. We have two boxes of pepperoni pizza set upon the coffee table, three different types of soda pop, a bowl of chocolate popcorn balls, and a random jar of apple sauce because Jake says that it's his favorite.

I got to choose the movie. Jacob and his father have acquired a very impressive collection of bootleg DVDs. After teasing him about engaging in illegal piracy, I pop 'The Queen of The Damned' into the device and we dim the lights for a movie theater effect.

This feels so platonic and I know the same goes for Jacob. He's just easy-breezy. I've never encountered anyone quite like him before. It's like he was put on this earth to show me that genuine people actually do exist.

An hour into the movie, there is a slight rapping on the backdoor. Jacob gets up to inspect our visitor. When he opens the door, he's greeted with a mirage of several different male voices. I notice one of them immediately.

_Edward is here._

"What's up, bro?" Jacob greets them steadily, enthusiastically, he's all smiles and _'bro hugs'_. "What brings you to the slums?"

I can hear them all mumbling. It's inaudible though. I can't really make out all that they're saying. It sounds less enthusiastic than Jacobs greeting had been.

"Hey, you don't gotta stand out there in the cold." He suggests, his voices if friendly. I watch him step to the side to allow them entry into the house. "Oh, but I forgot to tell you that I have a guest."

As if his admission triggers it, four sets of different but equally dark eyes lay upon mines.

It's Peter Nomad, Garrett Pattinson, Emmett, and Edward.

"You never cease to amaze me, Princess." Edward says, shaking his head slightly. There's a half smile offered in my direction. I feel my nerves rising. Not because I am nervous but because the sight of Edward always gives me a thrill. "I run into you in the most unexpected of places."

"We're old friends." Jacob explains, to which Edward only nods slightly.

"What's Forks finest doing slumming it in the urbs?" Emmett asks curiously, the boom of his voice resonating against the feeble walls. He is less icy and intimidating than I once remember him. There even seems to be a bit of ease in the way he addresses me, as if I am someone he knows from around the way.

I look away from Edward's lingering gaze and focus my attention on the dimpled smile Emmett has plastered on his face. "Jacob was fixing my car."

He laughs loudly as awareness hits him, he jabs a finger out behind him. "You talking about that piece of shit truck that's in the garage?"

"Hey, don't hate the truck." I'm playfully but seriously defending the quality of my truck. My mother and father bought it for me on my sweet sixteen. I'm not the flashy type and they knew this. Instead of getting me a brand new Aston Martin like every other teenager, they got me something with character that I could nurture.

"I'll personally buy you a new stereo for that dinosaur." His quips make all of the other boys in the room chuckle. I can see Emmett being the jokester of the group. He is lighthearted where Edward is serious, outgoing where Garrett is shy, and benign where Peter is volatile.

I roll my eyes at him but laugh either way. "Antiquity is flattering"

"Yeah, but decrepitude isn't."

I look at him harshly but I enjoy his empty taunts. It's all good. He's just fooling around. "Whatever, don't you have some top secret business to attend to?"

"It's not that secret when you're here." Edward cuts in, leveling his jaded eyes onto mines. His playful smirk enamors me. "Did the chief tell you anything else?"

His question makes my small fall. I don't like the way they're all looking at me with such expectancy. It isn't as if I owe them an answer, but their undivided attention makes me feel like I need to give them one. I don't want to go against my father. I still can't not give him what he wants. "No."

"Good, that means he's sleeping on us." Edward turns back to Jacob, seemingly satisfied by my admission. I don't tell him how adamant Charlie is about this case though. It might crush their energized spirits. "We're going out on a whim here."

Jacob raises his thick eyebrows. The sound of his voice is one of disbelief. "You're about to hit another lick?"

"I'm going to Seattle next week for this function of some sorts. We were able to make up the fifteen grand..."

"But the Volturi keeps screwing us over." Peter jumps in and cuts Edward's sentence off quite abruptly, frowning dubiously, as he pulls on the ends of his choppy tresses. His displeasure is less contained than the one that's evident in all our their facial expressions. "We took a shipment worth double the fifteen. We gotta pay them ten percent of our earnings. Plus they're not the only ones we're garnering our substances from."

Emmett's shoulders sag. "Basically, we're in the hole."

Jacob nods his head in understanding, exhaling a deep breath against the tension, they came here for a reason it seems. "So, you owe some people a couple of dollars huh?"

"That's an understatement." Edward replies drolly, raking a hand through his own hair.

"Well, what was in the shipment?"

Edward's heart doesn't skip a beat. He begins naming all sorts of drugs off the top of his head. My world begins to close in around me and when it spits me out, I am smack dab in the middle of their chaos. Again. "We got the fentanyl pops, the dank, the codeine, the hydrocodone, the coke, the meth, and the heroin."

I probably shouldn't still be getting surprised by this type of stuff, but I just can't help the astonishment that rocket-surges through me when they talk about stuff like this so casually. Jake doesn't even blink when they mention the abundance over illegal drugs that they have. It's a part of his life as well but he's not directly associated with it. I can't wrap my head around a life so hectic and dangerous. Still, I feel myself drawing away from the television and focusing my attention more on their closed discussion.

"You got all of that and you still need another raid?" Jacob's looking hesitant now. "How much did you get from that bullshit in Sam's house?"

And that answers the question I'd asked myself last night. Jacob must be the guy who double-crossed Sam so that the Kirkland boys could invade his house. This surprises me because Jacob seems so sincere. It makes something in me regard him a little differently.

His face is sweet but he is not.

"Almost seven grand." Edward is not pleased by this. The corners of his mouth droop in disappointment. There's a layer of weariness underneath everything else that he presents outwardly to the world. He's better at hiding his emotions than Jacob is. That's for sure. But there are always cracks in his armor. Little bitty holes that give me small access to his real self. "That didn't even make a dent."

"How much do you owe exactly?"

Peter drags out, shaking his head. "You don't even wanna know."

"You're right, so what do you need me to do?"

Edward steps forward to take the lead. Since he is the leader, I guess he is going to do all of the formal business talking. He looks at Jacob very seriously. "We need another house."

"It's not easy going into those files behind my mom's back. You know that right?" I don't know what Jacob and Edward are talking about, but I'm really itching to jump into the conversation and ask. All that I know about Jake's mother is that she manages the Recreation Center. Everything else is a blank canvas. I haven't actually seen her in as long as I've seen Jake. She doesn't come down to Forks very often.

Edward nods his head, continuing to push as far as Jacob will allow him to. "I know Jake. That's why we owe you big time. We need this favor."

"When do you need it by?"

Edward looks down at his shoes or at the floor. I am not sure what he's focusing his eyes on, but it's definitely not Jacob's troubled expression. "Tomorrow night."

"What the fuck?" Jacob shuts down, throwing his hands into the air incredulously. He is immediately shaking his head no and brushing Edward off. "Do you think I'm Houdini or some shit?"

"Bro, I'm going to fucking Seattle next Thursday." Edward tries to explain, keeping his voice even, though he seems to be distressed. "We gotta get in that house by Tuesday."

"It's Friday, and you're telling me that you're gonna hit this lick after only two days of planning?"

"We're lowdown desperate dogs." Emmett offers begrudingly, causing Jacob to smile a little.

"You're sitting ducks. That's what you are." Jacob argues, skeptical. "How are you going to pull this one off?"

"We don't know yet." And it's evident that they really don't know. They look as clueless as I am. I wish that I was on the inside instead of the outside. I wish I knew exactly what they were talking about so I wouldn't be feeling like I was about to burst from anticipation at any second. "We need the house first. Can you do it for us?"

"I guess. But if you get caught you're on motherfucking your own."

Edward shakes his bronzed head, hands up in the air, surrendering his word and gratitude. "You know we don't even get down like that Jake."

"We're not some bitch made ass thugs." Emmett relays, moving forward to punch Jacob's chest reassuringly. "We're not gonna rat on you if we fuck up."

Peter nods. "Trust that."

"Alright man, I'm gonna have your shit tomorrow." Jacob doesn't sound too thrilled about this, but he knows that the Kirkland boys are counting on him. I don't know what he's supposed to be doing. It sounds like they're expecting him to find them a house to break into. How he does that, I don't know. Apparently, he goes into people's files at the rec to find out information about them.

That might include what time and days they come to volunteer, how long their sessions last, and where they live.

Some of the weight that Edward is carry around on his back, it instantly seems to lift. Not all of it is gone. But at least his smiles are reaching his eyes now. He pats Jacob on the back thankfully. "Good looking out, bro."

"Hey, you wanna stay and watch the rest of this movie with me and Bella?"

"As much as I know Bella would like that..." Edward meets my gaze again. He is smoldering with a purpose. The corner of his lips twitch but he does not offer me one of those devious smiles. "We're gonna have to say no. We have some runs to make."

"Have it your way." The boys start to make their hasty retreat, on to the next part of their hectic life.

It's like the world never stops moving for them. How they ever get a chance to sleep, I do not know. They're always on the go, always have missions to attend to. It's sad, it's frenzied, it's messy, but it's exactly how they like it.

Before the door closes behind them, Edward turns around to murmur one more thing in my direction. It makes me want to smile just as much as it makes me frown indignantly. "Enjoy your movie, Princess pie."

Jacob rounds me with a small smile. A smile that is very significant. A smile that is loaded. He reprises his seat next to me but I can't stop myself from asking.

"What the hell are you smiling for?"

"Don't be coy Bella." Jacob eyes me teasingly. "I saw the way you and Cullen we're eye fucking each other into oblivion."

"Oh please. We weren't doing anything." I wave him off, trying to ignore the poisonous butterflies that flutter around my rib cage, my freaking cheeks burst into a bath of warm embarrassment. "Besides why would he eye fuck me when he has Tanya to _actually_ fuck?"

"It's all about matter of appeal." Jacob smiles briefly, an encouraging smile, shrugging his shoulders at my appraising expression. "I didn't even know you two knew each other."

"We don't." I say quickly, clarifying before he gets anymore dubious ideas. "We know of each other."

"As if there's a difference. Didn't take you for the bad-boy lover." He comments, looking back towards the television. The movie is halfway over now. He still seems to be consumed however. "Guess it makes sense though. Everything working out with you and Newton?"

My mood falls a little at the mentioning of Mike's name. "Actually, I found out that he's been cheating on me."

Jacob switches his attention between the me and television, there's a look of concern on his face, but not much depth or sympathy. He's not much of the sentimental type. It's refreshing because there is nothing more I hate than fake sentiment. "Well I could of told you that Bella. The guy is no good."

I guess his reputation doesn't just precede him in Forks. "How do you know?"

"Because I went to preschool with the kid." Jake rolls his dark eyes but the light inside of them makes the action humorous. He gives me a droll look, small closed-lip small illuminating his mock-irritation. "And he used to steal my graham crackers at snack time."

"Oh whatever, how long ago was that? Over a decade right?" I am laughing because this is so fucking funny tom me. Jacob is the biggest fool I know. He definitely has Emmett beat in the joke department. "I'm sure he's shed some of those unflattering tendencies by now."

"Once a graham cracker thief always a graham cracker thief." Jacob looks at me stubbornly, refusing to accept my words. His unfavorable feelings towards Mike aren't deep or hardly profound. He has no real beef with him. "So, have you talked to Newton since you found out?"

"No, I just found out today." This reminds me of the fact that I am going to have to approach him soon. I'm dreading the way it will end. I feel like I'm composed now but it might break me down later. The thought of leaving Mike behind scares me, mostly because of the familiarity. I know I can't keep allowing him to disrespect me like that though. "I'm going to go to his house tomorrow or something. I want to end it in person."

Jacob's eyebrows scrunch together as he regards me. "Do you have a thing for Cullen?"

I shake my head. "No."

He looks at me more intently now, lips pursing with slight disbelief. "Be truthful with me."

I feel myself frowning. I don't know what he wants to hear me say. "I am being truthful with you."

"Be truthful with yourself then."

I exhale a deep breath, shaking me head, I am confused about a lot of things. But I know that I do not like Edward. It's something different than liking him. He thrills me. That's what I like. "It's not a thing Jake. He just intrigues me and I find myself drawing near him for some reason. I know I'm not supposed to feel like that."

"I'm sure everyone else has already lectured you about dabbling inside of Kirkland's world. So, I'm just gonna say one thing." He offers me a small smile. There's an understanding on his face. "Edward is a cool guy. He's genuine at heart but he's dangerous. He lives dangerously and being close to him means that you'll get sucked in inevitably."

"I mean..."

Jacob doesn't let me finish. "Everyday he goes out, he could fucking die. The killer part is that he knows that. He knows that he can get killed doing what he does, and he still continues to do it. He didn't choose that life but he lives it to the fullest. That's not what you grew up around Bella. That's not where you come from. It's not what you're used to. And you have the one thing that Edward doesn't have. That he's never had."

"What's that?" I wonder, looking to his dark eyes for the answer. I'm not sure I understand what I find there.

His shoulders shrug again and then he's back to his normal, casual self. "It's the choice of whether you chose to live that life or not."

**...**

Charlie wasn't home when I got there last night. I probably made it back by ten. It was going on eleven which is late for me. I was surprised that he hadn't been home yet. That meant he was still working hard and wildly on that case. My stomach always turned into knots when I thought about it.

The next day is Saturday. I get to sleep in and plan my day out accordingly. Charlie has to work so we only get to converse over a quick breakfast. He asks me what I am going to do with my day. I tell him that I might invite Jacob out do something.

He doesn't say no but there is still a little hesitance inside of his protective eyes. I am glad that he doesn't shoot down my intentions. I am literally drinking up this freedom he's been dousing me in.

When he leaves, I spend the first few hours of the day deep cleaning the house. I don't get enough time to do it during the week because of school, but every other weekend I make it my duty to scrub this house free of its impurities.

After a fifteen minute shower, I get dressed, and pull out my phone to text Jacob. I don't know why he is the first person I thought about when I woke up this morning. It's like I'd never bonded with someone on such a friendly level before. He practically has me addicted to his charm and easy-going nature. He's like the brother that I never ever wanted.

_'Wanna do something today?'_

My phone buzzes in my hand seconds later and I tap the screen to illuminate it.

_'On a mission remember?'_

That's right. I hadn't even taken into account the conversation that transpired between Jake and the Kirkland boys last night.

_'Oh yea. I forgot.'_

_'I'll text you when I'm done.'_

I still manage to smile even though I am kind of disappointed.

_'Another movie night?'_

_'Sounds like a plan, Jellybean'_

I sit for a few more moments to contemplate my backup plan. I know I have to talk to Mike but I am trying to put that off until the last possible moment. I still have a project due next week, a project that I probably need to put more effort into, a project that's worth two fucking test grades.

So, I decide to take a trip to the public library. I don't really have to go all the way to the library to work on this project, but I want a legit excuse to get my ass out of the house. It's less than a fifteen minute drive. It's a small library and it is basically right around the corner from the high school.

I walk inside, pondering whether I should use the computers or the actual book to finish the research I started on a few days ago. I just decide to use the book because the computer section is packed and I don't feel like being put on the waiting list. I actually should have brought my laptop with me. That would have made a lot more sense.

I work quietly to myself, listening to music on my iPod, and breeze through the project. It's a wonder how productive I can be when I do not have people distracting me. I feel good about myself. All of the confusion, mixed feelings, and other bullshit is effectively pushed to the back of my mind.

Until I get a phone call from Mike.

I almost don't answer the call but something makes me go on ahead and take it. I don't want to be a baby. Plus I'm not the one who should be hiding away.

"Hello?" I answer quietly, not just because I am in the library. I'm just weary.

"Bella, where the hell are you?" His voice is harsh and irritated. I can almost picture the way his face is probably scrunched up. Well, he has a lot of nerve. If anyone should be angry it should be me. "I've been sitting outside your house for an hour."

I ask, instead of answering his question. I don't want Charlie coming home on break to find some belligerent kid fuming outside of his house. "Why are you at my house?"

"Where are you?" He repeats himself now, only slower and more threateningly.

I sigh to myself, looking down at my book. "I'm at the library, Mike."

"Are you coming home soon?" His voice is anxious and impatient. I wonder what has his panties in a twist all of a sudden. He's never so urgent to meet up with me. I wonder what's so important that we absolutely must talk right now. He's full of so much shit. He stinks.

"Why don't I just meet you at your house?" I suggest evenly. This is the only alternative that I can give him. I'm not about to come home because he wants me to. I am almost completely finished with my project. I'm no longer asking how high when he asks me to jump for him. "I was planning on coming there afterwards anyway."

I can hear Mike groaning with frustration on the other end. I hope that he's walking back to his car now. "Jessica told me about what happened at lunch. Are you really going to believe that prick Yorkie? He's been trying to find a way to get into your pants since the second fucking grade."

Well isn't it just a coincidence that Jessica was the one who informed him of my interment knowledge of what was going on behind my back. It's like he just gives himself away. "I don't want to talk about this right now Mike."

"Are you planning on breaking up with me?"

"I'll talk to you later." I roll my eyes at his fake sincerity. He can take it and I bet he knows where he can shove it. "I'll be over in a couple of hours."

I end the conversation before he gets the chance to. I hope he hears the icy feel of the dial tone.

I am disturbed throughout the next two hours I spend finishing my work. Mike makes my moods fluctuate rapidly. I almost just quit and head over there so I can get this over with, but I owe it to myself to not let him snatch anymore priceless time away from me.

When I am finally finished and getting into my truck, the sky's brightness is beginning to wane, it's not exactly sunset yet but there isn't much longer until then.

The ride to Mike's house is a convoluted one. I brace myself for the excuses and sorry's he is going to try to butter me up with. I brace myself with the anger and shock he's going to display, the dominance that's going to scare me into changing my mind, and the willpower it's going to take to leave the situation with my head held high.

He answers the door on the first knock. There's no doubt in my mind that he has been waiting for me. The look that I am greeted with is once of anxiety and irritation. There is no remorse there however. He's a manipulator. I don't think he knows what remorse feels like.

I see that he's been healing up nicely. There are only faint reminders of his black eye. I think he likes that it makes him look menacing.

"What took you so long?" We sit on the couch across from each other.

"I had to finish my project." I look at him like he is crazy. How can he still manage to be so rude, even when he is clearly the one in the wrong? This dude has a lot of fucking audacity. "And I really wasn't in much of a hurry."

"Eric was lying." He says quickly, I find it funny that this is his first defense. He doesn't even put much into making it sound believable.

I try not to roll my eyes. I try to keep my voice serious. I want to be mature about this. There's no need to get our hands messy. We're almost adults. I think we can have this conversation civilly. Everything inside of me is telling me to call his ass out on the line though. "I don't think he was."

His second defense is even more pathetic than the first. I wonder if he told Jessica the same exact thing after he plowed her into the same bed he took my virginity on. "I love you Bella."

I sadly shake my head at him. "You don't know what love is."

He is irritated that I haven't already given up. He expects me to come crawling back into his waiting arms. He doesn't understand how much oppression over the years has made me resent him."How can you tell me what I know?"

"If you loved me you wouldn't have fucked her." I stare at him coldly, just barely hanging on to my composure. "Just fucking admit it."

His head hangs down but not in shame. He secretly likes the fact that he can seduce girls into having his way with them. That makes him feel macho. It makes him feel important. But it makes him look lost. "It was a mistake."

Even he knows that his voice sounds void of honesty. "No, it wasn't."

"It didn't mean anything." This is probably the only truthful thing that he's said all day. Of course it did not mean anything. He used Jessica just like he uses me and every other person he knows. He does not care about anyone but himself. Now that's the truth.

"It never does!" I throw my hands in the air.

His voice is dry when he responds, scratching his head. He looks at me with intense blue eyes. I don't feel anything from them anymore. Not a thrill, not a spark, no adrenaline. There's just a dead flat-lining of the emotions he used to evoke within me. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"I don't want you to say anything! There's nothing to say Mike." That's the point that he is failing to grasp. I already know the truth. There is no taking that shame or pain back. "You fucked her and you did it because you like taking advantage of people. I'm not letting you take advantage of me anymore."

His head lifts and he stares back at me in shock. "What are you saying?"

"You know what I'm saying."

"You mean that you're so hilariously insecure that you let people scare you away? You don't think you compare to Jessica? You're a thousand times more valuable than her."

"I'm not a fucking object!" I exclaim, now I want to make it be known. I'm not some fucking thing that he can order around. I'm not a robot. I'm not a toy. I am a human being that deserves to be retreated with respect. "And you're one to bring up someone's insecurities. I pity you."

His eyes narrow. "What?"

"I fucking pity you." I should probably listen to the threat that is rising inside of his voice but he has pissed me off to the point of no return. I have held back so many ill feelings towards him over these years. I should have exploded on him a long time ago. "You self-adsorbed, disloyal, pretentious fool."

Something clicks inside of him. I see it the moment it happens. I can't even register the fear that floods through me before his strong hands are wrapped around my throat.

"What the fuck did you just say?" He snarls in my face, spit flying between his gritted teeth. "You're a disrespectful little girl, you know that?"

I use all of the breath I have left to spite him. "Fuck you."

"Fuck me?" He moves with a quickness I've never witnessed before, throwing me away from him with a disgusted shove. I fall off of the couch, knocking against the wooden coffee table, before my back catches the floor. "After all I've done for you?"

"All that you've done?" I say incredulously, looking up at him with a rage that mirrors his own. In this moment, I am not afraid of him. I want to hurt him. I just want him to know that I_ know_ who he really is. "All you've ever done is bring me sadness."

"You're so fucking ungrateful." He stands over me scowling. "I made you who you are."

"You didn't make shit! Because you aren't shit!" I see his face jumping with shock. I almost pull back my insults. Almost...but I don't. He needs to hear how it feels for someone to degrade you so readily. "You're a second-rate football player, you got your ass beat because you wanted to prove something to everybody that was not in your capabilities, and you cheated on your girlfriend with the fucking town slut."

Then it all goes black because he hits me directly in my rambling mouth. It doesn't stop there, though I have literally just swallowed his fist, my mouth is bleeding profusely and he's grabbing my hair and dragging me towards the door.

"You little bitch." I am now the one in shock. I can't believe that he really just did that. I can barely feel the pain of my mouth though. I'm just startled still that it happened in the first place. "Get the fuck out."

**...**

I'm sobbing uncontrollably and driving towards La Push. I don't know if Jacob is home yet but it has been several hours since I tried to hang out with him.

I am deflated. Shaken. I should have known Mike would lose his cool. I had talked to him so recklessly. That still did not give him the right to punch me in my face. I am not a man. I can't take the same hits as a man can. I can't take the same pain as a man can.

I need someone to talk to. Jake is the first person that comes to mind. When I arrive at his house, there is no answer. His motorcycle is also not parked in it's rightful spot in the driveway. He must still be at the rec. I almost decide to go there.

But I don't.

When I get back in my car, I am still going in the opposite direction of my house. I am going further than La Push and even further than The Grove.

Kirkland is my destination.

_And then we're all unaware of the transition. Our lives exploding into taunting decadence..._


	7. Rocks

**SPEACIAL THANKS TO ALL THE REVIEWERS : AuRevoirMonCauchemar, rachiii93, ana rod, acw1, Abner Swen, jansails, xoLove, dipsydoodle, leftinbits, jrsmommy22, pirateluvur, , preunka, xLaBellaVita, dramionelives, missemmett, cpettit, indibindi**

**THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT**

**Please continue to read, support, review maybe?**

**You know, I looked up the distance from Forks to Kirkland and it's actually three hours away! I totally did not know that guys.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 7: ROCKS**

_"I'm tired of explaining this bullshit to you_

_Different is beautiful_

_If you can't see that_

_Fuck You!"_

* * *

I have no idea what I am doing. I really don't. I think I've completely lost my mind to be quite honest. When I get off on the Kirkland exit, the only reason I don't immediately jump back onto the highway is because the street is a one way. I don't remember much of how to navigate through these streets. I only vaguely remember the route Jasper had taken to get us to Alice's house.

I realize this is not just a bad idea. It's a very bad idea.

I can't stop thinking of the countless amounts of things that are bound to go wrong. All of the people who hated me being here last time, will undoubtedly hate me being here again. Carlisle will probably all but kick me out, Alice probably won't take up for me if it comes to that, and the person I came to see might not even be there.

Nothing has changed from the last time I was in the area. The streets are still dark and ominous. I drive past shadows on the sidewalk, hooded culprits that slouch to be unseen. Their heads turn to follow my direction when my truck leaves those winding trails of smoke behind me. I think they can tell the people who don't belong here from the people that do.

I feel the pain of holding my breath for too long when I manage to pull up in front of Alice's house. From the highway, it is straight down the main road and around two corners. I'd made sure to remember the directions while we were driving, just in case I would have had to call someone for help. My cautiousness seems to have come in handy because now I am sitting outside of the house. The only thing I can do is contemplate my next move.

There are no cars inside of the driveway, no signs of Emmett's jeep or Edward's Volvo. The lights are on inside of the living room though and the front door is wide open again. It seems like an open invitation for anyone to barge in and take all of their stuff, but I know that there is no one crazy enough to try something like that. And if someone ever did, they've probably never been heard from again.

I have almost decided to put my car back into drive and try to find my way back to the highway, but then I see the vague silhouette of someone standing in the doorway. It's none other than Edward Cullen himself. I don't mistake myself into believing that he doesn't see me. He's looking directly at me and I nearly jump out of my skin.

I am suddenly anxious. Surprise washes over his features but he makes no immediate moves. I gasp inwardly, freezing as he watches me. Even though the screen door is obscuring my view of him and his eyes are barely visible, I know he is staring at me. I can feel his gaze. It brings heat and scrutiny to my exposed skin.

I turn my car off.

He's already seen me. There's no use in turning around now. I don't even feel my feet as I float up the intricately curving driveway.

Edward's blazing eyes never leave mine. He watches me until I approach the porch stairs. The bottom step groans at the discomfort of my weight. It makes a croaking sound that tells me to turn around. It tells that I'm not welcome here. I take another step, then another slower one, and another one, until finally, I am at the front door.

His head cocks to the side, silently staring at me. I feel like molten lava has singed me in this spot. I can't take my eyes off of the series of emotions that flow through his. I am waiting for him to say something, to make a move, to slam the door in my face or something.

He simply opens the screen door. That's it. He allows me an entry and steps to the side to give me enough room to slip in. There is a bout of confusion on his face that triumphs all of the curiosity that's there. He shuts the door behind me and leans against it.

"You're lucky Tanya isn't here." His voice is not necessarily friendly but it's not unwelcoming either. "She would have tried to beat your ass."

That isn't anything surprising. Tanya makes her claim on Edward known to the world. "I believe it."

"I would've let her too. You're prone to making dumb decisions. But you never face the consequences of them." He makes a tsking sound as he meanders over to the couch. The television is on. I guess cartoons are what he bides his time with when he's not out being a menace to society. "What happened to your face, Princess?"

Involuntarily, my hands shoot up to feel around my mouth. "Is it really noticeable?"

He looks at me closely, but only shrugs his shoulders, turning away from me even though I know he's curious about my busted lip. "I've seen worse."

"I bet." I'm sure he has been the cause of several bruised faces.

He ignores the most of my quips, but not so subtly gets me back for them. "So, who sucker-punched you in that sarcastic little mouth?"

I look down into my hands. I don't want to see his face when I answer the question. There might be a smugness there. He might even say _'I told you so'_. "I got in an argument with Mike."

There is no immediate reaction to my admittance. The question that he asks me next is not the one I was expecting to hear. There is no judgment inside of his tone, no surprise, there's just easiness. "What were you arguing about?"

"I told him I wanted to breakup."

"And he went ape shit because of that?" Edward actually laughs at this. "He must be pussy whipped."

"This isn't funny."

"Nobody said it was. It's fucked up." He turns around to look at me, raising his eyebrows in my direction pointedly. "But people only do to you what you allow them to."

My mouth drops open. I'm wondering what the fuck he is trying to insinuate. "You think I allowed him to punch me in the fucking mouth?"

Edward simply lifts his shoulders. "I think you allowed him to do a lot of shit to you."

He crosses the line on purpose. He wasn't lying when he said he liked when people let him piss them off. He gets his rocks off by festering under their skin. He knows exactly the right things to say too. "I shouldn't have come here."

"You're right. You really shouldn't have." There isn't much emotion inside of him as a whole. I've never seen more than sarcasm, anger, or indifference coming from him. "But why did you?"

"Because Jake wasn't at home and I had nowhere else to go."

"Out of all the places in Washington...you chose Kirkland as your last resort?" He looks at me skeptically, offering a smile in my direction towards the end of his sentence. "Or did you just come over here to see me?"

I don't know what makes me say it. Maybe I just want to see what his reaction will be, maybe I want to pull something out of him that I have never seen before, or maybe I am just incredibly stupid. "A little bit of both."

"Well, at least you're being honest." There's nothing but seriousness inside of his expression now. "That was a really brave and stupid decision."

"Why? Because Tanya would have beaten my ass?"

"Or because anyone can take a look at that pretty face and see that you're just a defenseless priss trying to get a thrill on the wrong side of town. And they'll give you a thrill alright. You think Mike took advantage of you? Some of the people around here are heartless. It doesn't make it any better that you're the chief's daughter."

I can't quite stop myself from getting offended by his brash words. Instead of retaliating, I try to ignore him by changing the subject. "Where is everyone else?"

I know so much about them now, there's not really much they can surprise me with. Edward doesn't hesitate to answer my question but he is still as vague as I'd expected him to be. "On their missions."

I wonder why he is not with them. He is usually always on the move. He's the one in charge it seems. I think he is second in command under Carlisle. "It's your off day?"

"Not exactly." He says, laughing as if the thought of a day off is incredibly funny. I kind of feel bad for him. Well, all of them actually. They don't live the regular lives that teenagers should live. They've all been forced to grow up way faster than every one else. I wonder if they ever feel like they're missing out on something. "I'm going to meet Jake at midnight."

"So, Jake is your ally from La Push?" I say, recalling our conversation from the night of the party. At the time, I couldn't think of who would want to betray Sam. He hadn't seemed like that bad of a guy when I met him. "He's the one with the beef against Sam?"

Edward looks at me wryly. "Wouldn't have suspected that huh?"

I nod my head, trailing off when I figure out that I haven't thought of the right words to finish I thought. I don't want to say the wrong thing to offend Edward. I don't like pissing people off on purpose like he does. "Jake is so not..."

"Like me?" Edward asks, when I don't finish.

I quickly knock his assumption out of the park, shaking my head reverently, I reply, "He just doesn't seem like he's capable of doing anything bad. He's so happy and carefree."

"I know. That's why I try not to suck him into our shit too often." Edward and Jake have mutual feelings of fondness. They both speak highly of each other. That's unorthodox considering they are from two completely different hoods that tend to rival each other. "He practically begged us to raid Sam's house though."

"Why does he dislike Sam so much?"

"Because girls are a real problem." Edward says this pointedly, flashing the green of his eyes in my direction. "They always cause confusion that's usually not worth the pussy we get in the end."

"Sam is Leah's ex?" I excuse his vulgar disrespect because I am surprised with the realization that crashes into me. "Oh, now it makes complete sense."

"No, it doesn't make sense. It's still fucking stupid." Edward says. "I know you might not know Leah but you know her dad right?"

Of course I do. He is the guy that annoyingly relays all of my behavior patterns at school back to my father. "How could I not?"

"Exactly, he has a good job. His family lives on the good side of La Push. She's been exposed to all of the better things in life, but she wants to waste her time going after a dude who's fucking her cousin? She won't give Jake a chance, who actually has something going for himself, but she'll degrade herself to be with a guy who does nothing but get high and party."

I feel like I need to take up for her. I've been in that position before. I know exactly how confusing and irrational your heart can be at times. "She's just confused."

"No, she's just like you." Edward snaps, the pretenses of his unconcerned self are gone. He's back to being a judgmental asshole just like that. "She's ungrateful and wants a thrill."

"You really don't like me." I say this and then immediately regret it, hurrying to add the ending to my thought so he won't get any smug ideas. "As a friend I mean."

I shouldn't be expecting him to like me. Why would he? We couldn't be more unlike, we disagree on everything, and I probably annoy him every time I pop up in his life unannounced.

"Maybe I do like you and don't wanna see you get sucked up in this bullshit." He says this slowly, maybe even shocking himself a little, but the coy smile he flashes me at the end tells me that he knows exactly what he is saying. "As a friend I mean."

"So, you don't really think I'm a brat?"

"Now, don't get it mistaken. You _are_ a brat and you _are_ trouble." He doesn't hesitate to clarify this fact, and he doesn't take much care to pacify the harsh tone his voice takes up without reason. "That's why you just need to go home and work on keeping the lines between Forks and Kirkland unblurred."

"I don't know why I just instantly had an urge to come here. Sometimes I just get this feeling where I'm stuck. And there's absolutely no one who'd understand it if I tried to explain it to them. It's like I'm alone in a world full of people. How is that even possible? My friends are actually my enemies, my father barely deals with me because I remind him of my mother, and my mother all but left me."

Edward leans back into the couch, arms crossed behind his head. "Sounds like a bunch of princess problems to me."

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about." I know that Edward has to be the one person who'd understand even if no one else in the world did. Look at his life. How could he not? His reluctance is just a matter of him doing all that he can to not let his guards down. "Don't you dare say that Edward. You know exactly what it's like to be stuck."

His voice is a low murmur, so soft that I barely hear it from across the room. "More like trapped."

"Tell me about it." I say, looking towards him with something more than interest.

I have no true friends besides Jacob. I understand that. I have no allies, no supporters, no comforters, and being alone makes you want to see the good in people. I am yearning somehow, to connect with someone genuinely. I don't know why it is him.

"Why?" He asks gruffly, turning to look at me fully. There is a frown on his face. I can see the refusal inside of his expression before his voice has a chance to utter it.

"Because, I need something to distract myself with." I say this truthfully, halfway truthfully. "I might breakdown at any second. I'm not a pretty crier either."

He waves me off quickly. "Well that's not my..."

But I don't allow him to finish. "Please Edward. Just save the shit for once."

He looks at me for a second and then he looks down, his brows are scrunched in discomfort. I can't see his face any longer but there is something like vulnerability rolling off of him in tidal waves.

"My dad left us when Masen was three. He and my mom were opposites. He was the one who grew up with privileged parents, went to medical school, and all that bullshit." He pauses thoughtfully, before a smile enters his voice. "My mother, she's the free spirited one. Well, she used to be the free spirited one."

I don't say anything. I am simply listening. I wait for him to continue.

"She was a painter. My dad actually met her at one of her art shows while he was on a date with another woman. I guess they kicked it off. They were polar opposites you know? She was exotic to him. He wanted her, to try out a woman that was a little rough. Most of the princess types are submissive and boring. He'd had his fill of those."

I ignore his subtle insult to the best of my abilities. "So, they started dating?"

"Briefly, yeah. Three months in they were pregnant." He says, stopping shortly. His head is hanging low. I find myself wanting to know what he is feeling, what he is thinking. I want to see that side of him that he keeps hidden away from the world. "They seemed happy enough. Young, in love, free..."

I nod my head, prompting him further with patient encouragement. "What happened?"

"He realized that all he wanted was that thrill. All along, that was all it ever was. His life had been so dictated that it was fun for him to finally do what he wanted for once."

Edward's voice lowers again, I have to strain to hear him over the buzz of the television, because I know if I ask him to repeat himself he's not going to.

"Imagine growing up with your parents telling you what to wear, how to act, who to be friends with, and what to do with your life."

"Even Charlie isn't that strict."

"Yeah, that's the way he grew up. Of course he had the urge to breakaway. He got that fix through my mom." Edward glances at me briefly, only momentarily, but long enough for me to see that there's something written on his expression that he does not want me to witness. "But eventually the thrill wore off, so he went looking for it in other places."

"He cheated?"

His bronze head nods, messy hair dances around in a disarray of curls and waves. He drags his fingers through the disorderly tresses in a maneuver I've noticed as his unconscious pursuit of comfort. "While simultaneously fucking my mother every chance he got."

I shake my head, saddened by this fact. Girls are a problem for boys? No, I think it's actually the other way around. Edward has got it very mixed up. "Did they breakup?"

"Well, the only reason they even stayed together that long was because he felt obligated. After Masen turned three though, having kids wasn't even a reason to stick around anymore." Edward shrugs his shoulders like he doesn't care. Even I'm not naive enough to believe that it doesn't bother him. "I guess he thought child support checks were considered being a part of your child's life."

"Where is he now?"

"He has a family in Seattle." His pain is hard to ignore. It's subtle but it's there in the way he stutters over some of his words, or hesitates to voice things out loud. I thinks he's done a good job of pushing these things to the back of his mind over the years. Me being here and literally dragging it out of him, is making him remember things that he would have rather kept locked away. "Ironically, he settled down a few years after he left."

I don't want to tell him that Alice already told me where she is. I play the oblivious role just to see if he'll go this far with me. "So, what about your mom?"

"My father was her only source of income. She was an aspiring artist as I explained earlier. So you know, she was practically broke." Edward explains quietly, dropping the pained edge of his voice. Something like anger replaces it. "Without my dad, she had to move back into the grunges. Once a hoodrat always a hoodrat right?"

"Don't say that Edward." I chastise, narrowing my eyes in his direction, to which he promptly ignores.

"Anyway, she stayed with Carlisle. Who you know, is a notorious drug dealer. He started off just like me. Selling on street corners at thirteen years old." Edward continues his story, giving his mother less regard than he did his father.

He's angry at both of them. That much is obvious. I think the grudge that he's holding against them is what makes him so hard on the outside. He has a layer, it's not frozen ice like Rosalie's, but it's something obstructing that efficiently keeps people away.

"I think my mom got really depressed with her situation or something. Two kids, broke, living with her younger brother. She got into drugs and stuff."

"Then?"

"Then what do you fucking think happened, Princess?" He chuckles bitterly, but nothing is funny about what he's saying. There is no light inside of his humor. It's morbid, and sickening, and horribly misplaced. "She turned into a goddamned junkie."

I don't know what much I can offer to comfort him. The only thing I can think of is an apology. It's insignificant to this situation though. "I'm sorry."

"My mom's in fucking rehab. This is like her fourth time going back. Every time she gets out she'll be clean for a couple of months, she'll make everyone believe that she's all better, and then she'll relapse and be right back where she started."

I think I have a clue but I ask anyway, mostly out of curiosity, but partly because I want to hear him say it aloud. "Why didn't you ever try to go stay with your dad?"

"Because he fucking left me Bella. He didn't start calling me until last year." He is furious now, voice raising and stiffened. His anger is usually intimidating, a warning to stop treading your danger waters with him, but this time that anger is nothing but vulnerability. When he realizes that, it only makes him madder. "I spent six years of my life waiting on him. He failed me, he failed my mom, but most of all he failed Masen."

"At least he's trying now."

Edward looks at me incredulously, upset that I am not jumping on board with him.

"He fucked my mom all up Bella. She's not even a person anymore." He's shaking his head and regaining himself, I can see him picking his composure up off of the ground, wiping it off, and effectively putting it back into its rightful place. "She's an addict. I know you know what it means but you don't know what that looks like. She doesn't care about shit. Absolutely nothing. All she can think about is getting a fucking fix. Masen and I, we don't even fucking exist."

"Edward." I try softly, only to get shot down by his refusal.

"What? What the fuck do you want me to say?"

He turns towards me fully now, dark eyes and stormy with pain. My heart collapses into my stomach because I can tell how much this hurts him. All of this time, I thought that he was just a thug without a conscience. It turns out that he has a story just like I do. We're different. But not that different after all.

Does that mean we're supposed to be friends? Does that mean we're supposed to mix worlds with each other? I'm still not sure of the answers to those questions.

Because even though we're not that different...we're still world's apart.

"My mom and dad are gone. I've been taking care of Masen and Alice since I was fucking ten. I sell drugs, and steal, and fight because it is the only way I know how to do things. If you thought I was going to tell you a story about how I understand your princess problems then you're wrong."

I let him have that one because I know that he is out of his comfort zone right now.

"Thanks." This is all I say. I know that he knows what I'm talking about.

"I don't like to talk about my personal life." This is something that I already know. He looks sincere when he says this. "I don't even know why I told you."

"Because you needed to." I reply quietly. "I'm glad you did. Do you feel any better?"

"No."

"Maybe one day you will."

"What time is it?" He stands to his feet and stretches his long arms above his head, deciding not to comment on my small string of optimism. He wanders around the back of the couch, snatching up a blue hoodie that had fallen on the floor. I watch him throw it over his head curiously.

I check the time on my phone, surprised that a whole hour has flitted away already. "It's going on nine."

"Then you should probably be heading out." He pulls a gray beanie over his head, so that the front and sides of his messy hair spills out from under the hat. "I don't want any of them coming back and starting anything."

"Can you tell me how to get back to the highway?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna show you." I guess that is why he is getting dressed. He grabs a key chain and wallet off of the coffee table and stuffs them in the back pocket of his khaki pants. "You can drop me off at the trap house. We're gonna pass it when we're like two streets away from the highway."

"That's fine." I nod, even though the thought of being near any sort of trap house makes me nervous. "Where's your car?"

"Petey needed to borrow it. He's somewhere in Vancouver making sells."

"That's four hours away."

"So was that drive to Spokane." He beckons me towards the front door, indicating that it is our time to depart. "The drive to Seattle is gonna be three hours."

As we walk down the driveway, I ask him one of the questions that has been on my mind all night. "Why are you going there?"

He looks at me sideways. "What?"

"You told Jake you were going to a function of some sorts?"

"Oh yeah, I gotta meet with some endorsers. Go on a couple of missions." I'd been wondering what the_ 'function'_ was that he spoke of. I knew that it couldn't have been anything legal. His explanation is not as bad as I'd imagined. It sounds like he's going down there just to do the things that he does here on a regular basis. "There's something up with the money flow. Carlisle needs me to figure out what's wrong."

We enter my car, out of the way of the cooling nighttime temperature. "How long are you going to be there?"

"I'm leaving Thursday after school. I'm not coming back until late Saturday night."

Before we pull off, I ask, "Don't you ever get scared?"

He looks my way, jaded and softened, his lips quirk upwards. "Of what? Of dying?"

"Yeah."

His head shake tells it all.

"I'm only scared of the thought of my brother growing up thinking that everyone failed him."

He's looking out the front window now, keeping his eyes focused on the distance that is ahead of us. Determination and doubt battle endlessly within him. I notice the crack inside of his demeanor the moment it happens.

"I'm gonna get him out of this life. He's gonna graduate high school, and go to college, and make something of himself. I don't want him to end up like me."

**...**

I drop Edward off at a house that looks close to vacant. It is old, wooden, and up a slanted heel that isolates the rest of the houses on the cul-de-sac away from it.

The highway is literally two streets away, after making the u-turn onto the main road. It's not that hard to find. I like that fact.

Just in case I ever get the urge to come back.

I think about the conversation that transpired between Edward and I on my entire way home. I don't even stop at Jacob's house to see if he'd made it back. My mind is consumed with the thoughts of Edward's face, the thought of his pain and struggle, and it makes something deep inside of me crumble with sadness.

He's got such a sad story that no one even knows about. They only know him for the hard-headed delinquent he is. They don't know his tribulations. They only know his crimes and mistakes. I try to shake him away from my thoughts but I end up falling asleep with the memory of him flowing through me. It gives me some sort of comfort. I think I went to bed that night and dreamed of him.

"Wake up, Bella!" Charlie gets me up Sunday morning for church. "Time to get ready."

Neither one of us are very religious. We're actually quite liberal when it comes to things like that. I think the only reason we even keep up the tradition is because Renee had made it such a big deal when she still was with us. It makes her seem real in our minds when the memory of her begins to fade. It may be a way with Charlie to try to connect with me since he's not real big on meaningful conversations. He doesn't like to hover so weekly dinners and church on Sunday's is his form of trying.

I appreciate the effort out of him.

I sit up in my bed with a sigh. I am not a morning person. Especially on the weekends. I pull out my phone to check my messages. I have a missed call from Eric, a missed call from Jake, and a missed text message from Jake.

_'Sorry we couldn't hang.'_

I smile to myself before replying. I don't really expect him to be awake this early but I am hoping that he is.

_'Wanna make it up to me?'_

With that, I jump in the shower for a good ten minutes. Our church is casual so we don't have to get decked out in frilly dresses and suits. Renee still liked for us to look nice however. She always made sure Charlie had on crisp slacks and one of his more expensive sweaters. She and I always used to wear simple dresses. Nothing over the top, and even though I hated it, I still concurred to the habit every time we went to church.

I opt for a floor-length, pleated maxi skirt, A beige chiffon blouse that meshes with the dark blue of the skirt, and I pair the outfit with my printed infinity scarf and beige oxford flats.

By time I've had my toast and orange juice, Jacob has thankfully replied to my text.

_"What am I gettn myself into?'_

I only smile. I'm pretty sure if I tell Jake that I am taking him hostage to church that he would adamantly refuse. No teenager likes to be up this early. Especially for something they don't even fully believe in. The Quileutes have a whole different set of beliefs than we do.

_'Be dressed. I'm omw'_

I let Charlie know that Jacob is tagging along and that I have to go pick him up. I know I see hesitation inside of his eyes but he lets me go. He would never stop someone else from attending church. I make sure he doesn't know that I am just using this as an excuse to go back to Jake's house after church is over.

As I expected, Jake is not overly thrilled to be dragged out of bed for church. He is still half asleep when he stumbles into my truck for the ride there. He leans his head against the window of the passenger's seat and dozes off for most of the ride.

He has even more of a harder time keeping himself woke during the actual service. I find it funny how gruff Charlie is looking beside Jake's slumping posture. I have to keep myself from laughing a couple of times when Jake's head will fall to one side with a jerk that makes several people around us turn to look at him.

I guess they wouldn't understand even if it was explained to them. Jacob was up late last night helping one of their biggest nightmares conduct a plan of demise.

Two hours feel like thirty minutes when Jake is here keeping me so entertained. I decide to bring him with me more often even though I know that is highly unlikely. Jake probably won't even answer my texts on Sunday mornings anymore.

"Your dad totally hates me again, Jellybean." Jake comments, smiling lightly, while we enter my truck for the second time today. This time he is all alert. That cat nap in church fueled him for the sleep he lost from waking up so early.

I brush off his assumption. Though it may or may not be correct. My father sees Jake as bad news but he trusts me and Billy. I guess that's why he's giving Jake the benefit of the doubt. "Charlie thinks you're funny."

"That's what his amused face looks like?" Jake turns up the radio, chuckling to himself. The sun is streaming in through the front window and it's totally illuminating him. "I'd hate to see him when he's angry."

"Did you like church?" I ask teasingly, rolling my eyes at the thought. He was practically comatose the moment we stepped onto the corridors.

"I was dreaming of Leah's vagina through most of it."

"Jake, we're still in a church parking lot." I look at him with mock-astonishment, pinching his arm playfully, he smacks my fingers away. "Wait to we're at least around the corner to be vulgar."

"Sorry." His phone chimes inside of his pocket. "Hey, Cullen just texted me."

My heart rate immediately accelerates. I don't know why Edward has this effect on me. It's his darkness and his illustrious personality. It keeps me jumping with thrill. He keeps me curious and waiting. "What did he say?"

"He's asking if you're with me." Jake is still focused on his phone, reading a text that makes me want to take my eyes off of the road. "He says he's at my house."

I wonder why he is asking about me and I find myself excited to know we're going to run into each other again. This time not so unexpectedly though. "Well, tell him we're on our way."

Then Jake casually shrugs his shoulders. "He says he needs to talk to you."

The ride back to La Push is filled with idle small talk. The atmosphere never goes dry between Jake and I. If we aren't vibing to the music, then we're making each other laugh or being silly. I find that spending time with him has become the peaks of my days. I try not to call him my best friend since we've only just started hanging back with each other, but I can't think of a word that fits any more perfectly.

We're in tune. It's platonic and exactly what we need out of each other.

When we get back to his house, Edward's silver Volvo is nonetheless parked beside the curb of his house. Alice is the only one who has accompanied him this time. They're out sitting against the hood of the car, they both look dazzling in the sunlight, and I almost smile at the sight of them goofing off with each other.

They look light-hearted when they regard Jake and I. Of course, there is something always a little bit darker lurking beneath their clouded demeanor.

"Well, don't you look peachy?" Edward looks me over with a startling smile. I don't know how much he is mocking me or if this is his sarcastic way of a compliment. "I guess this is what princesses wear to church."

"Oh shut it, Edward." Alice leans towards me with a small warmth. It radiates off of her and puts me at ease. "You look really pretty Bella."

I take in what she is wearing : A peplum sweater dress with knee-high booties. She always looks so simple and daring at the same time. Alice is beautiful in a special kind of way. Not the flamboyancy that trails behind Rosalie when she smiles, but a secret kind of pretty that makes you look closer to every detail that surrounds her.

I smile back at her compliment, bashfully flashing Edward a glance as well. "Thanks."

Jake steps up and greets Edward the way all boys greet each other. They even seem to have a secret handshake of their own. "So, what did you need to talk to Bella about?"

Alice moves back into her place beside her cousin. She waves her hand in his direction. "I think Edward should talk his way through this one."

Jake nods his head, looking at the two of them with appraising eyes. He trusts them but he is still cautious of them. "Go ahead."

"Carlisle gave me a proposition." Edward looks down at me skeptically, as if he doesn't really want to be here in this predicament. I put my hands to my hips and wait for whatever he possibly has to say. "Since Bella seems trustworthy enough."

Jake groans from beside me, slapping a hand to his forehead in exasperation. "Don't tell me you're about to try to smuggle Bella into your schemes."

My face drops. I hope that is not what they want to proposition me with. I am not cut out to be criminal. I can't help them steal, count stolen money, or do whatever they do to keep their business flowing.

Edward quickly defends his intentions upon witnessing the fall in my facial expression. "No, just one scheme. We just have one ploy for her."

Jake holds his hand out for Edward to continue. We both can detect the hesitation inside of him. "What is it?"

"It's a small favor." Edward smiles slightly, buttering me up, his green eyes ignore Jake to focus on me.

But Jake catches onto what he is doing. "Stop beating around the bush."

"We have enemies that we need to take out and we have people sniffing behind our tracks as you know." Edward gives up his charming phase, deciding to cut to the chase.

I find myself involuntarily shaking my head. I can't believe that they're coming to me with this. It's like they expect me to just say yes. Do they think I owe them or something? We're not even all that close to be completely honest.

"We want you to help get those sniffers off of our tracks. Since you have direct contact to said sniffer."

"What do you mean?"

"Can you get Charlie off of our asses?"

"What Edward means is do you think you can lead him in another direction." Alice steps towards me, more cordially, more patiently and lilting. I fall into the chiming sound of her voice. She makes the proposition sound a lot better than Edward does, even though they're essentially speaking the same things in different variables. "The boys are about to go on another mission soon..."

"And we're gonna fucking get caught. Maybe not soon but we will..." Edward cuts back into the conversation, obstructing Alice's patience with his urgency. He makes this seem messy and dangerous. Whereas Alice makes it seem simple. I shake my head but continue to listen to what he has to say. "If your dad keeps trying his hardest to pin it on us. He's gonna find something crucial eventually."

I look between the two of them, confused, but not so sure that I want them to ease my bewilderment. "So, what does that have to do with me?"

"Felix is from the 206. Maybe you can insinuate that he was the one who broke into Aro's house."

I look at Jake with raised eyebrows. Since he stays in La Push he knows everyone who lives here. "I thought he lived in La Push with Embry?"

"Yeah, because his mom married Embry's dad last year." Jake nods his head, agreeing with both me and Edward. "But he is originally from Kirkland."

"But why would Felix steal from Aro?"

"All we can say is that Aro played Felix's mom." Alice chimes vaguely, a trait that Edward probably taught her. They just don't know that their evasiveness makes people want to pry more, or that it sheaths them with a dangerous curtain that has me wanting to adamantly refuse what they're asking me to do.

Jake finishes the thought with more details. "And that was what caused his parents to divorce."

I don't feel right with what they're asking me at all. It makes a whole avalanche of nerves break into my stomach. There's butterflies swarming me now. They're trained eyes aren't making this any easier either. "Won't he go to jail?"

"Who gives a fuck what happens to that little prick?" Edward snaps, raking through his head with agitation. He wants to do more than just blame the act on Felix. I'm surprised the kid is even still alive. I wonder whatever happened to the money he'd stolen from them. "He's playing us high and dry Bella."

Alice always the reasoning one, steps in to calm down her cousins outbursts. She pats his shoulder with her tiny hands but he only shrugs her off. I can see that he's becoming a little more than irritated. I wonder what the hell he expects from me.

She offers me a half-smile, it's meant to be reassuring but it's nothing of the sort. "And anyway Bella we don't want you to directly blame it on Felix. Just hint around about it. Put the thought in your dad's mind. We just need him to lay off of Edward and the boys for a while."

"I don't know..."

"See Alice." Edward quickly disregards me, turning towards his car, getting ready to make a hasty retreat. "I told you this would be a waste of time."

Somehow his anger startles me, it makes me feel weird. It makes me feel like I'm just another person that's let him down. Knowing what I know about him now, I don't think I can deal with him losing what little trust he has in me.

I stop him before he can enter the car. "I didn't say no."

He turns back towards me slowly, lowering his gaze onto mine. I don't think that he's being very fair. He's deliberately harsh with people to get his way, to avoid being let down, but he doesn't understand that this is not the way to gain favors from people. This is a lot how Mike used to make me feel.

I shrink under his scrutiny. "What do you say then?"

Alice steps in once again, shaking her head at Edward and the discomfort that his attitude is seizing the group with. "You don't have to if you don't really want to."

"I mean..." I look down at the ground, unsure of how I can refuse them when they're standing in front of me like this. They came to my aid on numerous occasions. Of course, I never asked them to do anything drastic like this before. I don't even know why Carlisle thought I was half-way capable of pulling this off. I can barely lie to get my own self out of trouble. "I guess it's the least I can do."

_And then we're all allies. Our lives suddenly trumped with a puzzle that burns our taste buds._

* * *

**AUTHOR QUESTIONS:**

**1) Is Edward the kind of guy you would be attracted to? Does mysteriousness and danger draw you in?**

**2) Or are you more of the sensible type? Would you stay clear away from him and his troublesome lifestyle?**

**3) Do you think Bella is making a mistake?**


	8. Free Balling

**Special thanks to all of the supporters.**

**IMPORTANT:** I want to give individual shout outs to **Ana Rod** and **SunflowerFran**. They are awesome and amazing people. I appreciate all of your support and hope that you will continue to enjoy the fic!

I **LOVE** positive criticism.

I want to write for the rest of my life.

**For beautiful readers like you guys.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 8 : **

**FREE-BALLING **

_"They tell you to be yourself_

_And then they judge you_

_Everyone's not going to like you_

_And that's fine."_

* * *

Edward and Alice do not stay long at Jacob's house and neither do I. Before we left church, Charlie had instructed me to come straight home after dropping Jake off. Sunday is still our day and he wants us to have lunch together before he and Billy head onto their fishing trip.

The diner is like Charlie's personal sanctuary. His favorite food is steak and that is all he ever orders when we go there. Dinner or lunch after church had always been one of Renee's infamous traditions as well. This is one of the traditions that I actually do not hate.

Not having to cook dinner tonight however, does not make up for the ill feelings I get from thinking about what I am planning to do once I sit across from Charlie inside of that booth. I am going to look him directly in the face and lie to him, and it's all to help a bunch of criminals that terrorize my hometown with their elaborate ploys.

A group of criminals that I once loathed. A group of criminals that I may or may not have a minuscule soft spot for. I think I've literally just gone down in the book of records for the world's "Most Untrustworthy Daughter". I wonder how quickly Edward and Alice would have refused to betray one of their family members. Loyalty seems like a quality that they deeply cherish amongst each other, they always hold it down for those they have bonds with, yet they had absolutely no qualms with requesting me to turn my back on someone I have ties with.

They were only looking after their own desires. Not caring about how I felt about it. Especially Edward. He only knew of his wants, being very in touch with his feelings, but not bothering to regard those of others.

My heart feels very tight, like a thousand weights are sitting on top of it, as Charlie gives me a cordial nod from across the dinner table.

We've been given our menus by a waitress that I recognize as Leah Clearwater. It's only a tiny coincidence that Charlie just so happens to bring up Jacob after she takes our drink orders and flits away. "So, did Jake like the church session?"

"It's not really his sort of thing." I try to ease up Charlie's interpretation of Jake's behavior from earlier. I bet he would just love a reason to make me stay away from him. "He only came because I asked him to."

"You guys hit it off?" He looks at me over his menu, there's no mistaking his interest.

I know he trusts Billy and he even trusts me, but the entire outside world is who Charlie does not trust. He is never not skeptical of people. That's part of the reason why I refuse to approach someone without the benefit of the doubt. I've seen Charlie shut so many people out of our lives because he did not want to take a chance with trusting them.

That makes me echo with uneasiness. I know just how much heartache releasing his confidence in the wrong people has caused him throughout the years. It's one of the reasons why he can't allow another women into his life, it's one of the reasons why he has restricted me so much.

The fact that I fit directly into the category with those fainthearted people will tear him to pieces.

I nod my head, swallowing numerous times to dislodge the barreling lump that's forming inside of my throat. "Yeah, he's a really nice person. He's kind and genuine."

I see Charlie shifting with displeasure. The last thing I need for him to do is worry about my friendship with Jake. He needs to be worrying about my mental health because either I'm just really amenable, or I'm crazy and need to be checked out immediately.

"He's a little rowdy don't you think?"

"Charlie, not all teenagers live inside of their bedrooms." I make sure he knows that I don't agree with his guidance tactics, but I don't give him too much of a hard time. He definitely doesn't deserve that out of me. I still don't hesitate to take up for Jacob though. "And he's actually very smart even though he does party from time to time."

"Yeah, Billy told me that Jacob was working on getting a scholarship." Charlie actually grunts in approval. This brings a short smile to my face, because in that second I see that he's deciding to give Jacob a small chance."Supposedly, that's the award to the winner of that contest he's entering."

"A scholarship?" I wonder why he did not tell me about this when we were discussing the contest back in his garage. I hope he believes in himself as much as I do. It would be a waste of energy to doubt himself when he's clearly so talented.

Charlie nods his head, he likes happy endings to the stories that belong to the kids who aren't born with the special privileges he and I had. Well, he likes it that way most of the time. "To one of those trade schools for mechanics and engineering."

Leah comes back with our drink orders, unbeknownst to the fact that Charlie and I are conversing about the boy who has it bad for her. I can see why Jake likes her too. She is independent unlike most of the teenagers who opt to live off of their parent's finances, she has a good head on her shoulders, and she is definitely something to look at.

Her skin is a smooth light brown, the churning depths of chocolate and airy caramel mingling with each other in a suntanned rendezvous. Her features are so prominent that they make her exotic. She's full-lipped, with eyes the color and shape of roasted almonds, a thick black mane cascades down the front and back of her shoulders in very loose waves, and she is structured in a petite way that completely works for the gentle kind of beauty she is.

She's not necessarily striking like Rosalie but that's okay. Jake likes those low-key kind of girls.

Charlie and I decided what we were going to eat long before she came back with the drinks. He gets the steak platter as usual and since I'm feeling bland I order the garden burger.

"Jake would love that. Especially since he doesn't attend the greatest school." I make sure to wait until Leah disappears again to commence our conversation about Jacob.

"La Push schools have Kirkland beat by a long shot." Here goes the mentioning of Kirkland, and the apathy that Charlie holds for anyone who is associated with it. "Sometimes I wonder about what those kids are going to do when their time runs out."

I look down into my chocolate malt, suddenly not craving the sugary release as much as I thought I was. I realize that an opening is coming up very soon, a spot where I can ease my way in and manipulate the conversation in the direction I want it to go. "What do you mean?"

"After high school, what are they planning?" I almost think that Charlie is meaningfully pondering their well-beings, until his finished thought tells me otherwise. He doesn't expect them to succeed. In fact, he's severely confident that they won't. "That's if they're not all dead or locked up by then."

Instead of defending their potential, I take what Charlie has given me and run away with it. "Yeah, the rumors about them just keep getting crazier and crazier."

His interest enlivens just as I knew it would. "What do you mean?"

"Hasn't Harry told you?"

"Nothing newer than that fight." This conversation has acquired a whole new relevance now and it makes my stomach twist into knots. "Is there something more than that?"

"I was in the bathroom and heard some girls talking about this guy..." My mouth feels dry because Charlie's penetrating scrutiny is burning the inside of my body into useless ash. I do all that I can to keep my tone nonchalant, as if I'm not paying attention to every word that I allow myself to utter, as if this is not all very diabolical. "I think his name is Felix or something like that."

"I know the kid. He's had some previous run ins with the law."

"Well, apparently he used to be a part of Kirkland's crew." I toss my words around carelessly, channeling all of my nerves out in the subtle tapping my feet do under the table. "Until his mom married into La Push. Supposedly, he betrayed them and now there's beef."

Charlie leans forward, probably not consciously, this fable is fueling him. "How'd he betray them?"

"He started compromising their..." My breaths have slowed. I think my brain has lost all control of my lungs because now it's just so focused on relieving the terrible hollowness in the pit of my stomach. I have to remind myself to inhale, otherwise I'd probably drop dead, and wouldn't that be the noblest death for a bold-faced liar? "Less than conventional ways of making money."

"Yeah?"

It's funny that Alice and Edward had not briefed me on exactly what they'd wanted me to say to Charlie. I'd gotten the vibe that Edward wanted me to blame the whole thing on Felix, while Alice simply instructed me to hint at his possible involvement. I try to make myself believe that it's not so bad just leading Charlie in the wrong direction for a while, but these lies of omission are starting to really add up on my account.

It's the arms of Kirkland wrapping around me. I'm lying habitually, sneaking around, and condoning blatant criminality. It's sort of like what Edward had said before. The recklessness is fun while it's happening but after that quick surge of adrenaline is over and you are left with the mess of its remains, there is nothing left but the harrowing feeling that makes you want to stop flirting with danger.

_And that particular feeling that tells you that you're already in too deep._

"Kirkland couldn't figure out how they were getting beaten to all of the major..."

Charlie finishes my sentence knowingly, unknowing that what he thinks he knows now is actually a couple of paces further away from the truth than he was before. "Illegal money-making opportunities?"

"And Felix just recently stole another opportunity out of their hands." I say, adding the intentional _"whatever"_ shrug after I've finished my sentence. "That's what all of the beef is about. Or so I heard."

"Do you think they're talking about that Aro's case?"

"Oh." This is the cherry on top of the cake. I lift my awareness languidly, feigning the best reflective face known to man. "I hadn't even pondered that."

"It would make sense. That gives me something to think about." Charlie actually smiles now, gleefully and optimism driven. If I hated myself before, I utterly and completely loathe myself now. The gratitude he tosses across the table practically singes the lie right off of my skin. "Good ears Bella. You know you're a cop's daughter when you pick up on information like that."

**...**

The rest of dinner is neither horrible or reprising. It's simply indeterminate but I guess it depends on whose eyes you look at it from. To Charlie, the remainder of those thirty something minutes probably escalate a new purpose into his bloodstream. I can imagine him going to work tomorrow with high aspirations. For the first time in months, his co-workers won't take a look at him and wonder why they never see a genuine smile turning up against his lips. He'll be encouraging them, and patting their backs, and telling them how much he appreciates his daughter.

"Hey Jellybean?" Jacob's voice is boyish through the receiver of my cell phone. I have him on speaker while I lay in my bed and finish my homework for tomorrow. "Did you talk to Charlie?"

Jake hadn't had the chance to give me his opinion before I left his house. Now I find myself wondering what he thought of my decision.

"Yes." I say, quietly staring at the numbers in my text book, but not making much sense of it now that my mind is in a whole different place.

"Did he believe you?" Jake asks curiously, his tone isn't as light as it usually is.

I sigh out my answer. Charlie's reaction is the only thing that I can go off of. "As far as I know."

"How do you feel about..." Jake tries to find his words, keeping everything casual. I try to imagine what his face would look like if we were in the same room. "You know, lying for them?"

"I feel like it was something I shouldn't have done." This is nothing but the truth, Edward's blazing eyes are the extent of my reasoning for doing what I did. "But something that I had to do."

"You didn't have to do it." Jake tells me, assured in the way he says this, but not judgmental in the slightest. His voice is firm but still with ease. It isn't light but it's not bogged down with seriousness. Serious is not Jake. He's carefree even when he is having a real conversation.

"Edward and Alice would've been disappointed."

"Yeah, so what?" I can just picture Jake shrugging his shoulders carelessly, "They would have found another way without your help. They're really resourceful. Trust me."

I have to counter him though. "Then why do you help them?"

"Because I don't have anything to lose." This is not the type of reply I am expecting from out of him. The way he says it hits a nerve.

"Jake..." I want him to know that I am no different from him. My social, parental, or financial circumstances do not make me better than him. We have the same chances, the same odds, the same amount of potential.

Yeah, we're different. But we're the same in certain aspects.

He doesn't let me finish my thought, and it immediately slips my mind when he begins to talk again. "And I don't like the way Cullen used that reverse psychology on you."

"What?"

"How he made you feel like you owed it to him or something." I'm not surprised that Jake caught on to that. I thought I was the only one who'd witnessed how Edward tried to smother me with his gaze. "Bella, I told you that he's tricky. He's not some smiley hero."

"He's not a villain either." I say this because it is true. I know this for a fact. Or at least I think I do.

"Being in between isn't much better." Jacob clarifies, undeterred by how quickly I jump to Edward's defense. I have to stop doing that because it's happening more often than I like. "I'm not saying he's all bad but there's no disputing that he has bad tendencies."

I close my text book, giving up any thought on focusing. I am consumed with this conversation to the point where the sickness that's still somewhere in my stomach is easy to ignore now. "I know that."

"He's a very self-supplying person. He uses people to get what he wants." Jake is never harsh with his truth. He is always simple and I appreciate how he doesn't try to patronize me because he thinks I made a bad decision. His opinions are leveled, never crossing the line of respect, and he does this because he's not assertive in the way that Edward is. "But in doing that he makes allies. He'll definitely never forget that you helped him. But that's all there is."

"What do you mean?" I ask curiously, knowing how Jacob can tend to shift in a philosophical direction when he begins to explain things.

"To him you're just an ally. He doesn't care about you." Nevertheless, his explanations always make perfect sense. The gist is always easy to grasp. Even If I don't entirely agree with it. "It takes shit loads of patience and effort to breakthrough to people like Edward."

"I think you're reading into this too much." I say to him.

"I think you like being in denial because it comforts you." He chuckles his retort, but launches right back in shortly afterward. "There's a part of Edward that's tucked deep under his layers of pain and regret. I know this because I've seen it. It's what everyone wants to pull out of him. But what they don't get is that he keeps that part hidden for a reason.

I am completely quiet by now. Jake is right about one of two things that he has just said. Edward does have another side of him. I see it when something causes his grip on his outside demeanor to slip.

Of course I am curious about what's all underneath there. But considering the fact of Tanya and the differences Edward's world poses against mine, I never put much into the initial thought of actually figuring him out. I liked to poke at his armor whenever we happened to be around each other, but that was hardly a passionate aspiration of mine.

_Unless it was an unconscious one..._

"Unless you're his long-lost soul mate or something you're going to run yourself ragged trying to pull it out of him."

I roll my eyes because I know Jacob can't see my reaction from where he is. "Who said that I wanted to pull it out of him anyway?"

"You did." Jake says firmly. "When you agreed to help him by betraying your father's trust."

Jake's words leave me reeling for the rest of the night.

_You did..._

_You did..._

_You did..._

There was something about the way he said it that had sent a shiver down my spine. I took those words to bed with me. Was that what this really was? Had I inadvertently chosen my intrigue with Edward over the trust of my father?

I awake on a Monday morning I am not ready for. The clouds are already rolling over the sky. I see this through the window next to my bed, evidence that this day is about to be a foreshadowed drag. My name is sure to be circulating the halls with rumors that sound nothing like the truth.

Me breaking up with Mike is going to turn into him dumping me for Jessica because she's just been nominated cheer captain, the in-crowd shunning me is going to be because I betrayed them horribly and not because I decided to be through with their deceitfulness.

The student body is going to have their eyes on me as someone who's a culprit, someone to feel pity for, and someone who deserves to be talked about. It's stupid because none of them are going to know the truth, but they're going to act like they do and not care if some of their facts may be incorrect. It's all fun and games for them but not for the people who get scorned.

I'd never noticed how oppressive of an establishment Forks really was.

Until that night in Kirkland changed my perspective on everything.

Charlie almost has to pry me out of the car when we pull up in front of the school building. I don't know if he notices how everyone immediately stops what they're doing to look at me, but he doesn't seem to care with the way he rushes me out of the cruiser. I think he is excited to go tell everyone else down at the station that he's got some kind of new lead to go off of, something to refresh the dry path they've been stumbling blindly upon.

I feel like I'm in the freaking Twilight Zone when I walk through the hallways. People have given up trying to be modest. They all look directly at me, conspicuously following my trail while I take the walk of shame. I must have something on my face, or my hair must have puffed up from the dewy air, or my fellow peers are really just that rude. There's no one waiting at my locker today, not that I expected them to be there.

I'm sure Mike gave them all very specific directions to avoid me like the plague. Even Eric has refrained from seeking me out. I thought that he had more backbone than that. Apparently, I was wrong. Now I'm really wishing that I wouldn't have brushed him off like I did. It would be nice to have at least someone in my corner at a time like this.

My classmates try to eat me alive during the first few class periods. They drink me in with their obvious scorn, chew me up with their undercover giggles and mockery, and when the class is over they spit me back out for someone else to have their turn.

I don't dare go down to the cafeteria for lunch. Without having a place to sit and a group to belong in, that would just be grounds for me to stick out more. I can just imagine the smug and nasty looks Mike and Jessica would flash me when they strutted past whatever table I would decide to seek refuge at. It would be ironic but not quite hard to understand, that two dastardly characters like that could make me doubt myself.

I don't even have an excuse to be in the library today. Except that I want to hide away for a while before I go face the world again. Which is hypothetically just Fork's abundant high of competitive gossipers. I sit at the far end of the room, at a table that is next to the big glass window that overlooks the front of the school. There aren't many people up here today. I am grateful for the solitude.

I am grateful for one calm, uninterrupted moment to myself...

And then Edward Cullen comes bustling through the doors, looking like a jaded rebel. I'm surprised to see him here. I've never known him to venture into the library. That is why my eyebrows lift when he heads purposely in my direction.

Mrs. Cope watches him with apprehensive eyes from where she sits. I look at the expression on her face and I wonder if we're both looking at the same thing, or better yet if we both see Edward in the same way.

I see bed tousled hair that has met its match from the tugging of itchy fingers, green eyes that are dark with things that make the actual lightness of their color seem dimmer, and quirked lips that never cease to rise with his favorite form of sarcasm.

He has on a pair of low-slung chino pants, a gray sweatshirt that reads "New York" in bold red letters, and matching Adidas that correspond to the color in his shirt and the black beanie on his head. There's a messenger bag slung across his slender torso and two books inside of his hands. He looks stylish and aberrant, like he's up to no good as usual.

"I knew I'd find you here." He beams sarcasm at me. I have to keep my heart from imploding with exasperation and excitement. "Hiding away are we?"

I can't help but to glance around, shrinking into myself from the thought of anyone seeing Edward approaching me so casually. I can only imagine what fun that would add to the hallway gossip. "Do you think this is the best time to be talking?"

"Don't tell me you're scared of what people may think." His taunting expression is followed by a soft laugh. I watch him slide into the seat across from me. There is mischief inside of his eyes. "I guess you've never been on the other end of gossip before."

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, I was swarmed with the rumors as soon as I stepped into the building. I didn't know you and Mike had three abortions Bella or that Yorkie was your secret lover."

I slam by book onto the table a little too roughly, giving Mrs. Cope the perfect excuse to drift her hungry eyes in our direction. She drinks us in just like a hungry teenager. This scrutiny is unwavering and getting under my skin, not just the sly looks from her but also the ones my classmates send me whenever they happen to pass me in the halls.

"Oh shut up, you know that's all complete bull."

Edward shrugs his shoulders, leaning back in his chair that balances on two of its four legs. I want to give him one good shove under the table to see that smug expression fall. "You can't say it's not a little funny."

"It's fucking not." I mumble bitterly, it must be an everyday thing for him. People stare at the Kirkland kids funny wherever they go. But I'm not used to it.

So it really fucking irks.

"Why do you care what these people say about you anyway?" His opinions about Forks and its inhabitants are obviously less than favorable. I know he doesn't value what the people here think about him, or what they say behind his back, or how they feel about his lifestyle. He couldn't care less and I wish that I could have the same mentality. "You know none of it is true."

I lower my gaze away from his. He thinks that I'm silly and immature. "It's annoying."

His lips twitch with an insulting mockery. I'm glad he's having so much fun at my expense. "Are you gonna cry your little heart out, Princess?"

I straighten my chin out to look at him "No."

"That's disappointing." His tone is almost as dry as his facial expression. The smile on his mouth doesn't quite reach his eyes. "I thought for sure you were gonna play the damsel role."

"Well, you thought wrong." I flash him a condescending smile before rolling my eyes and looking back down at my book.

"Apparently so, now look..." He tilts his head to the side, moving into the real reason why he left his circle of friends to seek me out. I'm not arrogant enough to believe that he simply likes to bide his time with getting reactions out of me. Of course I'd known he had an ulterior motive. He always does. "I need to ask another favor from you."

"I don't..." I begin to decline before he can even tell me what it is. I don't want him getting the impression that I'm going to keep putting my ass on the line to help him out. If Jake is right and he thinks I'm an ally of his, then he is going to have to learn that allies are for mutual support and not self-progression.

"It's nothing big. Nothing remotely like last time." He promises before I can completely decline him.

"What do you want?" I ask skeptically, only vaguely interested to hear what off the wall things he is going to ask of me now.

"I want you to listen to me. I'm going to ask you some questions." He's talking slowly, as if he's trying to keep me from jumping off board. "You answer them. Keep your nagging to a minimum. Just go with the flow."

His blatant rudeness raises my eyebrows. "Are you fucking serious?"

Waving his finger in my direction, he awards my contempt with a solemn head shake. "I'm the one asking the questions."

I almost curse him out but I am able to contain myself. I grit my teeth and tersely give him the floor to speak. "Go ahead."

"Did you do what I needed you to do?"

I bet he expects me to have chickened out. I'm a princess to him, I'm a weakling, I'm incapable of getting my hands dirty. If only he knew how difficult it was for me to go through with that, he would undoubtedly be giving my character a lot more credit. "If you think I went back on my word..."

He groans out his exasperation quite dramatically. "It's a simple yes or no."

"Yes."

"I want to thank you for that." There's a softness on his face for a split second. It is endearing to say the least. I can't help but appreciate the slight meekness he allows himself to hold. It's not something that I see very often. "It really means a lot."

"Your welcome." Even though I'm not happy with myself for doing it, I want him to know that it was genuine. I try not to remember Jacob's words from last night. They still make me feel weird when they find their way aboard my train of thoughts.

"So, I have a few other questions." That softness is gone as quickly as it came, there is now a seriousness washing over the visible parts of him. "First off, what time does Mike's football practice let out?"

A warning goes off immediately. The innocent expression he's trying to wear so well causes my eyes to narrow in his direction. He can only be up to no good, back to his delinquent escapades again. Back to the shit that I don't want to get sucked into. "Why do you need to know?"

He ignores me profusely, waving away my curiosity with his crucial demands. "Just answer the question."

"Answer mine first."

"No." He says flatly, arching an eyebrow like he's waiting for me to challenge him.

"No?" I repeat incredulously, unable to take my eyes off of his natural defiance. He sits there as if this is a game to him. There is nothing off about him. He's radiating with cleverness and intrigue. I want to roll my eyes, or yell in frustration, or even shove this table over and stalk away.

"You heard me right."

My arms cross over my torso stubbornly. I'm getting sick of his impudent boldness. He can't always have his way, especially if he is not willing to compromise. "Then I'm not telling you."

"This doesn't have to be difficult Bella." Edward says this easily, presenting his proposition through a crooked smile. He finds my irritation funny and he doesn't even try to hide it. "I just need a time."

I sigh at him but relent, knowing that agreeing somewhat is the only way I'll find out the answers to what I want to know. It's a give and receive thing with him. Though, he's always the one whose giving less and receiving more. "Around six. No later than seven."

"Do his parents work late tonight?" Everyone knows that Mrs. and Mr. Newton are big-time lawyers. They spend most of their time down at the firm, working on ways to full-proof their cases. Their life at home is practically non-existent. Mike will probably see them twice out of the whole week. It would be a surprise if they were there tonight.

"They work late almost everyday. There's no telling what time they're going to get off though." I look at Edward's thoughtful expression cautiously. "Why do you want to know this stuff anyway?"

"I'm thinking about taking a tour through the infamous Newton household. Look at it as compensation for busting your face up."

I'm immediately shaking my head at him. The idea is incredibly risky, not to mention dumb. Though I am flattered that he would spite someone in my honor, it didn't make sense for him to put himself out on the line like that. "I don't want to get back at him."

Apparently, Edward doesn't really care about what I want. He easily shrugs off my words and they fall away unheard. "Well, I do."

"Why?" I don't know what I want to hear him say, but I definitely want him to say something.

He rolls his eyes at my question. "I thought my reasoning was exceptionally clear."

"So, you're just going to break into his house and steal all of his stuff?"

"Either I find something valuable to recompense for the startling emotional damage he's inflicted upon me." His sarcasm is not unnoticed, nor is his unwavering perseverance. Of course I should have known that I couldn't stray Edward away from the path that he is on. "Or I bust his face up again so you two can having matching bruises."

I try to brush his blunt words off. I know that he is trying to make a specific point. He needs a whole lot of help on the tactics that he uses to help people. "I'm not asking for revenge. So that's not your choice to make."

"Then you decide. Which one do you want me to do?" He holds his hands up in surrender, leaning more towards me with acquisition. The way he looks at me through those fringes of dark lashes makes my throat go dry. My rebuttal never arrives. "That's what I thought."

"What if you get caught?" Once Edward has made a decision it seems almost impossible for someone to advise him otherwise. Everything I've said through this entire conversation has entered his left ear and exited out of his right.

I want to know why he is so adamant on doing this. I know that he has other more important things to worry about. He already has to go raid a house tomorrow. I would think that he'd be resting up for that. Fucking Newton around will only add more pressure onto his life.

_And that is what gets me thinking..._

Edward doesn't really care about anything. His life and everything about it is indifferent to him. Mike however, and getting back at him, appears to be something that he finds thoroughly important. There has to be more to it. Maybe he hasn't completely let go of the beef that was between them before, because this sudden spawn of a plan can't all be for the achievement of justice on my behalf.

"You know me by now." There's a wink that he gives me. It's only that and nothing more. "Don't worry about me, little Swan."

**...**

Edward Cullen is impossible. He really is.

Every time I find myself having a conversation with him there is always a very peculiar feeling leftover even after the conversation has ended. It's like having an after taste to something incredibly tangy. It's evident and it lingers more than you would like it to.

Like a ghost that hasn't had enough time to wander the world.

When I make it to my fourth hour class, I am lacking the energy that it takes to pay my speculators any mind. I am too busy trapped inside of my thoughts to be irritated with them now. I am very introspective when I want to be and that's the point, because I never really want to be. Whenever I tend to think deeply about something I get bogged down. My thoughts consume me, I get stuck inside of some self-examining rut, and it is very hard to pull myself out of.

There are so many things to ponder, yet there is only one thought that stands out more intensely than the rest.

I am in a crossroads.

A week ago everything was normal inside of my life. I was Mike's girlfriend, I was popular, and I was easily ignoring the iniquitousness that torpedoed my world. It all seemed very in place. There were no blurred lines or confusion. There were no compromising boundaries. And I definitely hadn't been a traitor last week.

Now, Edward Cullen is walking up to me and seeking me out in libraries like we're best friends. He's from Kirkland and I am from Forks, but that sadly doesn't even matter anymore. His life is drugs, madness, and chaos. He's a criminal. I should be appalled by him. I'm a cop's daughter for goodness sakes and that is what makes the situation so entirely messed up.

I'm not just any cop's daughter. I am the daughter of the one cop who absolutely loathes Edward Cullen and his counterparts. I am the offspring of the man who plans on throwing away the keys to the bars that Kirkland will be put behind. This all really wouldn't matter to me if Alice hadn't of kidnapped me that night. It all started there. Everything that has transpired since then is a product of that night. If it never would've happened I'd probably still be sitting at lunch with the in-crowd and staring at the Kirkland table the same way everyone had stared at me today, I'd probably still be craving a thrill because it seemed like fun and not because I actually knew how addicting it could be from experience, and I'd probably still think of Edward as being far beneath me.

If it wouldn't have happened I know for a fact I wouldn't be sitting here worrying about the trouble that Edward finds his way into so often.

"So, that's your ploy huh?"

Eric Yorkie successfully pulls me out of my troubled reveries. He is sitting beside me, doodling inside of his notebook, and staring at the random drawings with a tightened jaw. If I am not mistaken he looks upset. I am actually astonished that he's even talking to me at all. I wonder if I should ask him why the frown on his face is so set in stone. Should I even care about his feelings? Are we even still friends?

"What are you talking about?"

"You know I'm not like them Bella." This is how he starts off. His tone is troubled, begging me to understand. He keeps his eyes away from mine purposely. "I barely agree with Mike."

"You could have fooled me." I say dismissively, though I'm not necessarily upset with him. I know how Eric is. He has always been a follower. His essential makeup didn't have the credentials that were needed to be comfortable with a leading role. He has to fall into step and he does that behind Mike. I don't blame him fully. I hope one day he'll be strong enough to walk on his own.

"I was planning on talking to you today. I was just waiting on the right time."

"Yeah, a time when Mike's not around." My mind is absent. I'm trying to keep myself leveled on this conversation. I don't want to accuse him but my voice comes out harsher than I'd planned.

"I was going to catch you at lunch." He amends quietly, looking up from the loops he's been drawing all over his sheet of paper. He says this as if it means something very significant. "I knew you weren't going to be in the cafe."

"I was in the library." I reply truthfully, cocking my head to peer at him more closely. I have nothing to hide if that is what he thinks. Duh I wasn't in the cafe. Why would I subject myself to that sort of treatment?

He nods his dark head slowly but surely. "I know you were. I saw you there."

"What?" I ask curiously, my eyes widen when I register the content of his words.

"I only had to walk halfway through the door to see that you were busy." He says this in a way that brings awareness to the subtle disdain he lays upon the table. His eyes are scrutinizing me in a different way than everyone else. I feel uncomfortable underneath that type of heat, like I've just been caught doing something extremely wrong. "Since when are you and Cullen besties?"

"It's not like that." My response is quick and it is the truth. I know Eric doesn't believe this though.

"I knew you were acting different for a reason. He's probably brainwashing you and you're just so gullible to let him do it."

"He's not brainwashing me any more than Mike did." He doesn't know what the hell he is talking about. Plus he has a whole lot of nerve. "And you're one to talk."

He frowns and looks back down at the notebook in front of him. "What the fuck could he possibly have been talking to you about?"

"Why does it even matter? It's not like you care." I have to wonder why he is so upset. He already chose Mike over our friendship. It's not like I've done anything to scorn him. "I know where I stand with you. You're with Mike."

He laughs bitterly, as if I am absurd, as if I have turned my back on the entire population of Forks. "And you're with Kirkland?"

"I never said that." I chew on my lip nervously, failing to ignore the chilling impact of his accusation.

"You didn't have to. You're taking up for Edward Cullen and spending lunch periods with him. Does Tanya know? Are you friends with everyone on that side of the tracks?"

I have never known myself to be the argumentative type. I'm just usually submissive and easily swayed. I'm a lot like Eric or a least I used to be. Sometimes it's easier to fall in line than fight for your own opinions. Nowadays, it seems like I'm quick to defend myself, or someone who I feel is being wronged, or something that I do not find fair. Mike noticed this when I broke up with him the other night. Eric is just now noticing it and he doesn't like it.

"You don't have room to judge anyone Eric."

The grimace on his face expands. "You don't know who they are."

"Neither do you." I remind him of this fact that I have never failed to forget. Eric does not know them. He knows half-truths about them and empty rumors.

If he knew the real truth about them maybe he wouldn't be so quick to judge, or maybe the real truth still wouldn't change a thing. Either way, Edward is a bad boy. The only difference is that the rumors make him out to be someone who is heartless, someone to be feared. My version of the truth allows him to be depicted as someone who is misunderstood, someone that might be redeemable.

Eric sounds very much like Charlie and Mike, refusing my sound words rather closed-mindedly. "I know enough to stay away from them. You're just asking for trouble."

I could almost laugh at his hypocrisy. It's all double-standards, falseness, and unsustainable irony. "And I wasn't when I was with Mike?"

"Alright Bella, fine. I give up." I don't know why my stomach drops when he says this. I immediately seek his eyes out but he refuses to look at me. "I'm obviously wasting my breath."

With wounded feelings, I look away from the scowling boy. "Clearly."

"Just remember that I told you so." The ominousness that trembles his nerves just doesn't seem right coming from him. Eric is the lighthearted one. I can honestly say that I have never ever witnessed this type of reaction out of him. He's never even gotten this perturbed at Mike before, which is odd considering that Mike has done tons of disputable shit to him over the years. "When you get killed, or locked up, or fucked over...just remember."

"Wow, you're such a good friend Eric." I say this with derision, keeping a lock on the sad feelings that lurk underneath.

"You're gonna be wishing you had a friend. A true one." This has the be the thing that's hit me the hardest all day. His words crash into me. They impale every inch of my body with their ire. Before this day, I had not known that this person existed inside of Eric. "People are gonna find out sooner or later Bella. And you know when they do all hell is going to break loose."

_And then we're all just bitter fragrances. Our lives transparent through disbelief..._

* * *

**AUTHOR QUESTION:**

**1) Have you ever dated a bad boy?**

**2) Why do you think that generally, girls are attracted to the boys who push them away and act like they don't need them?**


	9. Internal

**AUTHOR NOTE :** Thank You For The Support...

**IMPORTANT**: This is the** last** chapter before school starts back up for me. Updates will **mostly** become **weekly**. If I can get them out faster than that then so be it.

Please continue to **read** and **support**.

**SPECIAL THANKS** TO **SunflowerFran** for being an awesome beta!

* * *

**CHAPTER 9 :**

**INTERNAL**

_"Everybody in the world wants to be understood and to have others appreciate them._

_Being different is scary. Solitude is pain and loneliness."_

* * *

There isn't much for me to do when school lets out. Charlie is busy at work, so he only has time to drop me off at home and head back to the station. I don't like driving my truck around all that often. It's not entirely fixed yet, and I don't like to put it through more than it can take. I have to drive back down to La Push sometime this week so Jake can finish working on it.

I don't think today is going to be that day, however. With all of the crazy stuff that has been happening lately, I actually want to stay in the house and have some time to myself. I feel like the people around me are sucking away all of my energy. That's why I hide away today. I need to get back some peace of mind.

I'm in the kitchen, throwing ingredients around the counter. I am preparing to cook something for dinner. It's a pastime of mine that I acquired at a very young age. When Renee left, the duties of cooking, cleaning, and maintaining the house, were all passed on to me. Either Charlie was too depressed to take on the role or the fact that he was a man made him inept at fulfilling it sufficiently.

The sound of my stainless steel knife slicing through a stack of carrots is the only noise inside of the kitchen. This silence leaves room for a lot of contemplation which I don't really need right now. I'd gotten enough of that during school today. I decide to grab my radio from upstairs and blast some music through the house. Drowning out my thoughts with cheesy pop music seemed the appropriate, teenage thing to do.

With my iPod docking station plugged in on top the counter, and an abundance of Katy Perry tunes filling the air, I get back to chopping veggies for the beef stew. It takes about fifteen minutes to prep for the stove. Once I get the pot simmering, I prepare to get my ingredients for the cornbread. I am oddly at ease while in this element.

Inside this carefree bubble where I am temporarily residing, I make sure that Charlie does not exist, and neither do Mike Newton and his followers. Eric definitely doesn't exist, and I try my hardest to make it the same for Kirkland.

Edward Cullen is the only thing that makes my bubble permeable. My thoughts of him are too collective; they're too strong, too diligent to be kept out. I know being enthralled with him cannot end well on my account. We're not even all that close of friends, and I've seen what being associated with him can bring you. I continue to let myself be wrapped up in his web of intrigue and it keeps pulling me deeper into Kirkland's burrows.

Not only is it a stupid notion simply because he has a girlfriend, but because he has _the_ girlfriend. Tanya Denali is all a man ever looks for his entire life. She's always down for whatever, she's that ride or die type of chick, she appears to be genuinely in love with him, and there's no denying the fact that her looks could put a supermodel to shame.

I'm not necessarily the most breath-taking girl in the world. Not that I'm trying to compete with Tanya in any way. That would probably just award me with a pre-written death note. Plus, I know that if it had to come down to him choosing, his loyalty will lie in the hands of the person who has been on his side since day one.

I'm sitting at the island, enjoying the music and a glass of juice while I wait for the food to be finished. I'm cool, calm, and collected. I'm vibing, and all put together for the meantime. I'm almost enjoying myself.

Almost.

My cellphone interrupts the music with its unexpected ringing. I don't feel like talking to anyone right now except maybe Jake for a couple of minutes. I snatch it off the counter to peer at the number. It's unfamiliar to me, so that's an easy ignore. The ringing only dies down for a few seconds until the person is calling again. I frown and send them to voice mail for the second time. I'm about to settle back into the groove I was in prior to the distraction, when my adamant pursuer calls again.

This time I decide to answer the phone, but just so I can tell this person to stop pestering me. I'm pretty sure they may have the wrong number anyway.

"Hello?" My voice is an irate greeting. I see no point in being cordial when this person has deliberately harassed me for the last five minutes. It isn't as if they couldn't have called me back later, preferably when I was in the mood to talk.

There's a smooth chuckling on the other end of the receiver. The sound is familiar and rich. I'd know who that dark humor belonged to anywhere. "It's about time you answered."

"How did you get my number?" I press the phone to my ear more snugly, as if this will allow me to hear the person any better. I'm too rooted inside of my spot to get up to turn the music down. Avril Lavigne is blasting through the kitchen, and Edward Cullen is on the phone with me. I can't see how this situation could get any more bizarre.

"Jacob lent it to me." Edward replies easily, speaking in a tone that is slightly hushed but unhurried. "I meant to ask you for it but it must have slipped my mind."

Hesitantly I ask him the question that's been on my mind since realizing that it was him who'd been bothering me. I want to know what's so important that he had to call me repeatedly. "What do you want?"

"Are you having a princess party without me?" His voice is alight with suspicion; I can imagine the playful smirk that's probably resting on his face now. "Where was my invite?"

I roll my eyes at his evasion. He beats around the bush way too often, especially when I know that something is up. I force myself towards the radio because I really need to turn it down now. His voice is way too soft on the phone. "I'm the only one here."

"All the more reason to invite me over." He taunts me quietly, I'm almost not sure that I heard him correctly. When his innuendo is followed by another chuckle, I know that I did. He gets a kick out of flustering me.

I swallow the breath that his words make me hold, reverting once again back to the basis of my previous question. "Edward, what do you want?"

He releases his playfulness almost immediately. It's as if he is able to exhale the lightness in his demeanor out with the carbon dioxide. "I wanna know where Newton keeps his door key."

I close up, grimacing at the realization. This is another one of his ploys, another way to get me to help him with his dirty deeds. I make up the first excuse that I can come up with to appease him. "He keeps it with him."

"Every rich idiot in the suburbs keeps a spare key somewhere outside the house. It's not in the mailbox or under the welcome mat. They're not as predictable as I thought they were. So, tell me where it is. I promise to pick you up something special."

My voice is a mirror of the emotions I'm harboring: Exasperation and agitation. I let him know up front how I'm feeling before he says something that destroys my coherency again. "I don't want any of your stolen goods, and I definitely don't want to be deemed an accomplice."

"I keep my mouth shut about things like that."

"Edward, why do you keep asking me to help you like this?"

He's quiet for a couple of moments, undoubtedly choosing his words with careful contemplation. His brows are probably scrunched right now, and those fingers are probably pulling at his sun kissed hair. "Because I know you're strong enough to do it. You scratch my back I scratch yours, right?"

I don't like that saying. All it does it guilt people into thinking they absolutely have to return someone a favor if they do a kind deed for you. "When are you gonna scratch my back?"

"Whenever you invite me to one of your exciting princess parties." I see that he's back to being evasive again, back to his thrilling mockery that makes my head spin.

I know that he's not going to let this go. Edward is adamant when he wants to be. He's got this way of getting things that he needs. Jacob was not lying when he called Edward self-supplying. Though, this burglary that he is attempting right now is not necessarily for his benefit.

"There are decorative stones going from the end of his driveway all the way up to the porch. Check underneath the ones closest to the rose bush. I can't remember the exact location, but I know the key is taped under one of those stones."

Just when I thought he couldn't get any more unbelievable, he asks me a question that has my defenses immediately skyrocketing. I can hear him busheling around wherever he is. "And what about his alarm system? What's the password?"

I shake my head wryly, wishing that he could see my expression at this point. He's fucking ridiculous. "Oh my fucking god Edward, I'm not giving that to you."

"Come on Princess, me coming all the way over here is going to be a giant waste if you don't. I need to get into the house before someone sees me." He makes his plea levelly, unable to hide the laughter in his voice. "Last thing I need is one of these uptight bimbos to come snooping around here."

I can feel myself gaining the annoyance that I need to refuse him. This is not my fight, it isn't my choice. I don't want him risking himself on my behalf. If this is even about me. "Nobody told you to go breaking into his house anyway."

I can almost see the laughter falling from his eyes. Something more serious takes its place inside of his tone. "I'm running out of time Bella."

I sigh against my phone; I suppose that he's right. "It's the four first numbers."

"Hmm?"

"You know, 1-2-3-4?"

"Are you being dead ass?" Edward's voice is nothing but droll.

I thought the same thing when Mike had told me. Apparently, his parents believed that no one would ever guess anything as simple as that. They weren't wrong. Try as they may, their tactics still failed. "Yes, I'm dead ass serious."

"Well, I take back what I said earlier. They _are_ a bunch of fucking idiots."

"Don't do anything stupid." I quip sarcastically; there isn't anything more stupid that he can get himself involved in though. Maybe I shouldn't say that aloud, because he always finds a way to surprise me.

"I guess I should say the same for you. Definitely don't try to come to Kirkland tonight. I won't be there to keep you safe. Unless you think you're bad enough to fend for yourself."

"Don't worry. I wasn't planning on crossing the tracks tonight." There is nothing but the truth in that statement. I don't even know what really came over me that night. In my right state of mind, I definitely won't be making anymore, hasty decisions like that. "Hopefully I'll see you at school tomorrow. At least then I'll know that you're not somewhere locked behind bars."

"You don't have to doubt me." There's more meaning to his words than I am able to catch when he first says them. After pondering them for a second, my heart flushes with adrenaline. "I'm not Mike."

...

Edward's impromptu phone call certainly eradicated my plans of keeping my thoughts at bay. All I could think about was him easing his way through Mike's house, transforming from a teenage boy into the image of Kirkland's greatest lawbreaker. I imagine that it's effortless for him to commit these types of deeds. He's unrestricted by a conscience, and fear doesn't know how to touch him. It's second nature, it's dangerous, and it's inviting.

My carefree night is only further interrupted when Charlie comes barreling into the house later that night. I am still sitting at the counter with the music playing. The food is obviously done. To bide my time I am pretending to be entertained with my homework.

He sees me immediately, and there's a sort of warmness on his face. This is the first time that I've seen him calm after coming from work. There are no grunts of frustration or hard stares. I'd be relieved if I didn't know that this new lightness is due to the false info I fed to him over the dinner table. He likes feeling successful in what he does. He likes to think he is protecting the people that he cares about and that he's doing a good job. He doesn't want to lose anyone else close to him.

The next hour turns into Charlie discussing his day with me. I don't know what makes his lips so loose. He doesn't usually like to be so open with his cases. I'm typically the one who questions him about it. Today he surprises me with his trust, which saddens me. I'm definitely not the one he should confide in. The more he tells me, the more information I have to relay back to Edward.

And I know if Edward asks me, I'm going to end up telling him. I don't know why it always happens that way. It just does.

The word is out on Felix now. They don't have anything but a tip-off from me, a possible motive, and the necklace with the 206 on it. They can't prosecute him with that type of evidence, but now they can point their focus in a specific direction. They're going to be watching Felix and his friends a lot more now, which inadvertently takes the spotlight off of Edward so he can maneuver through his missions without being watched so closely. He's no longer the key suspect, and that is exactly how he'd wanted it.

Charlie tells me that they are waiting for Felix to strike again. They think whenever he commits another crime they'll be able to find a correlation between the two. He's confident this time, saying that they only need a little more evidence to link the burglary to him.

This makes me wonder how Edward and his boys are planning on going about their mission tomorrow night. It gives me the motivation to give Jacob a call. I want to know whose house they're planning on raiding this time, I want to tell him about Edward's decision to take Mike's house for himself, and I mainly just want to see how his day went since I spent most of mine cooped up.

When I call Jake it is right before I'm about to go to bed. We talk for a good thirty to forty-five minutes. He lets me know that he was working on the Rabbit all day after school. The contest is exactly a month from now, but he's confident that he's going to have everything all hooked up by then. Our conversation resonates around the subjects of school, family, friends or lack of friends in my case, he tells me that he asked Leah for her number in class today, and then I tell him more about Cullen.

It turns out that Jake's mom helps him fulfill community service for school by allowing him to volunteer at the recreation center. She manages it with another lady who lives in La Push. Now anyone who signs up to teach a class or offers to coach down at the rec has to register, and Jake's mom keeps filed documents of that person's personal information in a storage room that is only accessible to the people who work there. Jake gets a key to that room whenever he volunteers.

I don't comment on the fact that he betrays the trust of his mother in the same way I did with Charlie. I don't think that would have made either one of us feel better.

Jake tells me that he picks people randomly but sort of with a strategy. He makes sure to choose houses with a high success rate. That includes people who live alone, who volunteer frequently, and who may live in shrouded neighborhoods rather than ones that are teeming with people.

Aro Sheen had been the perfect candidate. He doesn't have a family, he spends most of his time in his art studio, and his free time teaching art classes down at the rec. Edward and the boys had memorized his daily schedule down to the T thanks to Jake's helpful insight. It was easy for them to slip in through the basement window because they had everything timed perfectly. Aro worked the nine to five shift and then volunteered from six to nine on Mondays and Wednesdays.

Jake says that the way their plan had worked out was almost too perfect, and he assumes that this time they will have the same amount of ease. The house belongs to Amun and Kebi Roberts. They are a newlywed couple who have only recently moved into town. They live not too far away from me actually. I could probably walk to their house in ten minutes top.

Since the raid had to be on a Tuesday, Jake made sure to pick someone that volunteered on that day. Amun is a youth basketball coach. All the little boys from La Push come to practice with him. Meanwhile, Kebi works the night shift down at the twenty-four hour bakery near the highway. They both aren't expected to be home until late that night. It gives the boys the perfect opportunity to get in there, take what they need, and get out.

I'm sure that when the news becomes known, Charlie will immediately point his finger in Felix direction. While he's searching for something with Felix's fingerprints on it, Carlisle is going to be instructing the boys to make their next moves.

It's the systematic way of things. It's the bond with their allies. I realize the reason why the Kirkland boys are so successful is because people spend all of their time blaming things on them but not the people who help them out. The ridicule gets focused on them; their coconspirators feel confident in the fact of their discretion, and both sides reek benefits in one way or another.

_The funny thing is how the golden faces have the dirtiest hands..._

The next day is one of ease for me. There's always something about the second day of walking into a building full of people who don't like you that just sits more calmly than the first. I already know what to expect when I sit down for my classes. People are still mumbling about my downfall, but they're not as entertained by it as they were yesterday, and this comforts me because I know tomorrow they'll be looking for something altogether different to muse about.

The only part that freaks me out is lunchtime. I know that I can't possibly hide in the library for the rest of the school year. There is going to be a point where I have to face my fears. From somewhere unknown, I get a stupid surge of courage that tells me that today is that day. So, I don't think about the mocking faces or the contemptuous eyes that are going to all fall upon me when I enter the cafeteria.

I strut past my former table with my head held high. I don't give them the benefit of a dramatic stare down. I simply ignore the way their eyes burn into my back, and I pretend not to hear Jessica's snide laughter. She is sitting in my old spot next to Mike. It's all very sickening, but you couldn't tell my feelings about any of it, by the way I held myself together.

Discomfort is not the same thing as anxiety, but being anxious is an extremely uncomfortable feeling. I never thought I'd be the girl who sat by herself at lunch. It's not so easy as me just walking up to a random table and asking to join them. Being with Mike was a good thing for my reputation because it made me superior in a way. Everyone knows the popular people are the most hated people to ever be glorified. Now, without Mike to back me up, everyone can be as mean to me as they've always wanted to.

I take the table near the corner of the room, near the salad bar that is a separate station than the lunch line. Mike and his friends pay me less mind than anyone else does. Eric is the only person that offers a glance in my direction, though there is a troubled expression on his face, and he quickly looks away when I catch him.

The Kirkland table is occupied by all of their members, with the exception of Edward, Alice, and Emmett. I almost think they have decided to skip school today, maybe to prepare for their plans tonight, but they break record time when they enter through the cafe's double doors.

I watch them as they walk carelessly, there's a conversation transpiring between the three. It looks more serious than it is light. Everyone sits up straighter when they brush past their tables. Even Mike does, but along with his initial tensing at Edward's presence, there is also another reaction.

The two of them lock eyes for a few brief seconds, challenging each other to a noticeable psych-out . Blue eyes narrow onto green ones that show no evidence of fear. They both want the other to look away first, but neither of them have plans to budge. Mike's expression tells me that he's pissed off and not because Edward beat his ass last week. He's staring at Edward accusingly, like he knows something that nobody else does.

Edward doesn't waver under his scrutiny. In fact, his lips twitch into the cockiest of smiles before he finally decides to look away.

When they walk past my new table, he is not the person that notices me. It is Alice. She does the simplest thing I've ever seen in my life—the simplest thing that shocks everyone in the entire room. She smiles her friendliness in my direction, and waves like one would do to a friend.

Everyone who just saw the stare down between Edward and Mike sees this too. I feel my nerves tighten. A completely new batch of rumors are going to start because of this. My back is literally being bored into, and feels as if it is baking. I take one chance to turn and see the faces of my classmates.

Only one of them stands out.

Mike Newton.

His eyes are narrowed in a way that I've never seen them before. And now he's looking at me like he knows every, dirty secret that I've ever kept to myself.

I feel entirely exposed, and these people don't even know the half of it.

...

My reputation can't get any more tarnished. I figure this as the rest of my day flits past me. Eric doesn't even acknowledge me when I see him in class, but we both hear the rumors that drift in from the tables around us.

_Bella Swan is fucking Edward Cullen..._

_Bella cheated on Mike with the entire Kirkland Crew..._

_Bella is a phony..._

When Charlie picks me up from school, I am mostly desensitized, though not entirely. It's never easy to pretend as though something doesn't bother you when it does.

"Got a call from your boyfriend's mom today." His voice is back to being gruff. He doesn't look that perturbed though. "She says that some items in her house were missing."

I swallow the lump before it can completely form; my mouth tends to go dry at this point. "Someone broke in?"

"There were no signs of forced entry." Charlie clarifies, unaware that he's talking to one of the people that should be on his suspect list. I feel dizzy and have to lean my head against the cool window to keep it from spinning. "Her alarm company gave us a detailed receipt of the times her security system had been alarmed and deactivated. Around four-thirty, there was a disarming of the system, but she claims that no one should have been home at that time."

"What was taken?"

Charlie only hitches his shoulders; this case doesn't seem to be as big as the ten grand that was stolen out of Aro's safe. "Mostly electronics, game systems, and jewelry."

I doubt that Edward made any mistakes this time. Not after I had warned him of the necklace. He wanted to keep his tracks clean, and he could only do that by being foolproof.

"Any evidence?"

I watch a frown of frustration eat away at Charlie's collected expression. "None left behind. There was a witness though."

Butterflies begin to spark against my ribcage, tickling me in a way that triggers the opposite of laughter. "A witness?"

"A neighbor who'd been walking their dog said that they'd seen a hooded figure prowling the perimeter of the house. They were unable to catch the face but said that it was definitely a young man."

I am relieved that there were no faces seen. I do what I know I have to do. "Felix?"

"That's what we're going with so far." Charlie nods his head, and then he shakes it. There is a confluence of emotions surrounding him. "It's a shame he even got involved with those Kirkland kids. He could have been so much more than a petty criminal."

I don't know why his words rub me the wrong way, but they do. I'm just getting sick and tired of everyone passing judgment so freely. I've been at school all day with people condemning me with the weight of judging eyes that I don't even deserve. I've only been going through this type of treatment for two days. The people in Kirkland have been subjected to it their whole lives. If anyone feels for them, it's me.

"Even after it's proven that they're not to blame you still find a way to blame them?"

He takes his eyes off the road to peer at me. His eyebrows are raised, but his voice stays even. "It's not fully proven."

Even though I know that I'm wrong, the truth of the evidence actually proves his point, I make my claim against his daunting prejudice. "The evidence says otherwise."

"They may not have done this one, but they surely had their share of crime."

It's just like they can't win no matter what they do. Nobody can in Charlie's eyes. This defense mechanism that he has is getting old. He acts as if he is the only person who has never done something bad before. "I don't think it's right to judge people like that."

Charlie disregards me, keeping his eyes trained on the slick roads in front of us. It rained today which makes the atmosphere even more constricting. "You can't trust everybody Bella."

"You can't mistrust everyone either." I try to counter him, letting him know that I do not agree with what he's seeing. This is not just about him passing his judgment about Kirkland either. This is so much deeper than that. "Your trust issues are holding you back Charlie."

I see his jaw tighten a little. "What do you mean by that?"

"I just..." I almost draw back. I'm not trying to be blatantly disrespectful. I've never felt right yelling at Charlie or cutting rude tones at him. I don't want to cross the line, but somehow I think it's too late for that. "You still haven't let another woman into your life."

"It's not worth the hassle Bella."

He thinks that he makes sense, but I think that he's just making up excuses. "I think you'd be a lot happier."

He belittles me as all adults do when they feel like their opinion is always going to be right over a child's. "You're young. You don't understand."

"I do understand. I just think you're afraid."

"I just don't want to waste my time. I have other priorities. Raising you has always been number one on my list. I don't have time to devote to anything else."

"Raising me? Charlie I'm seventeen." I shake my head, wondering if he is even listening to himself. This is probably the pep talk he rehearsed to comfort himself ten years ago. I'm not a child anymore though, so his reasoning is now invalid. "You already raised me. Where's the time for you?"

Charlie begins to shake his head, hands tightening on the steering wheel; I'm pulling apart his mask at the seams. "You think I want to go through another situation like I did with your mother?"

I look down into my hands, and right now, there is a lot of sadness running through me. I'm not just sad for him either. I'm sad that my mother felt like she was pushed to the point where she had to leave everything behind. Only Charlie could have done that to her. He just doesn't want to take the blame for it. "Everyone isn't going to treat you like Renee did."

"Yes Bella, they are. Women are untrustworthy—they're faulty. That's why I've been trying so hard to raise you the right way."

I don't like what he is trying to insinuate.

I've never met a person that could take the weight of their own mistakes proudly on their shoulders. Not even Charlie can admit to what he's done, and he is the strongest person that I've ever met. "Renee isn't untrustworthy. She just didn't know what she wanted."

Charlie's teeth lock together. I see that he's trying not to say something that he will regret later. That makes two of us. "It's normal for you to take her side..."

"I'm not taking her side." I reply, I would never want him to think that. "I just don't think you should brand her so harshly."

"She left us."

He drops the bomb and it detonates all over my feelings.

He's not saying that to spite me, he's saying it to spite Renee's image, but it stings me all the same. "What do you call that?"

I don't know if I'm just trying to make myself feel better or if this is what I honestly believe. "She was just scared."

"Stop making excuses for her Bella." He growls ruggedly, Charlie doesn't raise his voice often.

"I'm not." I say firmly, I've decided that I'm not just trying to pacify myself. This is how I actually feel. The whole blame cannot be put on entirely on Renee. It's cowardly and selfish of him even to try.

Charlie finally loses his cool, and I can see what he has been carrying around with him all of these years. The whole time I thought that he'd been sad, but the look on his face tells me every extent of the truth. He's not sad about Renee. He is pissed off about it. He thinks that she ruined his life, ruined him for any other women, and ruined the chances of the two of us ever being close. "She didn't care about us!"

"You smothered her!" I can't hold back my anger any longer either.

This is pent-up frustration for everything that has been happening all week.

This is channeled humiliation, sadness, desperation, and anger all in one.

This is ferocity.

It must be what Rosalie and Tanya feel like on a daily basis. "All you cared about was your job. That's still all you still care about!"

"I smothered her? You think that's why she left?" His face is nothing but stunned, then craftily it changes into anger, now he is trying to spite me. "Well, if it was my fault why did she take it out on you? Why hasn't she tried to contact you?"

My voice is really quiet now. "She doesn't know how."

"It's because she doesn't want to Bella. You need to get that through your head. Renee was no good, and she still isn't. Ask your grandparents. They called for you yesterday."

My eyes widen into saucers. "What?"

Charlie's speaking matter-of-factly now, his eyes strained on the road with dejection. "Renee's mother called to speak with you after you'd gone to bed."

"What did she say?" I ask him, turning my eyes to look at his face.

"Nothing."

I refuse to let him back out of this at the last minute. He has already gone too far. The damage has already been inflicted. "Then why did you bring it up? What did she say?"

He chuckles scornfully, the brown of his eyes rolling heavenward. "She told me that your mother has a new boyfriend. His name is Phil. He's a baseball player—minor league."

I shake my head because I know that he's holding something back.

I am brewing.

Not to explode, but to internally obliterate.

"What else did she tell you?"

Charlie steadily tries to back out; I see the hesitation at the corners of his twitching mouth; I want to hear what he has to say even if it will destroy me. "It's nothing you need to stress yourself over."

"What did she say Charlie?"

"Phil is stationed in Seattle for a couple of months. Renee has been there with him for a week now."

My lungs literally stop.

There's no more to inhale.

No more to exhale.

There's just this breath and the weight that it carries.

"Your gran was calling to see if Renee had delivered the gift to you that she sent down here with her."

"So, Mom is in Washington?" A light begins to shine inside of me. "She must be planning to come this week."

"Bella, she's not coming." Charlie takes his eyes off the road to look at me sadly. "If she wanted to see you don't you think she would have called? She hasn't seen you in years. Don't you think that's the first thing she would have done once her plane landed?"

His words bite me. I'm immediately offended, immediately furious by his insinuation. How dare he? "You're wrong, she's not like that. You're the one she doesn't love. Not me."

Charlie's brown eyes widen at my words. The acid they released could burn us both. I see him wince the same moment that he gives up on this conversation.

_The rest of the car ride is silent..._

At home, there are slamming doors and temper tantrums. There is no consoling or understanding. Charlie and I are on completely, different sides of the field now.

I cannot believe him.

I cannot believe how cruel he is.

How can he try to turn me against my mother because she left? The only reason she left was because of him in the first place. All he does is judge people, abusing his authority and turning meaningful protection into suffocation. He pushes people away with the tight coils that he tries to wrap around their necks. I know her frustration as if it was my own.

I've felt the urge to break free just like she did. I've felt that urge to find thrill in an otherwise circumscribed environment.

In all the mess that is happening now, getting to see her after all of this time would make it dissipate. The petty stuff that's going on at school would all bid null. Seeing Renee, touching her and knowing that she's not just a figment of my imagination, it would make so much stuff clearer to me.

It doesn't surprise me that Charlie only waited until now to throw that news up in my face. He probably wasn't going to tell me at all, and that makes me so angry. The way he tries to control me, to decide what's best for me, to tell me how I should feel about certain things, is all very maniacal. He just wants that power surge, the feeling of being loved, and he has to control people in order to get it, because everyone he gets close to, runs away.

I feel sorry for him, but he brings it on himself.

I am so pissed off that I can do nothing but force myself into a shallow slumber. My mind is too wired and uptight to produce any positivity into the atmosphere. I fall asleep in my bed with twisted facial expressions and a compelling sense of dark energy.

I had not expected myself to sleep through the rest of the day. While my unconscious mind pushed out all of the troubling things that my consciousness harbored while awake, the daylight backed away into its corner, making room for the night.

I rise up in my bed with a heavy head. The thoughts and feelings prior to my nap are still there, but less profound than before. There is now a more dangerous sensation churning inside of me and it is the same recklessness that drove me to Kirkland that night I fought with Mike.

I retrieve my phone from the book bag I'd tossed onto the floor upon the heated arrival to my room. Around me, the house is silently breathing with anticipation. If Charlie is still here, he is a ghost. There is no evidence that anything but my unconstrained rage inhabits this household right now.

The time on my phone says midnight.

I don't trick myself into believing that this person will be asleep at this time.

The boy that I am calling lives in the darkness.

He revolves around the danger.

He flourishes when the sun is no longer out to shine through his menacing veneer.

"Hello Princess." There is humor in his voice. Corruption is in his background. "To what do I owe this unexpected call?"

"I want to go to Seattle with you on Thursday."

_And then we're adrenaline pumped. Our lives sliding off of the edge of sheltered ruling..._

* * *

**_AUTHOR QUESTIONS:_**

**_1) Bella and Edward are so different, what keeps drawing them together?_**

**_2) Is the fear of pain and getting hurt a valid excuse to not try for something?_**

**_3) Were your parents strict on you growing up?_**


	10. Relief

**THANK YOU FOR THE IMMENSE SUPPORT!**

**SPECIAL THANKS TO _SunflowerFran and Cullen Concession_**

**Please continue to read and enjoy**

* * *

**Chapter 10 : **

**RELIEF**

_"You thought you knew everything_

_two worlds will never mix_

_Well, what happens when they collide?"_

* * *

You must be high off some shit or something." His rejection is immediate in his tone. He thinks I've lost my mind. Admittedly, I am thinking the same thing.

"Edward, I'm being very serious." I try to explain this to him levelly before he totally shuts down any open-mindedness that he might harbor. "I want to go with you."

Edward's on the other end of the phone making sounds of annoyance. "What the fuck do you think this is? A road trip or something?"

I shake my head quickly, failing to realize that he can't see my earnest from wherever he is. "I know that you're going there for business."

"So why do you think that it's okay for you to come?" He asks me this as if the answer should be obvious. He's already told me no in three different ways, and he hasn't even given me the appropriate amount of time to explain myself thoroughly. "You already know too much for your own good."

"I just need to get to Seattle."

"Why don't you ask your dad to take you then?"

I know that once I tell the whole truth he's going to turn into a mule. His stubbornness is going to be hard to get past. Once Edward makes a decision it's almost impossible to change his mind. "I don't think he's okay with me going there."

I imagine him shaking his head profusely, messy tendrils flying over his verdant eyes. The same eyes that would be glowering at me with every type of refusal. I realize how risky this would be for both of us. At this point, it's a price that I am willing to pay.

Edward, on the other hand, wants no part of this. "Hell no—just fucking forget it."

"What? Why?" I don't know why I ask this question. I already know the answer to it. What I'm asking Edward to do for me is beyond crazy.

This is mixing both of our worlds up in a pot and stewing them together irrevocably. After this, there will be no more boundaries between him and me.

"You're trying to make me catch a case." He accuses lightly, though that serious undertone has yet to unlatch itself from his voice. "I'm gonna come back to Kirkland with a warrant out for my arrest. Kidnap, attempted murder..."

"Stop being ridiculous." I cut his sentence short. I don't want to hear the bullshit any more than he does. "What happened to I scratch your back, you scratch my back?"

He is immediately quiet, and I know that I have him exactly where I want him. "That's different."

"How? Because now you're the one in a compromising position?" I wonder how he feels when someone uses his own infamous tactics against him. I don't want him to think he's obligated to help me, but making him feel like he has to do something seems like the only effective solution to getting the results I want. Manipulation is the key. It shouldn't have to be that way though.

"How am I supposed to explain to everyone else, why you're tagging along with me?" He asks irritably, knowing that his end in all of this is going to be a lot more weighty and exhausting than mine. "What in the actual fuck am I supposed to say to Carlisle?"

"I helped you out. Now you're returning the favor." There's no helping the condescension that enters my voice. "That is how things work in Kirkland isn't it?"

"Look Bella, I really don't need you getting in the middle of all this stuff." I know he's trying to find the best excuse he can come up with right now. It's not working because I'm not going to budge. "Why do you even want to go so bad?"

I know that Edward has to be the one person who knows where I'm coming from. He hasn't seen his dad in years. He's a lot like me in that way. Our only difference is that he doesn't want to reunite with his father. He's a lot like Charlie when it comes to holding grudges. He still has to understand how the thought of seeing them exhilarates something deep inside.

"My mom's in Seattle. I'm going to surprise her with a visit. I haven't seen her in person since I was a little girl. You have to understand how much this means to me."

The other end has grown quiet once again, and it's this silence that makes Edward's voice come out softer when he does reply. "Do you think that's the best idea?"

"Don't start on me, Edward." I roll my eyes heavenward. "I already got enough of that shit today from Charlie."

"I'll think about it. I'm not making any guarantees though." He says this as a promise. He doesn't put much effort into making his words feel auspicious when they wrap around me.

"Well, I'm going to get there with or without you." I let him know this. I want him to sense my determination, but I also pitch the sympathy card a little in his direction. Empathy might not be his strongest suit, but loyalty sure is. "I just thought it would be easier with an _ally_."

"Whatever." He dismisses the conversation. That is the end of it. "Like I said, I'll think about it."

...

The next day is Wednesday, and I feel different than I've ever felt before. I don't know where it's coming from. It's this surge of dark energy, intense energy, consuming energy. I feel less than concerned about whatever the fuck is going to happen at school today and more enthused with the thought of getting to see my mother soon.

I must be going through some sort of rebellious streak. Edward's recklessness must have latched onto me the night of that party. Not only am I planning to take a trip to Seattle without Charlie's permission, but the person I'm trying to hitch a ride with, happens to be Edward Cullen. I know that this is not going to sit well with a couple of different people. That includes Charlie and probably Edward's entire crew.

I'm not worried about the trouble that I'm going to be in with Charlie. He actually owes me this chance to reunite with my mother. His wrath is nothing compared to what Edward's going to get. Honestly, at this point I don't care what he has to go through. He's never had any qualms asking me to help, and because of that, I've been put in some very, uncomfortable positions. This is the very least that he could do for me.

The first thing I do in the morning is call him again. I need him to know that this is for real and that I'm not playing around. I'll find a way to get to Seattle. That's the part that's indisputable. I just know that my truck won't make it all the way there, and Charlie would probably chain me to a chair if I asked him to be my chauffeur. It's convenient that Edward just so happens to be going that way. I can't put all of my trust in him, but I know I'll be safer riding with him than anyone else.

"Good morning." I say this sweetly, in the girliest voice I can possibly muster.

Edward chuckles dryly at my attempts, he sounds like he only woke up seconds before answering the phone. I can imagine that he stayed up very late last night. The dark circles that accumulate beneath his eyes from time to time tell me that he barely gets any sleep at all. He's always on the move. The thrill is what replenishes him. It's what he lives off. It's his unholy sustenance.

"It's way too early to be trying to butter me up."

I ignore his attentiveness and cut to the chase. "Did you make up your mind yet?"

He's quick to answer me. "No."

I frown at the certainty in his reply, deciding to shift my tactics just a little. "Can you give me Alice's number?"

He delivers the word even quicker this time. "No."

I can feel my brows furrowing as I try not to lose my cool. "Why not?"

"What do you need it for?" I hope he is aware that I'm not actually obligated to answer to his nosiness.

My voice is the closest to curt without being rude. "I don't know. Maybe I want to talk to her."

"What do you need to talk to her about?" I hate how he asks me so many questions. He's almost demanding with his expectancy when he's never anything but evasive with me.

"None of your business."

"Then I'm not giving it to you." He says this sternly, then there's a laugh inside of his voice. "The number, I mean."

My eyes widen just a little, but I catch myself before he can succeed in fluttering my nerves. "I'll ask her for it myself."

"Sure, walk right on up to our table at lunch." He catches me on my bluff before I realize how unrealistic it had actually been. "See how well that fares for you. Haven't you heard the rumors already?"

Of course, he's talking about the rumors that include him and me. He seems to be amused by them, where I find them widely exaggerated. "They couldn't be any more untrue."

There's no surprise in his tone, however, the direction his words lead towards is a challenging one. "You really think so?"

My cheeks grow hot and I know I'm going to have to end this call soon because I'm losing control of the conversation. "Just tell her to meet me in the library then."

"I like this new assertion in you." His compliment is loaded. "It suits you well, Princess."

I'm surprised that he noticed the slight adjustment that's been made to my attitude. I never knew that it was noticeable to anyone other than me, but I think I feel stronger mentally and physically. Being under Mike's veil and Charlie's constant instruction had dimmed my personality over the years. Now that I'm breaking away from it, I imagine myself flourishing in ways I never have.

Either my psyche is rebuilding itself to suit the needs of a more confident, independent person, or I am fooling myself with a false bravado like so many other people that I know. "We'll see how long it holds up."

"As long as you want it to." He says reassuringly, and this is the first thing he's said that hasn't pinched a nerve inside of me.

"Look, I have to start getting ready for school. I need to get in the shower." I'm going to finish this conversation later, make no doubt about that.

"Go ahead. I'll try not to enjoy that mental image of you too much."

I'm starting to think that these aren't just quips he's spraying from the top of his head. Edward is deliberate in everything that he does. That includes the subliminal messages he likes to encode between his words. He does it for the shock factor. He thinks it's funny. He likes the way I react so timidly every time. I decide that next time I'm going to play the game along with him.

"Goodbye Edward."

Thirty minutes later I am dressed and on my way to school.

There is a fluidity of determination moving through me. I can't remember ever feeling so passionate about something. I want to see my mother up close and personal. Not just for the satisfaction of the initial reunification, but also to prove that Charlie is wrong.

He deserves to see that he is not always right about everything. Renee is not a bad person for wanting a different life. When I meet up with her and talk about the reasons she left, Charlie will realize that sometimes his actions are at fault. I hope that he will stop regarding Renee as if she is some sort of evil harlot. Maybe once he lets all of that animosity go he'll be able to accept that things didn't quite work out between them, but that it doesn't mean he won't get a chance for things to work with another woman.

Charlie deserves to be happy, even if he's the one who's too afraid to make it happen for him.

I'm not being any more ostracized than I am scrutinized when I walk into the building. I'm taking Edward's advice and trying not to let those lingering eyes get to me. I have better things to focus my attention on today, other than this new kind of look that people are giving me.

Their expressions are cautious for my sake. I start to wonder why they're all so wide-eyed and then I see Mike waiting for me against my locker. His presence makes the entire hallway feel compacted. I almost stop in my tracks and turn the other way, but his blue eyes lock onto mine before I can cower in a sufficient corner. Something tells me that I cannot turn back now. He's already seen me. It's not as if I can avoid him forever in this four-walled school. We were bound to run into each other sooner or later.

The fact that he actually came to my locker is not as startling as him showing up at my house. I am grateful for this fact as I approach him.

"I see that the rumors are true." There's absolutely nothing cordial between us. He establishes this the second he opens his mouth. "You're mingling with Kirkland now."

He isn't asking me, he's telling me, and leaving me no room for a rebuttal. My confidence has hit an all-time low being in such close proximity to one of the people who have drained it for so long.

" I guess that's why you saved their asses that day." The way his eyes bore onto mine is vaporizing. The gazes from the prying eyes around my locker are feeble compared to his. I can barely feel anyone else staring at me. The ice inside of Mike's irises has caught on fire. "I should have known. You really had me fooled Bella."

It's astonishing how he appears to feel so betrayed. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't try to play dumb with me. You can like Cullen all you want." He almost gets riled up, but he manages to keep his cool in front of our audience. He's talking lowly so that only I can hear what he's saying. The crowd is still trying to lean nearer to us to grasp something they can spread around the school. "I don't care. That isn't what I came to talk to you for anyway."

"Then why'd you come?"

"I want you to relay a message back to Cullen." There's a threatening tone in his words that weave embittered strands of thread throughout them. My eyes widen when I look up at him. "I know he broke into my house. He's the only bastard with enough nerve to do it."

I don't deny this or confirm this. I only have one question for him. "Why can't you tell him yourself?"

"I think he'll appreciate hearing it more from you." I can't overlook his accusation, and it's easy to understand what he's trying to insinuate. Still, I think he's sort of learned his lesson from approaching Edward so carelessly last time. That brutal defeat clearly did nothing to dispel his desires of getting Edward back. "Just let him know that he's got it coming to him."

Edward's unruly strategy for revenge has given Mike the greatest excuse to retaliate. I don't know what Mike is planning to gain from this. He can't possibly hope to beat Edward in a fight. I have to wonder what exactly he has in store for Edward.

I'm not given the chance to ask him this before the first bell rings. Mike stalks off without another word, leaving me at my zenith of anxiety. I'm walking to class, passing faceless onlookers, and trying adamantly to retrieve my confidence from wherever it had slithered away.

The school days are always the same. The rumors may be different, and teachers may have new lessons, but everything else remains unchanged. The excitement most teenagers felt when taking their first step inside of high school tends to wear off during the middle of freshmen year, and toward the end of their sophomore year, it's completely gone. School becomes tiresome and monotonous during junior and senior year.

Al the dances you can attend have already been attended, all the relationships destined to fail have already failed, all the fights you can witness have already been fought, and all of the rumors that can be spread have already been spread.

Sure, all of these things can take new forms—they can manifest themselves again in different ways, but it's all the same. We're still sitting in the same rickety chairs, at the same times, on the same days, and sometimes it all seems to become incredibly pointless.

There is no excitement left. There's a brief spark that comes from learning who hooked up with who at a party, or who has the new, red bottoms from the spring collection. But that's not the kind of elation that takes a shovel and buries itself beneath your bone marrow.

That's not the kind of vigor that swarms me when I'm dealing with Edward. The more I realize there's nothing for me in Forks is the more I find myself drawn towards that bad boy from across the tracks. Being attracted to Edward is probably the stupidest thing I've ever allowed myself to do because I know that I can't reverse it even if I tried.

There is no going back now.

Lunch is like a spider. It crawls upon me unexpectedly, pulling me out of my jaded reveries with its anticipated legs. There is a ticklish feeling in the pit of my stomach as I make my way towards the library. I'm glad to see that Edward isn't trying to test my bravery today. Alice is already seated in the back of the library when I make my way through the double doors.

She looks prim and posh. Her hair is pulled back into a sleek bun, and there is a stretchy, bow headband tied around her head. It's the same purple color as the shimmering gloss on her lips. I usually don't like any colors besides red or pink on people's lips, but Alice is one of those few people who can pull off the daring colors and not look like a clown. She smiles up from her fashion magazine when I sit across from her. She looks as though she should be on the cover of one of those things.

"Hey Bella." "Edward told me you wanted to talk."

"Did he tell you what it was about?"

She shakes her head, and she seems interested enough to know why I went through Edward to get to her. "No, he seemed perturbed though."

"I asked him to take me to Seattle with him. My mom is there, and I really want to see her. I was hoping you could convince him to let me tag along."

"It's impossible to convince Edward of something he doesn't want to do." Alice states wryly, that's nothing I hadn't already known. She directs her gaze upon mine with sheer curiosity. "You know he's going there to take care of some business right?"

"I have no intention to interfere with that." That's the part I wanted Edward to understand. I'm not trying to tag along with him while he basks in misconduct. I just need a ride there, that's all. "In fact, he can just drop me off at my mom's hotel and be done with it."

"Did you tell your mom you were coming?" She raises her eyebrows in a perfect arch.

"It's a surprise." I say quietly, unable to tell the complete truth. I actually don't know my mother's number and I don't know how to get in contact with her. I'm going to have to ask my grandmother for the details of where she is staying in Seattle.

"Well, that's nice." Alice catches my diminished enthusiasm easily_. _Her smile is enough to lift me back up. "I'm sure she'll be thrilled to see you."

"I hope so. This really means a lot to me Alice. I'm just trying to make Edward see that. I know Tanya might be mad but..."

Alice clarifies, before I even finish. "Tanya doesn't even know he's going."

"Huh?" I can't help but question this. I don't know how Tanya could not know. She keeps tabs open on Edward at all times.

"Well, Carlisle thinks there are inside forces manipulating our money flow."

Alice is less reserved than she once was. She doesn't code and sheath all of her words anymore. But that doesn't mean she is outright, word-vomiting their business, either.

We're not the best of friends, but we're on a more comfortable level with each other now. "He made sure only certain people knew about Edward's mission in Seattle. Tanya wasn't one of those people."

I am astonished by this. It makes me think back to the conversation that had transpired during lunch the day after that party.

Carlisle isn't the only person who has qualms about Tanya's honesty. "He thinks she's a double crosser?"

"Carlisle thinks everyone is double crossing him." Alice says this with a slight smile. She finds his paranoia endearing. I guess she has to find something about him appealing. He is her father, but they hardly seem to know each other on an emotional level. "But he especially doesn't trust Tanya for some reason. So you don't have to worry about her throwing a fit."

"Do you think Edward will help me out?"

"For you, I think he will." Her purple lips quirk in the same way as Edward's, crookedly … right at the corner of her mouth. This is another trait they have in common, that, and the fact there is always a hidden meaning in their words, that only they find amusing. "I'll still put in a good word for you. Sometimes he tends to listen to me.

"Can you tell him to drop by Jacob's house after school?"

She nods her head. "Is that where you're going to be?"

"Yeah." I mumble slowly, looking more closely at the resemblance that she shares with Edward. In another life, the two of them could have been brother and sister.

"Okay, I'll let him know." She looks like she has something else that she wants to say. She is almost hesitant when her eyes flit away from mine bashfully. "And Bella?"

"What?" I am curious about what could have possibly pulled this reaction out of her.

She looks up under her lashes, chewing her lip a little, but quickly releasing after she remembers the lipstick. "Can I tell you something personal?"

I blink at her a couple times, but I don't know what to say. I'm good at keeping secrets, but I don't like to be bogged down with too many of them. "Are you sure I'm the person you want to confide in?"

"I'm absolutely sure." She smiles in my direction. "It's about Edward."

I give her the go-ahead. "Okay."

"I just want to say that Edward is terribly hard to understand. I don't even have him all figured out yet, and I know him better than most people. He's not exceptionally fond of opening up to people."

I look at her wryly; she's right on the spot with this description. "I noticed."

"Yeah, it's just that Edward's not as strong as he looks on the outside. He's scared and sad on the inside. He pushes away, he's stubborn, he's an asshole, but that's only because he's protecting himself."

I stay quiet as I listen to her speak. What she is telling me are the type of things that intrigue me about Edward. Alice is the second person who has given me a talk like this, with Jacob being the first.

"No one has ever broken past that barrier he puts up between himself and the world. No one challenges him. They just put up with him even when he's wrong. He's gotten so used to getting what he wants that he's sometimes disrespectful to the people who don't agree with him."

I find myself nodding my head in agreement every time Alice mentions something that I've already observed about Edward. "I noticed that too."

"It's as if he needs someone that'll ground him, that'll pull him back down to earth when he lets himself float too far away. He needs someone to be around who's not going to stand for his bullshit, someone that'll call him out for that shit. Too many people are afraid or intimidated to call him on anything."

"What about Tanya?" Alice only shakes her head, as if not to mention Tanya's name. There's confusion starting to awaken from within me. "Well, why are you telling me all of this?"

"It's just that I've never seen Edward tolerate someone as long as he's tolerated you. There's something about you that he finds intriguing, or redeemable, or sexy. I don't know."

She looks at my perplexed expression with ease, but I don't like the confidence that she appears to have in what she's saying. What she's talking about is unheard of. Edward liking me when he has Tanya is absurd, Edward liking me when we are circumstantially two worlds apart is absurd, and Edward liking me when his focus is on his troubling lifestyle is absurd.

"All I know is that he needs someone like you around. His moods have been lighter lately. He's not necessarily happier, but there's something that's changed for sure."

"Alice, your cousin and I disagree on almost everything." I hate to burst her bubble, but I think that she's in over her head about this one. "I think you're mistaking our compatibility."

"No, that's exactly what he needs. Keep challenging him and don't let him win. You have to keep him on his toes. That's the only way he'll respect you. I have a feeling that despite your differences, you two could become really good friends."

My eyebrows knit together in skepticism as I regard her. "You have a feeling, huh?"

"That's right." Her fingers wring together atop the wooden table and she smiles. "And I'm not usually wrong about these things."

...

A few hours have passed, and I am still struggling to push Alice and her perplexing assumptions away from the front of my mind. Jacob and I are inside of the garage again, and he's putting the finishing touches on my car. We're listening to the _In_die music that's streaming out of the portable radio we've plugged into the wall. Our conversations are always easy, he's the kind of person that never runs out of things to say, but even with Jake, the inevitable happens.

Kirkland or Edward Cullen gets brought up.

"I heard the Robert's household was sucked dry." Jacob comments casually, referring to the house that Edward and his boy's raided last night. "They cleared everything out of that damn house."

It's such short notice. I had no idea that the word was already getting around. "When did you hear about it?"

"My dad was talking to Charlie on the phone this morning. I heard them mention Felix's name more than once."

Sometimes I forget how close Billy and Charlie are. I nod my head while I ponder it all. "I guess their plans are working out then."

"They must be further in the hole than they're letting on. They probably owe tens of thousands."

I think I have the vague idea of possible consequences that they can be dealt, I've read enough books and seen enough movies to know, but I don't know how credible my knowledge actually is. "What happens to them if they don't get the money?"

"You don't know how the world of drug dealing works?" Jacob puts a hypothetical gun to his head and pulls the trigger.

This makes my blood run cold. "They'll really get killed?"

"Whoever Carlisle is buying from buys from someone else, and that person buys from someone, and so on, and so on."

I'm trying to keep up with where he's heading with this explanation. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"So if Carlisle is not paying back the money he owes, that means the person who's in front of him is missing money, too. One disruption in the flow can fuck up the entire chain of business. That pisses people off."

"Enough to retaliate with murder?" Jacob only nods his head to my questioning.

"Eventually, they're going to try to get tired of their money being screwed around. There is no sympathy in that kind of business. To get back at Carlisle, they'll start taking away the things that are valuable to him. That usually starts with his workers or family members."

"How do you know so much about this?"

Jacob is not a part of the drug dealing itself. He might buy the drugs, but that is as far as he goes with it. He's never had to live a life like Edward's. I think he is relieved that he and Edward are not living in the same reality, but he's been pulled into Edward's schemes enough to know that the Kirkland lifestyle is not a joke. He'd much rather just be on the sidelines and dip his feet into the pool because he feels like it, not because he has to.

"Because I watched the American Gangster on Pay Per View a few years ago."

"Oh, shut up Jake." I throw a towel at his head.

"Speaking of trouble..." Jacob dodges my attack and beams at me. "I think I just heard a car pull into the driveway."

I can hear the sound of wheels rolling up the graveled driveway, as well. There is loud music playing that I know Billy surely isn't listening to. "That must be Edward. I told him to meet me here."

"Is that right?" Jacob waggles his eyebrows suggestively, and there are so many evocative things floating around in his smile as Edward shuffles into the garage.

"What's good, bro?" His presence is domineering, not because he's trying to bring the attention onto himself. It's just something about him that sucks you in. It might be the way his black, skinny jeans hang off his waist, or the way his bronzed hair spills over his face, or the way his green eyes pop against any background they're set against. "I see you're working on Bella's piece of shit truck again."

His quips are his informal way of greeting me. Apparently, saying hello is not his preferred style. "Your positivity just brightens the room Edward."

"Shouldn't you be riding in a carriage or something?" His head cocks in my direction. His features are all relaxed and mellow; drooped eyelids, dilated pupils, and quirked smiles. "I think that's more fitting for someone of your stature."

"You've been smoking I see." Jacob comments jokingly, at his sluggish voice and reddened eyes.

"I've been dabbling in a little of this and a little of that." Edward laughs softly, like music. His eyes drift upon Jacob's smirking form. "Nothing serious, it's strictly recreational."

"Dude, do you have some dank on you?"

"You know I always do." Edward replies, of course he does. He's the most notorious drug dealer around here. "What do you want?"

"Two dime bags for the dub."

I'm not good with slang talk. I know that dub means twenty dollars and that the dime bags are the small bundles that Mike used to buy most of the time.

"What the fuck? You get one dime bag for fifteen." Edward looks at Jacob as if he's gone insane. I don't really know that much about marijuana or the price it sells at, but I've heard that the Kirkland boys are pretty steep with their price ranges. "How do you expect to pay twenty dollars for two grams of weed?"

Jacob crosses his arms over his chest. "That's how much they charge here in La Push."

"Yeah, and La Push grows their weed in their fucking backyards." Edward retorts, offering Jacob some slow reassurance through his smile. "This is superb quality Jake. You're my boy; you know I wouldn't rip you off."

"Fine, give me the dime bag then." He gives in because I guess there's no other person that he'd rather buy drugs from. Money isn't as easily replenished with Jake as it is with Mike. He actually has to work to make his money. Being so skilled with cars pays off because Jacob is never broke.

"If you two are done with your illegal activities..."

"I forgot you were here, Princess." Edward tosses his taunts in my direction, while offhandedly exchanging merchandise with Jake. "I hope you covered your innocent ears."

I roll my eyes. "Nothing you say surprises me anymore."

Edward chuckles darkly as his eyes regard me with something heavy. Every part of my body combusts with energy under his careful inspection. "I think I have a few things left that'll widen your eyes."

I almost redden at his words, but I remember the oath that I'd made to myself. I'm going to play the game with him for now. "Really? Come whisper them to me."

His eyes are actually the ones that widen. I see his lip twitch with something I can't quite decipher. "That was a nice one. You almost had me for a minute."

"You know what you came here for." I'm a little proud of myself for puzzling him. He didn't expect me to have a comeback.

Edward waves me off. "To hear your ridiculous pleas for a ride?"

"To hear me say it nicely one more time." I tilt my head to the side and peer at him wryly. "I don't think you're gonna like me when I'm demanding."

Jake steps between our conversation, confused, since he doesn't know what we're conversing about. "What are you two talking about?"

"Bella's trying to hitch a ride with me to Seattle tomorrow."

"Well, that's not incredibly stupid at all." He says this with so much sarcasm that his words are smothered with it. His brown eyes keep flickering between Edward and I. "Did you tell Charlie about this?

Both of us end up answering Jake's question at the same time. We have two decidedly different answers. Edward's trying to make this sound like a hideous plan, while I'm trying to show them that it's not as big of a deal as they think it is.

"He doesn't _need_ to know."

"She doesn't _want_ him to know."

Jacob is already shaking his head in disapproval. "You're going to be in deep shit if you go through with that."

"And I'm going to be buried so far beneath that shit..." Edward's eyes move away from Jake's to give me a pointed look. "You'll never see me again."

Jacob starts to laugh at what appears to be Edward's expense. "I see twenty to life in your future."

Edward flips him the bird. "Fuck you."

"Stop being so dramatic." I stop the two of them before they can continue their ridiculous conversation. Edward is not going to be arrested for driving me to Seattle. Even if we did get caught, he certainly isn't going to be sentenced to jail. "Charlie will never find out that Edward was my ride."

Jake looks at me with strange eyes, and I think he believes that I've lost my mind, too. "What are you going there for anyway?"

"My mom's in town." I reply truthfully, unable to help the small smile that crosses my face.

"Wow, all the way from Florida?" Jake probably doesn't even remember how my mom looks. She used to bake us cookies for dessert whenever Billy needed her for a babysitter. Those nostalgic memories make my heart flutter. "How long has it been since you've seen her?"

"Too long." I sigh out, trying not to direct my gaze at anyone's eyes. I don't want to see sympathy or sentiment. I want to see acquiescence.

"I guess that's a good enough reason." Jake shrugs his shoulders, but there is still apprehension around his dark eyes. "Just don't do anything stupid to get caught."

"I didn't even say yes yet." He turns slightly in Jacob's direction, frowning because Jake is already as much on board with this idea as I am. "What makes you think I want to drive around with you for three hours?"

"If that's the problem then I'll drive." I flash him a cheeky grin that makes him scoff. "Problem solved."

"You're real funny Bella." Edward rolls his tinged eyes, and there's a gruffness to his tone that wasn't there before. His defenses are now down. This is his way of waving the white flag in surrender. "Don't expect me to be bailing you out of trouble, babying you, or kissing your ass."

"I won't." I've gotten his yes, and that's all that matters at this point. "This will be great."

"Now I've definitely seen it all. A road trip with the daughter of Fork's finest and Kirkland's favorite delinquent." Jacob looks between the two of us with a cautious humor. Before he returns his attention to my car, the briefest of smiles cover his mouth. "I wonder what will come of this."

_And then we're all twitching carcasses. Our lives leaving frigid bodies and joining in the air..._

* * *

**AUTHOR QUESTIONS**

**1) Were you popular in high school?**

**2) Was there a group of outcasts that everyone stayed away from?**

**3) How can a person be nice _and_ mean? Or good _and_ bad? Or dishonest _and_ truthful? Isn't there only room for them to be one or the other?**


	11. Naivety

**THANK YOU FOR THE IMMENSE SUPPORT!**

**SPECIAL THANKS TO _SunflowerFran and Cullen Concession_**

**Please continue to read and enjoy**

* * *

**Chapter 11 :**

**NAIVETY**

**PART 1**

_"Everyone is different. Yet the same."_

* * *

I am in a fucking daze...

Time has become indistinguishable to me, and nothing really matters anymore at this point. My house has succumbed to the tension that fills up its vacant corridors. An unstoppable silence has commenced between Charlie and I. There is more than just that initial dispute sitting between us. This silence comes from years of inconsistencies, as well as, inabilities to build a proper relationship. It's a welcoming silence, which drinks me in, and reminds me of the plans I've made for myself.

After I got home from Jacob's house, I spent half the night sitting up with the jitters, basking in my thoughts as if time was standing still for me. Then, as if a progressive of twelve hours had flitted past me unknowingly, I was seated inside of my first hour class.

_There's going to be another fight between Newton and Cullen..._

_Bella Swan has switched sides. She's with Kirkland now..._

I've been hearing the same type of rumors since Alice waved at me in the cafeteria the other day. Mike standing at my locker yesterday only made the stories regenerate. I'm not paying attention to any of this stuff as I am moving through the motions of my day. My mind is consumed with thoughts of my mother. I'm almost vibrating with anxiety. Now that I know Edward is on board with the plan nothing can quite kill my spirits. The petty gossiping and the peculiar stares are rolling right off of me.

The plan is for Edward to meet back up with me after school. Yesterday he told me that he was going running a few errands before we were due to set off on our way. I am instructed to be ready by five on the dot. That means bags packed, mentality in check, and an alibi in the front of my mind.

I am glad that I drove myself to school this morning. That means Charlie doesn't have to take a break from work to come pick me up. This will make my getaway run more smoothly because he won't be there to witness me climbing into an unfamiliar car. I write him a note that says I'm going to be gone for a couple of days. I don't tell him where I am going or who I am going with. I tell him not to worry, but I don't suspect that my comforting letter is going to ease his nerves when he reads it.

I bet I will have received more than a hundred calls from him by the time this trip is over.

I have a bag full of toiletries ready, my outfits carefully picked and planned, I have some snacks in case I get hungry on the way, my Ipod because I know I'm going to want to drown Edward out at some point, and my favorite novel from my personal bookshelf because I plan to give it to my mother. I'm ready when Edward texts me and tells me that he's around the corner.

He made a point to tell me that he wasn't going to pull up in front of my house during the daytime. We are going on this trip with a low profile. That's the whole point. Otherwise, I would just broadcast the news to the world. I bet that would make the perfect scandal for this town.

He isn't actually parked around the corner. He's parked right at the corner where the stop sign meets the sidewalk. I am surprised when I see that he is not the only person occupying the car. In the back seat, Edward's younger brother is staring at my neighborhood with wide eyes. I don't think Masen has ever been this far into Forks before. Our towering houses and botanical, front yards have to be a stark contrast to what he sees every day in Kirkland.

Edward offers me the passenger's seat. He unlocks the doors upon my approach, flashing me a look of recognition when I slide into the car. We take off down the road that takes us directly toward the highway after my door is shut, and my seat belt fastened. I understand how real this is. I'm finally not afraid to be spontaneous. The thrill I used to shy away from is now my startling new friend.

There's no denying that after this is over, I will never be the same again.

I turn around to look at Masen. He seems unperturbed about the fact that I'm here. He hardly acknowledges me until he realizes that I am staring at him.

I am still bewildered by how much he looks like Edward. Of course, there are very minute differences between the two of them, like the way that Masen's bronzed hair is a mop of curls while Edward's stick up in crazy places around his head. Edward's freckles collect and scatter around his nose while Masen's trail along his cheeks. They share the same milky complexion, the same crooked smile, and the same intuition in their eyes though.

Masen appraises me with the type of curiosity that could only belong to a kid. "Edward, who is this?"

"That's the princess I was telling you about." Edward glances at me when he says this. His devious smirk has me wondering what he's possibly told Masen behind my back. I can only imagine the absurd things that must have come from his mouth. "Her name is Bella Swan, remember?"

"Is she your girlfriend?" I want to immediately deny this. I don't need Masen getting confused and possibly saying something inaccurate later on that might get me placed at the top of Tanya's death list.

I don't know what Edward and I are to be honest. It's hard to say we're friends since we're always challenging each other, but we're definitely past the stage of being distant acquaintances. Right now, we're in between.

Edward ponders this for a second. To my horror, he nods his head. "Yeah."

"I thought Tanya was your girlfriend though?" Masen tilts his head to the side, smiling brightly. His liveliness is infectious. He makes the atmosphere in the car vibrate with easiness. "You have two girls, like me?"

"I'm not his girlfriend, Masen." I state curtly, sending Edward a reprimanding look that he easily ignores. "Edward means that I am his friend, who's also a girl."

Masen's brows scrunch. "What's the difference?"

"One of them you do stuff for because you have to." Edward clarifies wryly, flashing his brother a droll look through the rear view mirror. "And the other you do stuff for because you want to."

Masen soaks in everything Edward says like a sponge. I shake my head playfully. That boy is going to be dangerous if he keeps shadowing his brother. "So, which is which?"

Edward smirks to himself but keeps his eyes straight ahead. "I'll let you figure that one out for yourself."

The car goes silent for a couple of minutes until I think of something to say. I like to see these two interacting with each other. It's endearing to see how closely bonded they are. Despite the age difference, they seem to be each other's best friend. "Are you coming to Seattle with us Masen?"

"No, Edward has to take me out to eat since he missed my baseball game on Thursday." I remember Edward promising to do his best to make it. It's not surprising that his best wasn't good enough. He's always busy and never has time for himself. Masen doesn't seem to mind though. I think the most important thing to him is just spending quality time with his brother. He doesn't care how or when. "Then he's dropping me off at my friend's house."

I reminiscence back to when I was ten years old. I didn't get to go to slumber parties or anything like that. It must be nice for Masen to be able to get away from the chaos of his house. "You're having a sleepover? That's cute."

Masen rolls his eyes in my direction. "Men are not cute Bella."

This has me laughing before I even realize what's funny about it. He reminds me so much of Edward in this moment. "You're only ten Masen. You have a long way to go until you're a man."

"I already had my first kiss though." Masen says, clearly confused. "Edward told me that makes me a man."

"I bet Edward tells you a lot of things that you should ignore."

Edward laughs under his breath, shaking his messy head with arrogance and humor. "Actually, I only give him very, sound advice. I have Masen on the road to becoming a truly, promising man."

"A heartbreaker." I remark knowingly.

"A charmer." He counters.

Masen looks between the two of us with wide eyes. "What's the difference?"

"One of them draws girls in with charisma and a magnetic personality." Edward explains, as if the idea is more complex than it actually is.

I look back at Masen and jab my thumb in Edward's direction, smiling as I lower my voice into a halfhearted whisper. "And the other draws girls in with messy hair and crooked smiles."

The car ride is mellow. There isn't much ice to be broken. The tension is almost nonexistent. There is still that calm ocean of uneasiness that passes between Edward and me, however. We know the basic characteristics of each other, but that doesn't mean we're all the way sure of each other. There is still a barrier in the way of us connecting on a more serious level, and I think that barrier is there for a reason. It's because neither one of us seem ready to let it down just yet.

Masen's favorite restaurant is some pizza buffet that's located downtown. It has an arcade, bumper cars and go cart racing. It's like a big amusement park on the inside. It's every child's biggest dream, and apparently Edward likes making his brother's dreams come true.

"Are you sure you don't want me to pay you back?" I ask again. When we arrived, Edward had paid all three of our ways before I'd even had the chance to pull out my wallet.

"It's fine. It was only fifteen dollars." Edward's shaking his head as we move through the different food stations with our plates. The variety is limited since this is solely a pizza place, but my two accomplices don't seem to have any problem with that. Masen has already run off somewhere with his own plate. "Have you ever been here before?"

I only used to go to the fun places around Forks when my mother still lived with us. She liked to have fun and bring us together as a family. After she left, Charlie was so tied up with his career in order to distract himself, and we never really ventured further than the diner.

I probably would've loved a place like this when I was younger. "No, but it seems like you two have though."

"My parents used to bring me here when they were still together." Edward slides two pepperoni slices onto his plate, and there is something in his voice that makes me watch him more closely. "I had the best birthday party here when I was five."

"You remember your birthday from twelve years ago?"

Edward turns to glance at me briefly, his green eyes are on fire. "I don't exactly remember the birthday, but I remember my mother's smile when I opened up my presents. She was even happier than I was. I could feel her heart beating through her laughter."

"What did they get you?" I ask curiously, trying to steer his thoughts in a less forlorn direction.

A small smile hints at his mouth. "My very first skateboard that was signed by Tony Hawk. I hated him, but I didn't let my parents know.

"Is that all you got?"

"They bought me lots of things. The skateboard and the sketchbook were my favorite gifts."

I look down at my over-flowing plate. I hadn't even realized that my absentmindedness had caused me to unconsciously fill my plate as I talked to Edward. Listening to him had captivated my attention entirely. I know I won't be able to finish all of this.

"I didn't know you liked to draw."

"I don't." He replies loftily as we approach the table that Masen has claimed as his own. "Not anymore."

"It took you guys long enough." Masen says, looking up at us, his mouth full of food. "I'm almost through with my first round of food."

He isn't lying either. There are pizza crusts scattered around the three plates he has sitting in front of him. I only saw him rounding the food stations one time. How he managed to get all of that back to the table without help, is beyond me.

Edward quirks his eyebrows, snorting, as he takes the empty seat beside his brother. "Damn Masen, how much pizza did you already had?"

"Three slices." Masen smiles through the cheese and sausage. I grimace at the careless display. They are such boys. "I'm working on the pasta now."

"You're going to be too full to play the games."

"I'm never too full." He blinks and stares up at me like I'm crazy. "Are you going to play with me Bella?"

I accept his offer without hesitation. His lilting laughter is quite compelling. It's a breath of fresh air that I definitely need right now. "I'd love to."

"Really?" A wondrous expression attaches itself onto Masen's boyish features. "None of Edward's girlfriends are ever this cool."

"Girlfriends?" I inquire, sending Edward a look, ignoring the fact that Masen has inaccurately labeled me again.

Masen nods his head, brushing off the way Edward nudges him in the shoulder. This is what I love about brothers. They love to embarrass each other for fun. "Before Tanya, he used to have a different girl at the house every day."

I clap for Edward, congratulating him with all of the sarcasm I can conjure. "Wow, what a spectacular role model."

"Anyway, I like you better than Tanya." Masen charms me with his crooked smile. I think he knows just how much damage his striking features can do. "She always smells like dank."

"Is that right?" I raise my eyebrows in Edward's direction, unable to mask my shock. I shouldn't be surprised that Masen knows what marijuana is. The way that he addresses it so casually and familiarly is what has my eyes widening.

Masen misses the disapproving look I flash at Edward, continuing through his food, as well as, the conversation. "Why didn't she come, Edward?"

"Because I was supposed to be riding solo," Edward says drolly, making it known, that he hadn't planned on me tagging along with him.

Masen switches his attention onto me again. "Why are you going with him then?"

I think of the best way I can explain this to his youthful mind. "I'm going to find my mom in Seattle."

He perks up with interest, nodding his head as if he understands my dilemma. "Oh, so your mom is lost, too?"

"What do you mean?" I look at him more closely, witnessing the momentary sadness traveling across him before it passes.

Both Edward and I are watching Masen now. It's hard not to pay attention to the way Edward's carefree demeanor crashes and burns at the mention of his mother. He's looking disturbed now, with squinted eyes, and pursed lips.

"One time I asked Alice where my mom was. Guess what she told me?"

I offer him a reassuring smile. I want to pick his face up and rearrange his mouth back into a smile. This is a sensitive subject for him, and he doesn't even fully understand it yet. "What did she tell you?"

"My mom got lost on her way to buy me the biggest cookie cake in the world." He actually believes this. He's nodding his head adamantly and smiling at something that he finds secretly amusing. "She's still wandering around looking for me. That was a long time ago. I don't think she remembers what I look like."

"Masen..." Edward starts slowly, rubbing a hand over his face uncomfortably.

"Are you ready to get some dessert?" Something in Edward's voice makes me stop him. I can't let him crush Masen right in front of me. I know he doesn't want Masen to be floating on false-hopes, but that hope is the only thing Masen has to keep himself from turning bitter like Edward. I would hate to see someone so optimistic lose their light. "I'm sure they have cookie cake up there. It's my favorite, too."

The next few hours or so are spent in the arcade room. I want to stay in the background, and watch Edward and Masen do their thing, but Masen pulls me into every activity they decide to partake in. I find myself playing skeeball, air hockey, glow golf, and laser tag. The boys find it hilarious that I'm no good at any of the games. The real competition is between the two of them, and I have literally never seen two people try to one up each other so much. This is what I call sibling rivalry at its very best.

They never stop going against each other. When one of them loses they demand a rematch almost immediately, then they'll keep playing until they are finally able win, and the cycle will start itself over from the other brother's end. They probably went through every game in the building, and that's not including the four rounds of go-kart racing they challenged each other to.

I am sidelined most of the time, but I don't complain. I like seeing them like this because I don't think they get to spend a lot of time together in general. I have never seen Edward's smile so bright, and there's a playful side of him that only comes out when Masen is around. Despite what was said earlier about his mom, Edward is relaxed throughout the entire time we are in the pizza place.

The ride to Masen's friend's house is charged with his youthful ambitions. He is what keeps the atmosphere jubilant because I can immediately feel the difference when there's just me and Edward in the car. Once Masen is gone, Edward is back to being terse. I think the comment about his mother bothered him a whole lot more than he actually let on.

Now that we're alone, the innocence of the car ride has lifted its veil. The thrill of pursuing danger is back, and it takes a front row seat in the pit of my stomach. I took this trip with him for the opportunity to see my mother, but that doesn't mean the thought of being alone with him hadn't slipped my mind. I don't get to talk to him in person on a regular basis. The inconsistencies of our differing lifestyles prevent that.

The fact that I have at least three hours to converse with him is almost mind-boggling. There's been so much that I need to discuss with him, questions that I need to ask him, and boundaries that need to be made clear.

I reach for the volume dial on his radio without permission from him. He looks over at me with tight lips that are ready to spew their disapproval.

I decide to beat him to the point by starting the conversation. I say what has been on my mind all day. "There's been a lot of talk about Tanya lately."

"That isn't surprising." He isn't nearly as interested as I thought he'd be. His voice barely has any spark inside of it. "Forks is always talking shit."

I turn to look at him fully—his expression is quite dull. "Don't you want to know what they're saying?"

"Not really." He replies, lifting his shoulders. "But I'm sure you're going to tell me though."

I shake my head at that. I'm not the one to be purposely annoying. I'm not going to bother him if he doesn't want to be bothered. We can go back to sitting in complete silence if that's the way he wants to have it. "Only if you want to hear it."

His head cocks to the side, he chuckles a little, but it's still very dry. He must have already heard every rumor that had anything to do with Kirkland. That's the only reason I can link to his avid nonchalance. "Humor me."

"I don't know if it's true, but I heard that Tanya was fraternizing with La Push."

His eyebrows rise, only marginally. My statement spikes his level of curiosity. "Really, when?"

"After the party was raided." I say, repeating the rumor just as I heard it. I don't like to add extra parts for the sake of making a story more juicy. That is what leads to people having misconceptions and ruined reputations. At this point, I don't see how I could blacken Tanya's reputation any more than it already is though. "She was supposedly with Embry."

"Felix's step brother?" Edward's frown alerts me. "Why haven't I heard about this?"

"Well, people dismissed the rumor the next day when they saw that you and Tanya were still together." I say pointedly, I hadn't heard the rumor resurface since that day. "They were hoping that you'd break it off with her."

A half smirk lifts at the corner of Edward's lips. He takes his eyes off the road to catch a brief look at me. The deviant inside of him waves at me behind that suggestive expression he wears.

I can't help but dread and long to hear what he has to say. "Is that what you were hoping for too?"

I am immediately taken aback. I almost roll my eyes at him, but I am able to contain my reaction. I'm not trying to lend him the satisfaction of seeing me flustered on his behalf today. "Why would I hope for that?"

He's not looking at me anymore, but he might as well be. His words make me just as unnerved as his startling eyes do. "Because then you wouldn't feel bad anymore when you picture me fucking you."

"You're entirely too ridiculous."

"Am I?" He asks rhetorically, with not much desire to hear a response out of me.

I still don't know what to say about Edward. I try to match him when he throws those quips at me but sometimes he knows exactly what to say to render me silent. It's not always just the content of his words either. The emotion inside of them and the strength behind them are what get me. He wholly believes everything that he releases from his tongue. There's nothing that he's ever uttered without a purpose, everything he says is for a reason, but I get stuck when I try to untangle his knotted reasoning.

I decide that ignoring him is the best route to take. There is no other way to get around his subtle form of challenge. "So, is it true or not?"

"How am I supposed to know?" He queries, voice trailing towards a more sarcastic path. I am glad that he doesn't call me out for not answering his question. I know that he noticed my swift evasion. "I was too busy saving a damsel in distress, to be keeping track of Tanya."

"You shouldn't have to keep track of her." I don't know why I say this. It's not even my place. Still, I can't digest the word vomit when it's adamant on uprising. "Don't you trust you own girlfriend?"

The smirk on his face falls away. "Whatever you think Tanya and I have going on is probably wrong."

I look down into my hands and fumble with my fingers. My voice comes out soft without my permission. "I think you love her."

"I have love for her. That doesn't mean I'm in love with her."

"What?" I can't actually fathom what he's just said.

Tanya and Edward have been together since the beginning of time. I don't honestly remember when I first learned of Edward, but I know that Tanya has been attached to him ever since the news of him surfaced in Forks. They mesh for all of the right reasons. I never see them arguing or fighting. All I see is rugged passion when I see them interact with each other.

I thought that was what being in love looked like.

Edward sighs and I can tell there are wheels turning inside of his head. He's thinking of the right words to say aloud, but he's not usually so willing to explain himself. I think he's starting to feel a little bit uncomfortable.

"Tanya and I have a connection. She's real. She's about her shit. That is what makes her so damn sexy to me. She's always ready to make a move."

I smile knowingly. "You admire her."

Edward nods his head, smiling a little himself. His smile is not filled with exuberance. It's filled with something melancholy and disappointing.

"This life has its fingers wrapped around her though, and that's where we differ. Dealing with shady business has made her shady."

The people in Forks think that everyone in Kirkland is shady, and that assumption may or may not be true. For one of Kirkland's own occupants to call out one of their own people, is flabbergasting, to say the least.

My eyebrows find each other in the middle of my forward where they always connect when I get confused. "Really?"

"At first it was me and her against the world. Now, I can't trust her sneaky ass. She's all for self-gain. She lost sight of the mission."

"What was the mission?" I ask, noting the fact that Edward appears to be very desensitized.

"To help each other prosper." He replies, keeping his sole attention outside of the front window. There is nothing interesting out there, but I think he'd rather look at the cars that we pass instead of over at me, especially while his guard is wavering. "You get greedy when you start making money."

"Alice told me that Carlisle doesn't trust her either."

I find it entirely crazy that Alice, Edward, and Carlisle all seem to have qualms about Tanya's loyalty. Of course, they know her better than I do. I just can't think of a strong enough motive for her to jeopardize everything she with them.

Either she is extremely selfish like Edward said, or she is just another foolish, teenage girl.

"Alice talks too much for her own good." He says wryly, pursing his lips as if he considers not speaking about that. "Carlisle thinks Tanya is compromising our money flow."

"By involving other people like Felix?"

He nods in agreement, but then begins to shake his head, seemingly disappointed. "She's probably the one who gave him the pin number to the account."

"Well, you don't know for sure yet." I try to appease him, but he shoots my sentiment down with his years' worth of apathetic, target practice.

"I know he took that money. Suddenly he has amnesia now. He acted like he didn't have a clue what Em was talking about when the boys went to question him.

I can only think of one thing to say to that. "It's stashed away somewhere safe."

Edward agrees again, begrudgingly locking his jaw at the thought. "Most likely."

A couple of minutes pass, and he leans forward to turn up the volume. I guess he assumes that I am done talking, but I'm not quite ready for our conversation to be over. I'm getting somewhere with him. I don't want to push him too far, but it's rather fun seeing how many guards I can make him let down. It's a wonder he hasn't totally shut down by now.

I turn the dial back down which earns me a threatening look from him. "There's something else that I forgot to tell you."

He decides not to bitch about the radio situation. He takes my bait just the way I'd wanted him to. "What is it?"

"Mike approached me yesterday." I say pensively, wearily expecting an angry outburst to become his chosen form of reaction. "He said he knows it was you who broke into his house."

Edward scoffs, his confidence undaunted. "He doesn't know shit."

"Yeah, he does Edward." I try to explain this to him. Mike had seemed very ticked off when he approached me. I don't want him catching Edward off guard. I think a little humbleness would do Edward good from time to time. "He told me to tell you to watch out."

"There's a difference between thinking you know something and actually knowing something." Edward gives my warnings no mind. "My trail was spotless. I left no evidence behind."

I look at him pointedly, trying not to sound too judgmental with my words. "Who else would break into someone's house?"

Edward still takes a slight offense to what I am trying to insinuate. "I don't think Kirkland is the only part of town guilty for burglary."

"He's planning on getting back at you." This is the last breath that I am wasting on his behalf. He doesn't have to believe me if he doesn't want to. He needs to learn how to accept help when it's throwing itself directly in his face.

"Newton is the least of my worries, Princess." Edward says this spitefully but it doesn't hit home the way he'd hoped it would. "I'm not you. He can't scare me."

"He doesn't scare me anymore." I turn his words around and use them against him. I want to see his reaction. "But you do."

"You should be afraid." His voice lowers, not the tone of it but the volume. There's a darkness inside of him that doesn't have the capacity to exist within anyone else. Edward is the real deal, and he knows it. "I could hurt you way worse than he did."

I look at his face; he has all the features of a bad boy but the vulnerability of a little boy. He's striking. "I know you won't."

"You don't know that." His tone is clipped and deep with refusal.

"Yes I do." I retort, refusing to back down myself.

"You think that." He clarifies, shaking his head and recoiling in the only way he knows how. He is defensive and pessimistic for the sake of himself. "I told you there's a difference."

"Do you want to hurt me?" I ask quietly, unable to stop myself.

"No, but sometimes shit happens." His voice is almost earnest, almost meaningful, but he reverts before that rare softness can reach me. "Especially, when you're in the wrong place, and with the wrong people."

"Which people are the right people?" I wonder aloud, shaking my head. "What makes you the wrong person?"

He sighs outwardly, and I watch as his brows furrow. "I think you already know the answers to those questions."

"It's a lifestyle. It isn't who you are." I want to show him that being around him has tremendously shifted my perception.

His personal self is nothing like the deviant he appears to be. I know that now, and I don't judge him anymore. I just hope that he doesn't take it the wrong way.

Unfortunately, taking things the wrong way is something that Edward is richly skilled in.

"Look who's mind has suddenly changed. You've been snooping inside of my life for two weeks, and opinions you've been holding for years have magically changed? You're so incredibly fickle Bella."

My eyes widen at the contempt inside of his voice. I'm not so sure how he can make me feel guilty at all. "I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt."

"You were trying to tell me what you think I want to hear." He snaps, unrealistically moved with some sort of anger. "Because you know that this is a bad decision, and you want to feel like less of a fool for wanting to go through with it."

I think it's unfair for him to make such blunt assumptions and I'm getting irritated at his frequent tendency to do so. Alice is right about many things. He's trained himself to become careless. When he does permit himself to feel something, it's usually a negative emotion.

I look away from him, angrily shaking my head. "Why does it always have to be an argument with you?"

He's more rude with this reply than he's ever been. "You get on my nerves."

"That doesn't give you the right to be an asshole!" My voice rises appropriately. I don't know why he thinks he can just say what he wants to people. I don't know why he doesn't care about how he makes other people feel, and I don't think I want to honestly know the answer to his amorality.

"I can be whatever the fuck I want to be." He unleashes any trace of cordiality from his bloodstream, dragging his eyes off the road to send me a brief glare.

"And you're going to be all alone if you have a mentality like that."

My biting words only make him hesitate for a moment. "I'm already alone."

"It doesn't have to be that way." I say softly, dropping my angry pretenses. I am more confused than I am anything else. I want to know why he is reacting like this. Why does he immediately shut down when someone tries to be on his side, rather than being against him for once? "I want to be your friend."

Edward dismisses my claim without taking the time to let it resonate, he douses my friendliness in gasoline and sets fire to it. "You don't know what you want."

"How can you actually say that?"

"I know you Bella." I should have expected this to be his reply since he apparently knows everything.

"So, you know everything?" I roll my eyes. "Everyone else is virtually clueless huh?"

He chuckles quite dryly; all the light inside of him is hiding away. "Basically."

"Well, tell me what you know." I challenge, waving a hand out in front of me. I tell him to lay it all out on the table so that we can ponder it together. "Enlighten me, for the hundredth time Edward."

"You don't know whether you want to be my friend just for the thrill, turn me over to your dad so you can have your life back, or take my fucking dick out and start riding it so you'll know what a real fuck feels like."

I don't see how he can be so spiteful and not feel bad about it. I haven't given him much of a reason to be upset. Even if I had, there is no excuse for deliberately trying to hurt someone's feelings. Something is going on with him and it's deeper than I know. If I'm being quite honest with myself, I think that he's scared of me.

"I regret asking you to drive me." I mutter under my breath but loud enough for him to hear me. "You're too bipolar for me."

"Jake would have taken you and you know it." He retorts, letting everything roll off of him. I wish that I could be as apathetic as he is. Maybe life is a whole, lot easier through the eyes of an asshole who doesn't care about anything. "You asked me for a very specific reason."

"I thought I saw something in you." I look out of my window, the scenery flowing past us is the only thing I can find to focus my attention on. I need to find some kind of distraction from the waves of frustration that flood the car. "I was wrong."

"You were dead wrong if you expected me to fall into those pretty brown eyes. I know who you are Bella. I know where you come from. This situation right here was never meant to happen. We can't be friends. I don't know why you even have that absurd thought inside of your head. We're too different, and dealing with you is going to get me caught up, I just know it. I'm not like Tanya, and I'm damn sure not like you. I'm not going to jeopardize the people I care about for someone who can turn on me in the blink of an eye."

"You're..." I shake my head, unable to believe that he just went that far.

The only reason I even turned my back on Charlie was because of him. I saved his ass, and this is the thanks I get? I don't think he realizes just how much shit I went through to carry out favors for him. It's sickening to think that he is just that ungrateful.

I don't know if this is his defense mechanism at play or if this is simply the depth of who he is.

Is he trying to turn me away because I'm steadily getting closer to the core? Is he trying to give me a glimpse of what it would be like to put up with him on a daily basis, or is he so mad at himself and the world that he thinks being alone is a better alternative than allowing someone to actually care about him?

"I'm real. I have my shit together. I know who I am." He says simply, completely unabashed. "But you're all confused. You're gullible and you want people to pacify you when you make stupid decisions that you don't know how to handle. You're not a fucking baby."

"I never said I was." I say defensively, but refusing to work myself up into yelling. I'm done with feeding into his little games. I wonder if he acts like this with everyone that he encounters or if I am the only one limited to his special treatment.

If this is who he is, I can't imagine anyone wanting to put up with him.

"Then stop acting like one."

I sigh to myself. "I really pity you."

I see that he is shocked now, those eyebrows skyrocket with the intensity of his question. "What?"

"You have to be the saddest person I've ever met." I want to poke a hole inside of his armor, but my attempts are nothing but futile. "You push people away even when you don't have a reason to."

His shock quickly reverts to what it was before. "Look, we're going to get through the rest of this ride, I'm gonna drop you off so you can bask in la-la land with your mom, and then we're going to get back to our own lives. That's the way it's supposed to be."

"Is that the way you want it to be?" I chance one more look at him, and I am rewarded with the same guarded insolence.

"Life is not a fucking fairy tale, Bella." I can't be so sure, but I think I see a little bit of regret somewhere around the corners of his emerald infused eyes. "It's not always about what you want."

_And then we're all swaying madness. Our lives igniting like defective fireworks..._

* * *

**IMPORTANT AUTHOR NOTE:**

**So, I talked it over with my beta. We're going to try for some EDWARD OUTTAKES**

**I'm going to start off with two. I want the readers to tell me which two chapters (out of the 11 so far) they would want to see written in Edward's perspective.**

**I'm going to start working on them after I get part two of this chapter posted.**

**ADDITIONAL QUESTION:**

**1) What do you guys think about some Edward outtakes? Excited? Nervous?**


	12. Enough

Okay, just so you guys know...I'd be absolutely nothing without my beta.

I want to give a special thanks to **_SunflowerFran_**

And I want to thank everyone who took the time to review and support this story.

I really, really, really appreciate every single one of you.

I want to possibly continue writing when I graduate. Maybe write a book or something. I've never been comfortable with letting people read my work because it feels personal.

This experience is giving me confidence.

Thank you and enjoy.

* * *

The iPod comes in handy just as I thought. I have to put on one of my more violent songs to match the intensity of what I am feeling as I sit here next to Edward and his impolite ennui of my character as a whole. We ride for what seems like miles on top of miles in complete silence. There is no immediate interaction between the two of us.

Edward's unabashed features seemed to be wrapped in a bulky curtain, safe from prying eyes. There's also a hypothetical wall stationed where the armrest meets both of our seats. It's stupid because we act like we can't see or hear each other, but the only thing we can feel in the restricted space of this small Volvo is each other's suffocating presences.

It's hard not to notice how much concentration he focuses on driving. His extreme interest of the road doesn't have anything to do with him being a cautious driver. He's doing at least eighty in a sixty mile zone. He threw caution out of the window as soon as we merged onto the freeway. Edward's reluctance to devote one percent less of his attention on anything that is not outside of the car, is due to the fact that he wants to make himself think that he's driving alone.

I guess he thinks if he pretends that I'm not here then it'll make all of the wrong things he's said dissipate. It doesn't work like that though. Who would have thought that the fearless Edward Cullen would act as pusillanimous as this towards little ole Bella Swan? But in case he's forgotten, I'm still in the car with him, and he still said all of those hurtful things and he is still wrong.

I no longer have an interest in attempting to pull his shrouded humanity out of him. Every time I get deep enough to grasp onto one of his hidden inner qualities, I always end up wishing that I hadn't. He's not like any other person that I've ever had to encounter in my life. Maybe that is what makes it so hard for me to condemn him as a lost cause as so many other people have. However, at this point in time, it's also what makes me not want to waste my time defending his potential.

After our argument, there is only one instance when Edward speaks again, and it's not to me. Someone calls him on the phone during the ride. I am still staring out of the window and listening to my music when I see his long fingers reaching towards the radio. I turn my head briefly to see him twisting the volume dial to lower the sound of the music. I almost think that he is about to try and talk to me, I'm ready to shut him down rather closed-mindedly, but then I realize that he's holding his cracked phone to his ear with the hand that he doesn't have on the steering wheel.

I return to ignoring his existence once he begins to talk with whoever has called him. At least ten minutes pass, and he is still on the phone with this person. I only take my earphones out of my ears when I see Edward slam his fist onto the dashboard. I can't help the chill that causes me to flinch at his sign of violence.

"What the fuck do you mean Garret got jumped?" Edward sets his phone on speaker so he can use both hands to drive. "Why was he alone anyway?"

I hear Emmett's boisterous voice coming through the other end of the phone. "He wasn't even alone. Tanya was with him."

Either he is agitated, or he is worried, I can't decipher which one it is yet.

"He was with Tanya?" Edward's tone drops menacingly, there's no ignoring the suspicion that washes across his face. "See, that shit doesn't even sound right."

"None of it is right." Emmett agrees. "We're about to be in some deep shit."

"So, they beat his ass and took his book bag?" Edward is shaking his head in exasperation.

He looks terse. He looks like he needs some lifting up. I'm obviously not the person equipped to do that. I simply watch him as he reverberates with frustration.

"There was about two grand worth of stuff in there. We're losing way too much money making these stupid mistakes."

"We're gonna have to take some shit from the stash back at the trap house." Emmett replies, his voice cautious. I think he's trying his hardest not to push Edward to the brink. "That's the only way we can reimburse Garrett's client."

"Yeah, but then we're gonna be short again." A frown rearranges Edward's facial features. "I'm picking up the shipment once I get to Seattle. The stuff at the trap house is already assigned to someone else."

"We're gonna end up owing someone either way we do it."

Edward takes one hand off the wheel to drag it across his face. "Where is Garrett now?"

"We're on our way to pick him up." Emmett announces, just when I notice that there is a slight hum of a car in the background. "He's still in La Push with Tanya."

"Well, you better get there fast. Cauis is going to be pissed if he gets to Garrett and he doesn't have his stuff."

Emmett sighs against the phone receiver. "So, what do you want us to do?"

"Go ahead and take the drugs from the trap house." Edward instructs. "Try to stay low key until I get back."

"How far are you from Seattle?"

"It'll be another forty-five minutes before I make it." His eyes scan the perimeter of the streets ahead of us. "I'm gonna try to make it back to Kirkland a little earlier than I planned."

"Alright man, be safe out there." This is the closest thing to endearment that they have uttered to each other.

"I always am." Edward's turn is next. He does less of a proficient job telling Emmett that he cares about him in their coded language. "Don't do anything else stupid."

When he hangs up the phone, I turn to face him fully. "What was that about?"

Edward looks at me briefly. Everything about him is hard around the edges except for the smirk on his mouth. That is the only thing that's ever soft about him. "Didn't you hear the entire conversation?"

I nod my head, knowing that Edward will make this conversation much more complicated that is needs to be. "Yeah, but I didn't really understand what was going on."

"Garrett was on a mission by himself, and he got jumped." Edward's voice is gruff, his eyes narrowed. "What's so hard to understand about that?"

"They stole the drugs he was supposed to be selling?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if Felix and Embry had something to do with it." He's shaking his head again. "After what you told me, it's a coincidence that Tanya just so happened to be present when this happened."

I look down at my hands; my fingers are fidgeting with curiosity. I can't stop myself from asking. "Is he going to get killed?"

Edward's eyes widen, and he looks at me incredulously. "What?"

"Won't his client kill him if he doesn't have the merchandise?"

Edward smirks at me, but he shakes his head. "He's not going to get killed, but that shit can be dangerous. People don't play games when it comes to drugs and money. That's why I told Emmett to hurry and pick him up. Cauis is still going to get what he wanted though."

"From the drugs Carlisle has stashed in the trap house?"

"The only thing is … that stuff is supposed to go to someone else Friday night." His optimism is fully deflated. "If we keep getting stuck in tight spots it's going to catch up to us."

"But you're on your way to get more merchandise, right?"

"Yeah but that doesn't matter. Since we're balls deep in the hole, Carlisle only ordered enough stuff according to the clients he already has set for the month coming up. He didn't want to buy more than we could afford."

I know that Carlisle is systematically inclined. I didn't know he was that organized though. "So, he already knows who his clients are going to be for the entire month of November?"

Edward's answering nod confirms my question. "And he ordered just enough to serve those clients."

"One mistake can mess up the flow for the entire month."

He sighs out his desolation. "This ultimately digs us deeper into debt."

Damn, that really is hardcore. I can't imagine how they all can deal with a life like that. "That's messy."

"Yeah. I'm glad you're finally catching on."

This is not a reconciliation for us. The fact that he's talking to me now doesn't dispel anything that's happened in this car previously. I'm still pissed at him, and he is still refusing to apologize. The car reverts to silence when there is nothing more left to say. That is how the remainder of our ride goes. The forty-five minutes it takes to get to Seattle is more like an hour with the traffic rush that comes into effect.

It's about nine something at night when we finally pass the sign that welcomes us. My stomach drops onto the floor of the car. I am wracked with everything that has to do with nervousness and excitement.

I actually came this far.

I actually came this far to see my mother.

I actually came this far to see my mother with Edward Cullen...

"I think you should wait until the morning to go see your mom." His voice cuts my thoughts into a thousand tiny pieces. "It's going on ten. I'm sure she's getting ready for bed right now."

"That's a good idea." I say, because I want more time to prepare myself; it's all so sudden. I need to let my body rest on these jitters. Tomorrow I will be rejuvenated and ready.

"You can stay the night at the hotel with me." He offers, as if I have another choice. "I'll take you to wherever she's staying when you wake up."

"Alright."

The drive to the hotel is actually another fifteen minutes. We pull up to the Four Seasons hotel and I look at Edward as if he is crazy. I don't know why he chooses to room at one of the most expensive hotels in the city. He's here for a business trip not for a weekend getaway.

He chuckles as he catches me staring at him incredulously. "Did you expect me to go check into Motel Six or something?"

"I'm sure the Holiday Inn would have sufficed." I roll my eyes at his smile. "This is just ostentatious."

"Look who's talking." He quips, his sarcasm isn't deep this time. He's merely teasing me. That's a first, since most of the time he's aiming his words to kill. "You've probably seen your fair share of palaces."

"Actually, this is the first time I've ever been to a hotel."

The lobby is nothing like anything I have ever seen before. The arched ceilings are made of stainless glass, doused with intricate designs that make you feel as if you're in some place where royalty lives. The chandeliers are hanging right in the middle of the dome, shining dim light on anything that passes underneath its illuminations, and I wouldn't be surprised if they were made out of actual gold.

There are Picasso's bests positioned along every, single wall, colors and themes in accordance to whichever bountiful flower is stationed next to them. There is a giant portion of the lobby where important looking people are lounging in fancy chairs, their legs are elegantly crossed, and they're quietly gossiping about everybody that they see walk through the entrance doors.

I know that we look oddly out of place in this environment. Edward is especially the one who sticks out like a sore thumb. He's wearing black harem pants. They're loose around his waist but slim fitting on his legs. They're almost like skinny sweat pants. His torso is covered with a black crewneck, and a sleeveless denim vest. His Converse are all black, and so is the shimmering watch that's strapped around his wrist. He looks like a teenager that stays wrapped up in trouble, but maybe all of that could have been acceptable if he wasn't wearing that damned snap-back that says 'FUCK YOU' in big bold, white letters on the front of it.

He lives to make people feel uncomfortable.

We approach the receptionist's desk and I can tell that she's judging us by the way her narrowed eyes give us a very excruciating onceover. I catch her eyes lingering on Edward for a bit longer than is necessary. She undoubtedly thinks that he is attractive, but she also regards him as if she thinks she is better than he is in some way. I don't know why this irritates me as much as it does. I am just about to say something harsh to her when she opens her mouth to speak.

"Welcome to The Four Seasons hotel." Her voice is bored with dismissal. She looks at her manicured nails and kisses her teeth before she gives Edward the appropriate recognition. "Do you need directions? Hotel Max is off of the next exit."

My eyes quickly flash in Edward's direction. I expect him to be frowning because I know he hates pretentious people, but he only offers the rude receptionist a crooked smile before he shakes his head.

"Actually Bree, I have a reservation under Edward Cullen." Her eyes widen at the condescending way Edward reads her name off the tag that is clipped to the front of her uniform shirt.

She arches an eyebrow in his direction before turning to face the computer. "Should I look under guest rooms?"

"No, I'm pretty sure it's a suite." Edward replies, tilting his head to the side to view her with appraising eyes. There is no mistaking the sarcasm underneath his tone. He's not putting much effort into disguising it. "Of course you can tell me otherwise once you find my name."

"Okay, looks like I have you here for the two night stay..." She pauses as a slight blush spills across her face, "On the nineteenth floor, the one-bedroom luxury suite."

"That sounds about right." His smile is nothing but arrogance and she has to look away. Her eyes refocus on whatever the computer screen says. "Should I pay with cash or credit?"

She looks at him snobbishly, as if she can't believe what he has just asked her. "It's twelve hundred a night."

Edward nods his head slowly, repeating his question with a little more attitude than before. "Cash or credit?"

She sighs outwardly, jutting her lips out into an agitated pout. I have to wonder how she has not been fired by now. This is the rudest service I have ever been subjected to. Her voice is almost curt when she finally offers Edward his long awaited reply. "We prefer you pay by credit card."

"Then I'll pay in cash." He says drolly, flashing her a challenge through the message inside of his blazing eyes.

I don't try to hide the amusement on my face when her eyes widen again. She shifts her gaze between him and me a couple more times, and hopefully she feels foolish for being so presuming. I don't want to get cliché, but you honestly can't judge a book by its cover. She doesn't know anything about us, but apparently we're not fit for this hotel because we aren't wearing business suits and pencil skirts. The real reason why I am so upset with her blatant display of prejudice is because I used to be exactly like her.

One day she may be on the other end, and once you're the one being judged, the realization hits you like a battering ram. We're all different, but yet the same.

Edward swings his black Jansport from off his back and pulls his wallet out of the front pocket. Both of us each have two book bags. That is the only luggage that we have. Mine is filled with clothes and knick-knacks. Edward's is probably filled with a lot of unmentionables.

Her eyes turn into complete saucers when Edward pulls out his wad of money. At first, I am not surprised until I realize that the entire, rubber banded stack is crisp hundreds. I can't even imagine how much money that is. I would say at least five grand, if I had to make an estimate. I don't know why Edward carries that much money on him, or how he handles knowing that he's loaded, or why he's not extremely big headed like everyone in Forks who has that sort of money just to throw around.

The room turns out to be almost three grand with the room rates and tax. The receptionist is dead silent when Edward hands her the money. I think he has succeeded in dazzling her, as well. Her voice is gone, and she probably won't get it back until she goes to sleep and manages to snap out of the daze Edward has trapped her in. Hopefully, when she comes in for work tomorrow she won't be such a pompous asshole.

"How do you have that much money?" I inquire, once we are tucked within the confines of the elevator.

Edward leans against the wall, shooting me a brief sideways glance as he bobs his head to the music. "You might not be aware of this, but I'm a drug dealer."

I roll my eyes at his derision. That's not the answer I had been looking for. "I thought you guys were in the hole though?"

They owe so many people, yet Edward has the money to book himself a four-star suite. That doesn't make much sense to me. I don't know how being a drug dealer works. However, I'm sure that it's much like having a regular job. You work to make money for someone else and they give you a percent of that earning.

"That doesn't mean we don't have our shit saved up." He explains evenly. "Carlisle owes people money, but we still get paid every time we go on a mission."

"I wouldn't expect you to put your life in danger if you weren't getting anything out of it."

"Of course, we're getting paid less now, since he's trying to save money." He looks back at me with a slight smile. "How much do you have on you right now?"

Charlie directly funds the money I have on my debit card. It doesn't even compare to the load that's probably weighing down Edward's pockets. "About two hundred."

"You packed light, Princess." He chuckles at me, it's lighthearted though. I see his eyes shimmer with anticipation when the elevator lets us off on our designated floor. "Wait until you see this room. You're going to be blown away."

Well, that is the understatement of the year.

I'm not blown away when Edward turns the room key into the lock. Upon entering the room, I am damn near knocked down. We walk into a living room that is probably bigger than my kitchen and dining room combined. The layout is inviting, bright and airy, with aspiring views of downtown Seattle.

It is contemporary, with light colored wood and soft, natural hues. The comfortable seating area is endowed with two sofas made of mixed hardwoods with solid wood legs. The cushions are foam and blended polyester. The coffee table positioned in the middle of the sofas, as well as the love seats have hydrangeas spilling over their crystal vase and a bottle of champagne sleeping in ice. The television is one of the biggest flat screens I have ever seen. It's embedded in the far wall much like at Edward's house.

The suite doesn't have a kitchen, but there is a dining area close to the bedroom. I leave Edward to appreciate the elegance as he sees fit. I find myself trailing through the bedroom, towards the bathroom that is attached to it. This is where I almost lose my mind.

A refreshingly over-sized tub sits near the left end of the room. It's one of those deep, soaking tubs with the jacuzzi jets and bubble simulators. The shower is a wholly different unit. It's unattached to the tub but stationed right beside it. It is glass-enclosed with a showerhead that drops the water on you like a tropical rain shower.

I forgot to mention the lavish double vanity, the marble floors, and the crystal lights that hang from above.

"Edward!" I shriek his name at the top of my lungs, surprising myself at the girly pitch my voice has risen to. "You have to see this tub!"

Edward bounds hastily into the room, he almost looks startled, but he smiles when he sees me fangirling over this luxurious bathroom. "You like it?"

I'm nodding my head way too quickly and with way too much enthusiasm. I'm going to give myself whiplash if I don't stop soon. "This is insane, Edward."

He stands behind me, and I can see him through the mirror. I meet the attention of his reflection and the expression he wears holds me there. "Imagine yourself in that tub with the turbos on, sipping a little bit of champagne, listening to some soothing music, while I'm gently scrubbing your back with vigor."

My eyes were closed with visualization until he added that last part. I look at him drolly before hitting his chest. "I can do without the back scrub."

His shoulders hitch in a shrug, but his eyes are anything but nonchalant. "Suit yourself, little Swan."

The initial awe starts to wear off after we've set our bags down and taken a breather. Edward and I are both in the living room. There's a movie playing on the big screen, but he isn't paying attention to it. He has been on his phone since we ventured out of the bathroom. I am becoming curious as to who he is talking to. It doesn't sound like any voice that I've heard. It must be someone that he knows from Seattle.

It's about eleven when Edward tells me that he's going to step out for a little while. I suppose that he has some missions that he has to go on. He's here to find out why their money flow is fluctuating, but that doesn't mean he can't make a few extra dollars on the side. I don't dare ask to go with him. I don't think I want to see him live and in action. I'm not opposed to staying in this beautiful hotel room by myself anyway.

I tell him to be safe. I'm probably going to be sleep when he gets back.

That tub is calling my name, and so is the huge, king-sized bed in the sleeping room.

After Edward leaves, I get my bubble bath ready. This is the perfect opportunity for me to think things over. I have not had a moment to myself to devote towards introspection. Of course, there was a close to four hour car drive, but Edward had pissed me off too much to think about anything else but slapping him in the face.

My emergence into the hot, bubbling water is the instance that reminds me of how everything in this place is excellent for escaping reality. There is no longer confusion waiting for me when I get back at home. Charlie is not sitting by the front door with a stern expression to welcome me, my former friends are not ignoring my existence every time I happen to walk past them in the hallways, and everyone else isn't scorning my name because I'm supposedly the biggest traitor there ever was.

There's only this moment, and this moment would last forever if I could will it to.

My mind eventually shifts towards the thought of my mother. The surrealism of actually seeing her after all these years is eating me up on the inside. There's an excitement vibrating out of me, a thrill, and something else that I can't put my foot on.

I want to tell her about everything I've ever accomplished in life, about all of the books that I've read, and the places that I've visited. I want her to tell me about her favorite memory of me, her favorite foods, and what she likes to do in her free time. I'm almost crying by the time I've decided to let my water out of the tub. I'm happy in this moment. I'm grateful that I'm getting this chance, and despite the fact that he's not the nicest person, I am grateful that I got to do this with Edward.

I fall asleep right after dressing for bed. Edward still hasn't made it back. I don't worry about him as I fall into my blissful comatose sleep. I know he can handle his own. I know he's going to make it back safely for Masen.

Eight hours seem like a lifetime inside that bed. I've never fallen asleep so comfortably before. I wish my internal alarm clock could have allowed me to sleep later than eight, but getting up every morning for school has disabled my body's ability to stay asleep for long periods of time. When I awaken, the sun is streaming in from the big, bay windows. It's warm on my cheeks and bright in my eyes.

I linger in the arms of the soft mattress for a couple of minutes, just thinking about what my day is going to bring me. The excited surge that moves through me is what guides me out of the bed to see if Edward got back in last night.

I find him snoozing on the couch. His arm is draped over his eyes, discarding his face from my line of view. I can't see his features, but everything about him is a portrait of peacefulness. He still has on the harem pants, they're still low slung and exposing his plaid boxers, but he has disposed of everything else. His chest is bare and illuminated under the glow of the table lamp he left on last night. His body looks strong, though his abs aren't fully defined, he's lanky because of his height, but I can see his toned abdomen muscles every time he inhales.

He isn't a very deep sleeper. I noticed this the day Alice and I walked in on him while he slept on the couch with Tanya. The mere shifting of her body was enough to pull him out of his slumber. This time it is my knee's clumsy collision with the coffee table. I watch him stir and revive, feeling a little guilty that I disrupted his nap, when I'd had the most comfortable sleep of my life.

He sits up with drowsy eyes, ringed with purple scars underneath. His skin is delicately pale, so the plum coloration looks striking against his pallor. It's as if he hasn't slept in days. I want to tell him to lie back down, but he's already raking his fingers through his bed ridden hair, and shaking the remnants of sleep out of his system.

"What time did you get in?"

His voice is throwing away all of the sleepy tones that attached themselves to him during the night. "Three hours ago."

"You were out until five in the morning?" I look at him and shake my head disapprovingly. Lack of sleep isn't healthy at all. I'm surprised he hasn't already keeled over. "Christ Edward, do you ever get any sleep?"

"Barely," He says groggily, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Well, go back to sleep." I suggest lightly, knowing that he deserves some time to rest his overworked body.

"I can't. Once I wake up I can never make myself fall back asleep."

Since the mood is so bogged down this morning, I decide to poke fun at him. "You look like a zombie."

His smile rarely reaches his eyes, he flashes his attention onto me with an acute wryness. "Thanks Princess, that does wonders to my self-esteem."

"Whatever, nothing can touch that monster ego of yours."

He sits up straighter now, and his eyes are more aware. He's definitely not going back to bed. He's really going to run himself off of the three, measly hours of sleep he got. "Why are you up so early anyway?"

"I always wake up early. It's instinctual." I reply, wanting to chastise his irresponsibility again, but deciding not to waste my breath. "Plus, I'm really hungry."

He tosses one of the hotel magazines in my direction. It falls to the floor at my feet. "You can order room service."

I ignore that rude maneuver.

Room service isn't what I had in mind, I want to see more of this lavish hotel. This is probably the only opportunity I'll ever get to roam around a place this beautiful. "Isn't there a restaurant downstairs?"

"Yeah, you wanna go see the view?" He catches my desires as if I'd whispered them to him. I guess he understands. I don't think this is the first time he's roomed in a hotel like this. Otherwise, he'd be jumping off of the walls with excitement like I am. "I'll jump in the shower real quick. I can meet you down there."

"Sounds like a plan."

I go back to the bedroom where I stashed my book bag and toiletries. Edward lets me get into the bathroom so I can wash my face and brush my teeth before he starts his shower. When I'm done, he gets into the shower while I go dress. I hadn't truly thought a lot about what to wear on the day I met my mom. I was so nervous about defying Charlie that I just about threw anything into that bag.

All I brought was a variety of leggings and sweaters but just enough for the weekend. I guess I'll have to wear my Ugg boots again today. I don't think it'll make a bad impression. She'll think that I'm grounded and down to earth when she sees how plain I look. I throw my hair into a top knot, grab my wallet, and head out the door towards the elevator.

There's a flyer inside of the suite that says the restaurant is located on the main floor. It serves breakfast until eleven, so that gives Edward and me more than enough time. He's probably going to drop me off after we're done eating which is why I need to get some food in my system. My nerves are making me queasy, and they have nothing to latch on to besides an empty stomach.

The restaurant is just as elegant as every other part of the hotel. I find myself floating down the halls in glee instead of walking like everyone else who is used to these kinds of views. It's a café, and the inside probably accommodates up to eighty people. There is also a continuation of the restaurant that's outside. It's half the size of the indoor one and there aren't many people out there. The weather in Seattle is bipolar. Today is obviously not one of those rare days where the sunshine actually aids in warming the climate instead of just sitting in the sky and looking pretty.

I take the first empty seat I see near the front of the cafe. I want Edward to be able to find me when he arrives. This place is so big; a person could literally get lost trying to take in all of the sights.

My waiter is a young man around my age. He is nice and cordial compared to the girl at the receptionist's desk. He's patient as I take my time to look over the menu, he answers all of my questions about the quality of the food and the taste, and he even makes pleasant conversation as I order for Edward and me.

The place is busy, so I don't expect to receive the food for another fifteen minutes. The waiter promptly delivers the drinks, however, and five minutes later Edward comes barreling through the double doors. I watch him as he approaches the table. He spots me almost immediately. I don't think he tries very hard to keep his bad boy image up, but somehow that appearance is stuck to him like glue. It doesn't matter what he wears. He's always going to look as if he's up to no good.

His hair is damp and dark and so are his eyes. He's wearing his chambray shirt unbuttoned, so the black, Rolling Stones t-shirt is visible underneath. His skinny jeans are dark gray today and so are his Vans. I've come to realize that black is his color because he wears it so often and it looks good against his skin.

He slides into the chair across from mine with a slight smile. He looks more awake now, but those purple shadows are still there. I know that he is exhausted underneath all of that determination.

"This is some fancy shit, huh?" He chuckles lowly at the pretentiousness of it all. "There's probably all frittatas and poached eggs on the menu."

I roll my eyes at his mockery. He isn't as amazed by the scenery as I am. "Frittatas? I should have ordered that."

His brows arch in my direction. "You ordered your food already?"

"I ordered yours, too." I nod my head and flash him a snide smile.

"What if I don't like what you ordered?" He looks at me with pursed lips, dark eyes gleaming with playfulness. "You don't know how I like it, Bella."

"Well, most boys like it the same way." I reply, stretching the suggestiveness in my tone just as he'd done. "I got you the pancake platter."

"I guess that's a good choice. I'm not always so predictable though." His words are purposeful as they always are. There's always something more to what he openly announces. "I like to be spontaneous sometimes."

I feel my cheeks burning, they want to turn pink with heat, but I don't let them. "I like to be spontaneous too."

"You don't strike me as the spontaneous type." He cocks his head to the side, studying me, molding the image of me into his head. "You seem repetitive. I bet you eat the same thing for breakfast every day."

"Actually, I like changing it up frequently." I clarify bluntly, my eyes are pointedly lingering on his. "I like being surprising."

He shakes his head, the corner of his lips twitching, but no smile reveals itself in my presence. His arrogance is spilling across the table. I'm getting flustered again. "I bet you can't surprise me."

I lean towards him a little. "I bet I can."

"Do it." His smile is daring me more than his words are.

I open my mouth to say something more, then I close it and look at him curiously. "Wait, are we still talking about breakfast food?"

"I don't know, Princess." His voice is devious but not his expression, and my heart flutters when he looks up at me through those thick lashes. We stare at each other across the thin layer of wood that is separating us. "You tell me."

The food is delivered sometime during our stare down. I spend the next twenty minutes not noticing how much heat Edward's smoldering eyes emit onto my skin. We don't talk much as we eat. I'm glad that this food can act as a distraction. I'm not going to pretend like the innuendos between Edward and I haven't been occurring more regularly. It's like the only way we communicate. If we're not arguing, we're trying to one-up each other with sexual taunts. Being attracted to him for the thrill is one thing, but being attracted to him because he arouses me is just ridiculous.

It's dangerous, it's selfish, and it's downright stupid.

"Do you know where your mom is staying?" This is the second time his soft voice has brought me out of a whirlwind of thoughts.

"She's staying at The Paramount." I reply, a whole new batch of anxiety churning in the pit of my stomach. "I talked to my grandma as soon as I got out of school on Thursday."

There's a bit of something skeptical written across his facial features. "Your mom still doesn't know you're coming?"

"It's called a surprise for a reason."

He looks as if he wants to say something other than what actually comes out of his mouth. "Okay, well when are you trying to go?"

I'm glad that he doesn't try to discourage me. My confidence is extremely shaky right now. "If we're done here we can leave right now."

"You're going to leave your bags?" He asks. "Aren't you spending the weekend with her?"

"This book bag has another set of clothes and all the other stuff I need." I twist a little, enough so that he can see the bag that I have on my back. "I don't want to take both of my bags. I'll be back here tomorrow anyway. I have to ride back with you."

His face brightens up with remembrance. "That's right."

When the table falls silent, and I feel as though I'm about to burst, I have to say something just so I can block the nerves that are coming up. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah, hold on." He pulls out his cellphone. "Let me make a call. I'll meet you at the car."

Everything is utterly real now. I'm sitting inside of Edward's Volvo and I'm waiting for him to get done talking to whoever he had to call. Once the car starts, we are going to be on our way. I'm going to see my mother in less than an hour. The jitters are something out of this world. I'm trying to picture what her face will look like after all of these years. Charlie doesn't keep any photos of her, so I don't know who I look like more. I didn't get the compassion in my smile from Charlie though, so I must have inherited it from her.

I don't even notice Edward when he enters the car. The slamming of his car door is the only thing loud enough to pull me out of my thoughts. He gives me a reassuring nod before we set off. The drive is literally eleven minutes long. I didn't know that the two hotels were right around the corner from each other. I thought I had more time to mentally prepare myself. When Edward pulls up towards the entrance, I sit there for a couple of minutes.

"Hey Bella." I'm only vaguely aware of his hand gliding over my shoulder. His voice is softer than it has ever been. "You know, you don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"I want to." I am determined; I'm looking towards the front of the building instead of at Edward. "I'm just nervous."

"There's nothing to be nervous for. I'm sure she'll love you." He offers me a small nod, there's something sad inside of his voice.

I don't want to think of his unfortunate predicament with his mother. It'll only add to the suffocating sensations that are warping me into reluctance.

"What are you about to go do?" I ask, trying to kill time.

"I have to go pick up Carlisle's shipment." He catches onto what I am doing, but he doesn't say anything about it. He's patient and understanding, and I appreciate the fact that he's being so nice. I never know what to expect with him. "Then I guess I'll kick it at the suite. Someone's going to stop by at around five to pick up some dank. That's the only thing on my schedule."

"So you're going to be there all day?"

"Most likely." He nods his head again.

I can't think of anything else to say, I can't think of any more ways I can stall the time. "I want to say thanks. I know you didn't have to do this."

"You're welcome." He says earnestly, I know he means it too. His voice is warm. "I hope you find what you're looking for."

I lean across the armrest, and I press my lips to his cheek. "Be safe."

I don't watch Edward when he drives away. We don't lock eyes like some dramatic movie scene. We simply go our separate ways just as it was planned. I do feel a little hollow as I enter through the hotel's automatic doors, but that hollowness is easily replaced with eagerness. The hotel Renee is staying at is moderate. It's more like the casual hotels that are in Forks. It's nothing like the palace I just departed.

I already know the room number, I know the floor, and I know what wing her room is on. I tell the receptionist that I am visiting someone rather than checking in. He gives me the okay to head towards the elevators. My feet feel as if they have hundred pound weights tied to the bottom of them. I don't know how long it takes me to get from the lobby to the fifth floor of this hotel, but it feels like the equal amount of time I have spent away from Renee.

Another wave of nerves hit me as I stand outside of her room.

Should I go back?

Should I go downstairs and tell her that I am coming?

My mind keeps telling me to stop trying to chicken out of this. I have come all the way from Forks to meet her. I have to keep reminding myself of everything I've gone through to get to this point.

The hall is completely deserted, and the only sound is the low hum of a nearby ice machine. My feet nearly disappear in the high pile carpet. I stuff my hands in my pockets, gripping my cellphone for comfort. Bella you want this, you want this bad, I remind myself. I exhale with slow uncertainty and snatch my hands out my pockets, leaving the phone in place. I won't need it.

I take a slow, measured step and shut my eyes when doubt crawls up my spine. Butterflies are present in my gut due to anxiety, and I try to will them to stop. I turn to go back towards the elevators, but I stop myself.

"Dammit," I curse. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I pivot on my heels and take quick steps towards the room door. I force my nerves away and dare the fuck ass butterflies to make a single move. And when my body finally cooperates I knock softly at the door. I snatch my hand away quickly and hide it in my pocket. My heart drums loudly in my chest as I wait. I rock back and forth impatiently. What is taking so long? Maybe she is sleeping. Maybe she isn't even there. Maybe…

The door swings open just as I am working my brain into a frenzy. A man stands before me in sweatpants and a black tank top. He looks as if he is in his early thirties. Renee has to be at least ten years his senior. He has to be Phil her new boyfriend. Who else could he be?

He looks at me with the same confusion as I regard him. "Can I help you?"

"Is Renee Swan here?" I wish I could make my voice a little less timid. I can barely look him in the eyes. I'm so nervous. "I've come to visit her."

"She's here. What's your name?"

I must not look that much like her if he can't immediately see the resemblance. "I'm Bella Swan, her daughter."

"Her daughter?" He regards me thoughtfully for a few seconds. "Wait here for a moment. I'll go get her."

That is exactly what he does. I hear him shuffle into the back of their suite. I hear his voice, but I can't make out what he is saying and then I hear her feminine voice. It's sweeter than I thought it would be. It's not very motherly or rich. She sounds youthful and beautiful.

I almost fall right out of my skin when she is standing right in front of me.

"Hi Momma." My voice is still shaky and more timid if that is even possible. "It's me. It's Bella."

Renee is shorter than me, and her skin is sun-kissed all over. She isn't as pale as Charlie and I am. I guess those years in Florida did her body well. She is petite like me but a little more curvaceous than I could ever hope to be. Her hair is shoulder length and crinkled as if she's just taken her hair out of some really tight braids. She has grey eyes instead of brown, she has thin lips instead of plump ones, but she does have a compassionate mouth. If only she would smile at me, I would know if we had the same one.

The first time she speaks to me my heart stutters. "Come in Isabella."

I immediately notice the way her stomach protrudes. The bulge makes her look slightly off par. She is so tiny yet her belly is so big. "I have a little brother or sister on the way?"

"It's a boy." I can't be so sure, but she seems to avoid meeting my eyes. If she feels guilty, I want her to know that I'm not holding a grudge against her like Charlie is.

This is a chance for us to start over new.

I offer her a smile as I follow her into the living room area of the suite. "You must be so excited."

She stops directly in her tracks and turns to face me, and I am startled by her abruptness. "Why are you here, Isabella?"

My face scrunches in confusion, not just by her question, but because she is looking at me like I am a stranger. "What?"

She seems disturbed that she has to repeat her question. This time she reiterates it differently. It still shocks me all the same. "Why'd you come all the way to Seattle?"

"I wanted to see you." I thought it would be obvious.

She must be joking.

She has to be.

The expression on her face shows no playfulness, however. "Does Charlie know you're here?"

I feel myself grow unusually cold. "No."

"I figured that much."

This is not how I expected our reunion would go.

I never thought my mother would look at me with such disdain—actually, it borders on disgust.

I'd pictured the scenario so many times in my head. Renee is supposed to see me and throw her arms around me with glee. And I'm supposed to smile and breathe in her perfume as I bask in the quality of how a hug feels when it's from your mother. Then together we are supposed to forget everything that happened in the past and try to focus on solidifying our futures.

"What's wrong?" I can feel my cordial expression sliding off my face. It falls onto the floor and cracks near Renee's feet. "You don't sound happy to see me."

She sighs in that way that people sigh when they are about to say something to someone that they would rather keep to themselves. I try to brace myself for anything that might leave me shattered for the rest of my life.

"I've tried to leave that part of my life behind. It was a very unhappy time, and I don't like being brought back to that place. You showing up at my hotel door takes me back there, and I don't need the stress right now, I actually never did."

I am shaking my head wildly and refusing to let her words resonate. I refuse to let Charlie be right. "What? What are you talking about?"

"Charlie made my life very unhappy, Bella." Her voice is stern, as if I should understand this and accept this. She doesn't have much patience. I see this in the way her eyes harden. I want to tell her that she's going to need a lot of patience if she is planning on caring for that little boy properly. If she is going to be the mother to him that she never was to me, then she's going to need damn near eighteen years' worth of patience.

"What does that have to do with me?"

She rolls her eyes and looks away from me for the umpteenth time, and it is getting old.

The Renee I'd made up in my head was never a coward.

The Renee in my head would have held my gaze as she grinded my happiness into sawdust.

"I wanted to leave years earlier. I would have, but you were in the way."

I am horrified by the words she's just allowed to attack me.

My heart stammers.

It almost shuts down entirely.

Either I'm spinning, or the world is, because my legs are getting weak and everything is looking blurry. I can barely will myself to speak at this point.

"I was in the way?"

"Isabella, try to understand where I'm coming from."

"Understand?"

"I came all this way to see you! I haven't heard from you in years."

I'm starting to get to the point where my sadness is fading away. She's about to unleash the other side of me that I've held in over all the time I've lived my life without a mother. For all those years that I was the only one missing the other half of what a family should be.

"I stayed away for a reason."

"Because you're selfish!" I exclaim, throwing my hands up.

Phil has yet to come out of hiding spot. I haven't seen him since he went to go get Renee. I wonder how he feels knowing that the mother of his child abandoned one of her own offspring already. I wonder if he even knew about me. I would think that Renee would do me that slight honor. Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't.

"I didn't have anything to do with what happened between you and Charlie. Wives and husbands separate all the time, but mothers still see their kids for God's sakes!"

"He wanted to settle down. He wanted kids." She's holding onto every excuse that she's ever used to hurt Charlie. My heart doesn't only break for me—it breaks for all three of us. "I wasn't ready for that."

She's going to have to live with what she's done. I'm shocked that her conscience hasn't already devoured her. "So, you're just going to act as if I never existed?"

She crosses her arms over her chest defiantly. "I don't know what you expected to accomplish by coming here."

"I can't believe this. I seriously can't believe this." I put my hand to my forehead.

My chest feels heavy. I try to close my eyes and take deep breaths, but that meditation shit never works when you're already too far at the brink of your breakdown.

"I should have listened to Charlie."

She scorns him with an indignant scoff. "I bet he's said a lot of glamorous things about me."

"You know what Renee, I realize now that he's only ever told me the truth." I defend him viciously. She has absolutely no right, no room, or no permission left to use Charlie's name in a demeaning manner. "He said you were selfish, you were no good, and you were evil."

"I sorry you feel like that, I did what was best for me."

"Fuck you." I snap, unable to do anything but glare balefully.

She averts her eyes from my gaze. I would too if I was her. I don't think that I could stand to look into the face of a blossoming young woman who shared my genetic facets after knowing what I did to her— that I had abandoned her. Maybe she feels some remorse; I still hold out hope for this to happen … that she will reconsider how far I came and how badly I wanted to see her after such a long time.

Ya, I hold out that glimmer of hope … until I hear her next words.

"I think you should go. You wasted your time coming here."

I turn on my heels, forgetting that I am clutching a copy of Wuthering Heights between my fingers. I give her one last look before I toss the book onto the floor. The thud that it makes is the sound of my heart splitting into two pieces.

I shake my head at the sight of her. "I should have never come."

As my hand is on the knob, I turn to face her one last time. "I hope your baby boy has a great father to love him, like I had in Charlie, because you—you are incapable of loving anyone but yourself."

I make it about halfway down the hall before my tough exterior shatters. My steps falter, and I slump against the wall, and then slowly slide down to the floor, tears falling freely. Tears for Charlie who is worried sick about me right now. Tears for me, for my stupidity at not believing the man who loves me, when he tried to tell me the truth.

Tears for this naive girl who thought this trip would change her life.

_And then we're all sure of everything. Our lives joined by sad deliverance..._


End file.
